Small debt to some but even smaller income.

AnxiousHermit · 30 December 2018 at 3:14AM

I've been wanting to post on here for a long time but was worried about being judged for being on benefits. Since then I've got myself into even deeper debt and I'm now terrified of the future.
I have depression and I use spending money as a way to cheer myself up.

I find it really hard to leave the house most days, but when I do manage to go out, I seem to spend lots of money. More money than I have to spend. Its as if I'm rewarding myself for managing to leave the house.

I started off with an overdraft of £50, and gave gradually increased it. It's now £450. It was £350 and I went over that and needed rent money, so I increased it to £450 and now I have £87 available.

I don't know how I'll ever pay it off.
I can't seem to control my spending because I use spending as a way to make myself feel better.

I also need to lose weight and it's the same kind of problem. I buy myself chocolate and binge eat throughout the day to cheer myself up.

I live in a house share and it's just easier to eat crisps and chocolate for meals instead of going down two flights of stairs to use the kitchen. Plus when I'm depressed the thought of leaving my bed is hard enough, let alone making myself food.

I'm so stuck right now and I just don't see a way out of it.

badgerhead · 30 December 2018 at 4:11AM

Hi,

I don't really have much in the way of advice but just to wish you well, and suggest if you could maybe think of really quick meals like stir fries or batch cook and freeze, it may help your kitchen predicament. As for people judging you; pay no attention, there's a reason why we have a welfare state, sadly there is a tendency to demonise people claiming benefits.

That said there are some amazing people on this forum who will no doubt be able to help

pidge04 · 30 December 2018 at 6:08AM

I really feel for you and I feel bad that I don’t have any practical suggestions/advice. Do you have a network of friends/family?

BabyStepper · 30 December 2018 at 7:02AM

Hi there and welcome to the boards

It can help to start with a statement of affairs, basically a list of all the money you have coming in and everything you have going out. Gather together all the info and write it down, even if you don't show us it will help get your mind in order. If you do show us we can help you figure out how to save money. There are a lot of experienced and helpful people on here. 2 heads are always better than 1 solving problems, and there are hundres on here! You have come to the right place.

You're starting with £87, is it enough to last until your next lot of income? Are your bills up to date, especially your rent? Do you have enough food? Those basics need to be covered first.

Overdrafts are tricky because they are not separate debt. If you use that account to access your cash then it can be hard to resist using everything up. I suggest setting small targets, maybe start with £50, and work out how to save that up separately. Do you have a savings account? Or a trusted family member who can hold on to the cash for you? Once you have £50, pay it into your account and reduce your overdraft immediately.

Then repeat.

Small targets are helpful for us all. Saving a few pennies on a cheaper box of teabags doesn't seem like much but when you put those extra pennies in your savings pot it can be very motivating to see the progress.

You can do it. Keep posting and letting us know how you are getting on. I've subscribed.

Aaleigha · 30 December 2018 at 9:49AM

I know answering the question I am going to ask might be something you don't want to put it on the board

Have you been to the doctor about your depression, spending, and binge eating

If not PLEASE go

If so are you medicated, if so it doesn't seem to be helping much go back and say so

Make a double appointment then you know you will have the time to take your time

I ask this as I am like you are but much milder I have several mental health issues it took a long time to get my meds sorted I feel so much better than I did but still not 100%

AnxiousHermit · 30 December 2018 at 1:22PM

My doctor knows about the depression and binge eating but I haven't told them about the spending. I guess I was embarrassed about it and didn't want to admit what a mess I've got myself into.
The doctors only seem to want to give me pills and no other help. Despite suicide attempts and ending up sectioned in a mental health hospital, I still don't get any help. The mental health hospital didn't even contact my doctor about it. My doctors had to chase them up about it, almost a year later.

The benefits I get is ESA at £200 every 2 weeks.
I've got an assessment for PIP in just over a week.

I get housing benefit which luckily goes straight to my housemates(who's house it is), and then I have to pay an extra £40 to them every two weeks, so an extra £80 a month in total.

There's a little room next to my room that has a microwave, mini fridge, and freezer which I have a shelf of. I also have a slow cooker in that room.
So really there's no excuse for me to not eat properly.

I did make some meals in the slow cooker and froze them, and some are still sat in the freezer.

When I'm feeling low it just seems easier to eat crisps and chocolate though.
But I need to try and stop buying them things because firstly I can't afford it and secondly it's not good for my health!

Thank you for all the help so far and being so welcoming and friendly.
I'm hoping posting here will be the help I need to finally get out of debt.

The £87 is before the £40 rent I need to get out for my housemates. But apart from that I shouldn't need any more money. I have food in the freezer and a cupboard full of tinned stuff. My dog has enough food and treats as well.

NeverendingDMP · 30 December 2018 at 1:58PM

I just wanted to say hello and welcome. Please dont feel judged for your debt or being on benefits. Ive found so far everyone to isreally supportive and debt is debt at the end of the day which still makes us worry regardless of the number.
I imagine you are feeling overwhelmed by it all and i dont want to put targets on you without knowing all your expenses but if there is anything ive been learning pennies do eventually make pounds and it sometimes helps to ignore the big number and work in small targets. For example if you could save 20p a day your overdraft would be 73 pounds less in a years time. If you can manage 50p a day it would be 182.50 less in a year and so on.
The important thing though is to seek support for yourself from here, friends, support agencies if there are any near you.

BabyStepper · 30 December 2018 at 2:29PM

So your housing benefit goes straight to your landlord, with £80 extra from your ESA. Then you have roughly £320 per month for food, bills and anything else you need. How much do you contribute to electricity, gas, council tax, TV license and things like that? (I am hoping it's included in your rent or that you share with a few others to keep costs down.) How much is your mobile phone? Sorry to sound so nosey.

I'm glad to hear you have done some cooking and have some meals in the freezer. It's really important to take care of yourself, especially when your mental health is not great. I think we are all guilty of sometimes having a giant bag of doritos for dinner though, followed by a Twirl

. I guess the secret is to keep these times to a minimum. Maybe you can work out a meal plan to see if you can reduce costs?

Good luck with your PIP assessment. I'll have my fingers crossed for you.

Also, with benefits coming in every 2 weeks that means over a year you have more money than you think. I have no idea how to work this out but hopefully others with some experience of this income pattern will come along and help.

You have a dog! Amazing, how old is s/he?

Choccygirl123 · 30 December 2018 at 2:29PM

Well done for posting, it's a massive achievement admitting you have an issue. No one is here to judge you and everyone's journey is different, but the common bond is we're all affected by debt.

Great advice from the other posters as every penny does count. Try and work out all your outgoings and income and keep a spending diary to see where your cash goes.

Good luck x

Kitten868 · 30 December 2018 at 4:05PM

Having a small income makes it harder as even a small mess up is so much harder to overcome. I often find richer people don't understand that. Genuinely appreciate that one takeaway can screw up your finances for months.

You can definitely do this. Banks are being forced to be more supportive and accommodating to people who suffer with mental illness. If you feel strong enough call your bank or have a friend call them to see if there's a way they can help you. They may be able to reduce your overdraft by £5 a fortnight or refuse certain payments.

Please do what you can to get someone to go with you to your PIP meeting. They are gruelling and it's difficult to describe your worst day or the harder part of your illness to strangers. I appreciate you may not have someone to ask but you may be able to get the citizens advice bureau to come with you.

You can do this and you will not be judged here xxxx