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  • FIRST POST
    • grannyshark
    • By grannyshark 8th Jan 19, 12:10 AM
    • 2Posts
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    grannyshark
    will of spousal relative
    • #1
    • 8th Jan 19, 12:10 AM
    will of spousal relative 8th Jan 19 at 12:10 AM
    Hello all,

    My partner and I are getting divorced, he was very laid back abou it, timewise no rush etc amd said if I wanted the divorce I had to pay for it. So I started the proceedings ut it went slowly as I hadnt much money. Then his uncle died and suddenyl there is a big rush to get the divorce through asap, and he is even paying for it all now.

    I cant help but wonder why, and I suspect Uncle left him some money that he doesnt want to share. I have looked on the wills list but theres noting there. I cant afford a solicitor so is there anything else I can do?

    I am divotcing him for cruelty so please dont suggest I ask him

    Bella.
Page 1
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 8th Jan 19, 8:17 AM
    • 4,073 Posts
    • 10,994 Thanks
    Red-Squirrel
    • #2
    • 8th Jan 19, 8:17 AM
    • #2
    • 8th Jan 19, 8:17 AM
    I think you need at least a free half hour with a solicitor.
    • Ozzuk
    • By Ozzuk 8th Jan 19, 8:29 AM
    • 1,624 Posts
    • 2,355 Thanks
    Ozzuk
    • #3
    • 8th Jan 19, 8:29 AM
    • #3
    • 8th Jan 19, 8:29 AM
    Does it really matter? You want a divorce, he wants a divorce and is now paying for it. Maybe he's met someone, maybe he's getting some money. If the latter, would you want that anyway? You may be legally entitled to it (I'm not sure how that works if you are seperated) but its his inheritence, it's not really due to you (just my opinion of course).

    Especially if there are grounds as you state, I'd be looking to cut ties and remove him from your life asap.
    • elsien
    • By elsien 8th Jan 19, 8:44 AM
    • 18,603 Posts
    • 47,216 Thanks
    elsien
    • #4
    • 8th Jan 19, 8:44 AM
    • #4
    • 8th Jan 19, 8:44 AM
    A siblings ex was left an inheritance just before she left him and started divorce proceedings. This was excluded from the matrimonial assets when the finances were being decided on by the court.
    Obviously every case is different but even putting this money aside then any agreement should be looking at all marital assets anyway. If there was domestic abus you may be entitled to legal aid - is this something you have looked into?
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • gettingtheresometime
    • By gettingtheresometime 8th Jan 19, 11:53 AM
    • 4,486 Posts
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    gettingtheresometime
    • #5
    • 8th Jan 19, 11:53 AM
    • #5
    • 8th Jan 19, 11:53 AM
    A siblings ex was left an inheritance just before she left him and started divorce proceedings. This was excluded from the matrimonial assets when the finances were being decided on by the court.
    Obviously every case is different but even putting this money aside then any agreement should be looking at all marital assets anyway. If there was domestic abus you may be entitled to legal aid - is this something you have looked into?
    Originally posted by elsien


    Have to say this was the opposite to what happened in my family though I do know of another case where it was stated by the ex that he wouldn't ask for the inheritance to be taken into account.


    OP - I think until the will has gone to probate then it's a private document but I would definitely seek legal advice...unless just being divorced from him would be sufficient for you
    Lloyds OD / Natwest OD / PO CC / Wescott / Argos Card cleared thanks to the 1 debt v 100 day challenge


    Next on the list - JD Williams
    • AylesburyDuck
    • By AylesburyDuck 8th Jan 19, 12:54 PM
    • 864 Posts
    • 2,156 Thanks
    AylesburyDuck
    • #6
    • 8th Jan 19, 12:54 PM
    • #6
    • 8th Jan 19, 12:54 PM
    Personally, if your divorcing him for cruelty then i'd be still be taking it as slow as you have been doing, dont be rushed because, if what you suspect is true and he doesnt want you to be having a share, i'd be doing the opposite so as to get some compensation for his treatment of you.
    Oh and congrats for not putting up with that any more.
    ,
    Fully paid up member of the ignore button club.
    If it walks like a Duck, quacks like a Duck, it's a Duck.
    • grannyshark
    • By grannyshark 10th Jan 19, 9:25 PM
    • 2 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    grannyshark
    • #7
    • 10th Jan 19, 9:25 PM
    • #7
    • 10th Jan 19, 9:25 PM
    Thank you. Because he was as he was, cruel, I would be glad to be free of him.
    • pickledonionspaceraider
    • By pickledonionspaceraider 10th Jan 19, 11:21 PM
    • 1,418 Posts
    • 3,700 Thanks
    pickledonionspaceraider
    • #8
    • 10th Jan 19, 11:21 PM
    • #8
    • 10th Jan 19, 11:21 PM
    Do you really want half of money, that someone elses' relative worked for? Were you particularly close to said Uncle?

    I understand your OH has been cruel, but the deceased left it to your OH in his will (if indeed, he has)

    It is like punishing the dead for what your OH has done

    It is prudent to protect to keep family money within family lines I feel strongly about it , as too many people get graspy in this situation. Or eventually your hard earned money is going to end up with strangers

    I think you are doing the right thing divorcing him if he was cruel, but to chase after deceased persons money is morally reprehensible IMO
    • Mojisola
    • By Mojisola 11th Jan 19, 8:37 AM
    • 30,600 Posts
    • 78,454 Thanks
    Mojisola
    • #9
    • 11th Jan 19, 8:37 AM
    • #9
    • 11th Jan 19, 8:37 AM
    My partner and I are getting divorced, he was very laid back abou it, timewise no rush etc amd said if I wanted the divorce I had to pay for it. So I started the proceedings ut it went slowly as I hadnt much money. Then his uncle died and suddenyl there is a big rush to get the divorce through asap, and he is even paying for it all now.

    I cant help but wonder why, and I suspect Uncle left him some money that he doesnt want to share.
    Originally posted by grannyshark
    So what if he wants the divorce sorted quickly because he's due an inheritance - isn't it worth working with him to get it all done quickly, especially if he's paying for it.

    If you start to hold out now hoping for a share of this inheritance, just imagine how much stress he could bring into your life, fighting you all the way.

    Get it in writing that he will pay all the divorce costs, get it done as quickly as possible and enjoy your life without him.
    • username12345678
    • By username12345678 12th Jan 19, 3:34 AM
    • 251 Posts
    • 137 Thanks
    username12345678
    You both want the divorce and you now have the added benefit of him paying for it.

    Don't hang around trying to grab money that isn't yours.
    • 74jax
    • By 74jax 12th Jan 19, 1:05 PM
    • 4,937 Posts
    • 6,896 Thanks
    74jax
    Hello all,

    My partner and I are getting divorced, he was very laid back abou it, timewise no rush etc amd said if I wanted the divorce I had to pay for it. So I started the proceedings ut it went slowly as I hadnt much money.
    Not a problem, I am guessing you were ok the proceedings were going at a slow pace as long as they were moving forward.
    Then his uncle died and suddenyl there is a big rush to get the divorce through asap, and he is even paying for it all now.
    I'm presuming this is better for you?

    I cant help but wonder why, and I suspect Uncle left him some money that he doesnt want to share.
    Which I'm guessing is reasonable?

    I have looked on the wills list but theres noting there. I cant afford a solicitor so is there anything else I can do?
    Do for what? This is the bit i don't understand sorry?

    I am divotcing him for cruelty so please dont suggest I ask him
    I think we need to know what you would ask him?
    Bella.
    Originally posted by grannyshark
    I've been in a 'cruel' relationship, well more than cruel but we will go with that wording. Believe me I wanted ziltch from the low life. I couldn't wait to be rid and it left me thousands in debt but was so worth it.

    I think you need to come back and let us know what you mean, as I don't follow.

    Do you want to know how you go about changing your solicitor from you paying to he pays? Why do you need to ask you ex this? just ask your solicitor.

    Do you want half of the money the uncle left? Did the uncle mention you in the will?
    Forty and fabulous, well that's what my cards say....
    • TBagpuss
    • By TBagpuss 13th Jan 19, 5:53 PM
    • 7,174 Posts
    • 9,410 Thanks
    TBagpuss
    It's the making of a financial order, not the making of the divorce, which is relevant to how either of you can make financial claims again the other, so the divorce going through wouldn't stop you making a financial claim.

    So, have the divorce go through, then decide how to proceed.

    Other than any inheritance he might have, are there any financial assets such as a house, pensions or savings?

    Normally, you wouldn't be entitled to a share of any inheritance he might have, particularly if he didn't become entitled to it until after the marriage was over, but if he has had an inheritance, it would potentially make a difference to how the other assets, which might mean that you would be entitled to a larger share of any joint assets than you'd otherwise have.

    If your husband is now willing to pay for the divorce, use the money you save to see a solicitor - take with you a summary of what you know about what assets you and your ex each have.
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