We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.
This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
What can I do with my ex girlfriends stuff ??
mjh2703
Posts: 4 Newbie
I know this sort of thing has been posted before but I really need some proper advice on... My ex moved out and has now failed to show up 4 times to collect the rest of her things. She has already called the police and tried to claim I've damaged things that she's already taken. I have now changed the locks, but what LEGALLY can I do about the things she is failing to collect ? The Police officer that spoke to me in the first place has dropped off the radar, which I understand as its not priority, however me NOT getting arrested is.. I know that many say you can give 14 days notice, but there is no CLEAR advice on this. I do not know where she now lives, I do have her parents address and have got some prices to move her stuff there, but I'd like to try and avoid this cost and they could just say NO when it turns up.. HELP, I really do need some proper advice.
[purplesignup][/purplesignup]
If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply. 0
Comments
-
Go and see a solicitor for a free half hour. You could send her a letter telling her she has so many days to pick it up after which time you will dispose of it, but if you want it clear cut, better to pay a solicitor to do that. Then there is no comeback that you didn't do all youw ere supposed to.
And ask for a copy to keep in case she does involve the police and you have some evidence to show them.Non me fac calcitrare tuum culi0 -
Go and see a solicitor for a free half hour. You could send her a letter telling her she has so many days to pick it up after which time you will dispose of it, but if you want it clear cut, better to pay a solicitor to do that. Then there is no comeback that you didn't do all youw ere supposed to.
And ask for a copy to keep in case she does involve the police and you have some evidence to show them.
Whilst it may seem minor, as the OP says he doesn't know where she lives so is unable to send a letter but seems to be in contact with his ex (you can probably deduce he likely has her phone number instead). It may be difficult to send an official communication from the solicitor via text message if you catch my drift.
There's also the issue that whilst you can get free 30 minutes of consultation, a solicitor will unquestionably charge for sending a letter. Depending on locations, this may be more than just moving the stuff.
I think the OP is making a rod for his own back, could he not visit the parents and say that as their daughter hasn't acted on collecting her things yet, he wants to drop them off? I really don't understand any reason they'd say no?
Also, I'd scrap the idea of working out removal costs and trying to pin them on your ex with them - I think we've all been there doing things we shouldn't have to for the sake of peace. The faster you can get her stuff out, the faster you can move on.Know what you don't0 -
My poor mother has tried to arrange to be there for her to collect but today is the 3rd time she has failed to keep the appointment. The parents are very difficult people and in all honesty they would love the opportunity to call the Police, so dropping off there isn't a good idea, they are a very difficult family. There is always two sides I know, but I just want her things gone in a peaceful way.. The last time she collected things with her sister my poor 74 year old mum got called a w*anker.... lovely !!! Its a difficult situation that I'm just trying to resolve without more issues. Thanks for the advice so far.0
-
Your first post says four times she hasn't collected yet todays latest post says three times she hasn't collected it.
It seems like you're just getting impatient and want to call the shots.
What sort of things are we talking about? Is it taking up a great deal of room or could you simply bag/box them up and put them in the loft/shed out of the way?0 -
Whilst it may seem minor, as the OP says he doesn't know where she lives so is unable to send a letter but seems to be in contact with his ex (you can probably deduce he likely has her phone number instead). It may be difficult to send an official communication from the solicitor via text message if you catch my drift..
Yes, but he has got her parents address and in absence of any physical address, and the fact that she's being difficult, then paying for one solicitors letter is not such a big deal, cheaper than hiring someone to take her stuff certainly.Non me fac calcitrare tuum culi0 -
Sorry today was number 4. Its a mix of 50 odd pairs of shoe's 100+ items of hanging items, chest of draws, coffee table and various other bits and bobs. Its more a case of times being arranged and then cancelled at the last moment. Of course I can move it all into my dry shed, but that would mean its more difficult when its collected. I'm not being difficult, but I feel it should be collected, the times and dates have been arranged and agreed, not by me, but by her. Dropping it off at the parents is not the way forward.0
-
Could you not text and say you are planning to move out shortly so if her stuff isn't collected by XXX date you will have no alternative to dispose of it at the local refuse tip.
Is it mostly boxed and packaged up? This may be one issue which is preventing her from collecting it, ie the thought that she is going to have to pack it all up with you there. Also, wherever she is now there may be nowhere for her to store it if she,s in temporary accommodation. Her problem of course to sort out but in that case she needs to check out some self storage units u TIL she gets her act together.0 -
I would box it up and put it in your shed. Then tell her you will keep if for x weeks/months and she can collect at her convenience.
Post a copy of the shed key and any other key needed to get access to shed to her parents and let her know you have done this.
Then when she collects she doens't have to have any contact with you or your family and you won't need to see her.
EDIT if possible I would also take anything of yours out of the shed and store elsewhere, do you have a spare room in the house this could be kept for now.0 -
https://www.bigyellow.co.uk/
Stick her stuff in a yellow box unit [or whatever your local self-storage place is]. Send the key and access code to her parents' address. Include a note telling her it's paid for xx time. She can collect at her leisure.
Much cheaper than a solicitor and avoids her returning to your house / insulting your Mum again.
Will cost the price of a padlock plus however long you elect to pay her storage fees for.0 -
Storage places aren't going to be lumbered with stuff without being paid. If the ex doesn't collect it, the OP's card will continue to be charged.Make £2026 in 2026
Prolific £177.46, TCB £10.90, Everup £27.79, Roadkill £1.17
Total £217.32 10.7%Make £2025 in 2025 Total £2241.23/£2025 110.7%
Prolific £1062.50, Octopoints £6.64, TCB £492.05, Tesco Clubcard challenges £89.90, Misc Sales £321, Airtime £70, Shopmium £53.06, Everup £106.08, Zopa CB £30, Misc survey £10
Make £2024 in 2024 Total £1410/£2024 70%Make £2023 in 2023 Total: £2606.33/£2023 128.8%0
This discussion has been closed.
Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply
Categories
- All Categories
- 354.9K Banking & Borrowing
- 254.6K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 455.7K Spending & Discounts
- 247.7K Work, Benefits & Business
- 604.7K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 178.7K Life & Family
- 262.3K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16.1K Discuss & Feedback
- 37.7K Read-Only Boards