Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • jbkmum
    • By jbkmum 30th Oct 18, 9:00 AM
    • 88Posts
    • 214Thanks
    jbkmum
    Debt and a baby
    • #1
    • 30th Oct 18, 9:00 AM
    Debt and a baby 30th Oct 18 at 9:00 AM
    Would you wait til you were debt free to have a second child?
    I want to wait, husband doesn't.
    Last edited by jbkmum; 30-10-2018 at 9:11 AM.
    Debt: £52,418.66 Actual Paid: £359.52
    Savings Target £1000 Actual Saved: £0
    My diary in Debt Free Diaries: £50k to £0
Page 1
    • Mummy2cheekymonkeys
    • By Mummy2cheekymonkeys 30th Oct 18, 9:12 AM
    • 181 Posts
    • 1,285 Thanks
    Mummy2cheekymonkeys
    • #2
    • 30th Oct 18, 9:12 AM
    • #2
    • 30th Oct 18, 9:12 AM
    Could you not meet half way and wait a couple of years to get the debt down as much as possible?
    • selement
    • By selement 30th Oct 18, 9:13 AM
    • 504 Posts
    • 1,938 Thanks
    selement
    • #3
    • 30th Oct 18, 9:13 AM
    • #3
    • 30th Oct 18, 9:13 AM
    A baby is a big decision and will likely slow down debt repayment, but at the same time I understand feeling like wanting to do it now before it's too late. Plus you already have 1 child (I think that theoretically a second child isn't perhaps that much more expensive than 1...)

    Only you can work this out between yourselves . My husband and I are currently expecting our first baby despite having debt (around 8k). It's a lot less than your debt and I know we will have to pause paying much more than minimum for a few years but didn't want to wait years to start a family (we can't afford to repay that much a month even without children!).

    It might be worth trying to calculate what you could repay a month if you did have a baby and how much it would slow down repaying that 50k to get a better feel for if it worth it
    Trying to lose weight (13.5lb to go)
    • hazyjo
    • By hazyjo 30th Oct 18, 9:41 AM
    • 11,088 Posts
    • 14,633 Thanks
    hazyjo
    • #4
    • 30th Oct 18, 9:41 AM
    • #4
    • 30th Oct 18, 9:41 AM
    Depends on your ages, where you're living, the age gap between kids, what debt you have and if it'll only get worse. So many other factors that nobody can really advise. I don't have debt nor do I have kids. But who doesn't have debt really in this day and age? Hard to live without it. If you're managing it and can afford extra child care and prob time from work, go for it.


    Your sig mentions £50k-odd debt. Does that include a mortgage or is that literally just debt? That would scare me if just debt and not the mortgage...
    2018 wins: Single Malt Whisky; theatre tickets; festival tickets; year of gin(!); shoes; Thai cooking stuff; Jo Brand talk; Slime Factory; Flawless tickets; Comedy night tickets
    • comeandgo
    • By comeandgo 30th Oct 18, 9:59 AM
    • 2,263 Posts
    • 3,086 Thanks
    comeandgo
    • #5
    • 30th Oct 18, 9:59 AM
    • #5
    • 30th Oct 18, 9:59 AM
    Surely you can't afford another child with 50k in debt? You mention in your diary taking on a second job, could you keep up payments if you are on maternity leave?
    Have you considered going bankrupt as that will give you a clean slate.
    • chelseablue
    • By chelseablue 30th Oct 18, 10:53 AM
    • 2,638 Posts
    • 3,058 Thanks
    chelseablue
    • #6
    • 30th Oct 18, 10:53 AM
    • #6
    • 30th Oct 18, 10:53 AM
    Could of asked this question myself!

    I'm 35, husband is 29 and we have a 4 year old son who started school last month.

    Husband wants another baby where I want to wait (possibly a very long time as I'm happy with 1 )

    We owe £14,000 plus our mortgage of £217,000.
    Now that we're out of paying the high childcare fees of £850 a month I really don't want to go back into it!

    Although my mum no longer works and has said she would look after a 2nd child when I went back to work.
    But in half terms she looks after our son so would mean every 6 weeks she'd have 2 of them to look after
    Mortgage starting balance £231,000
    Mortgage after Year 1 £225,000
    Mortgage after Year 2 £218,000
    • dawyldthing
    • By dawyldthing 30th Oct 18, 11:32 AM
    • 3,128 Posts
    • 3,083 Thanks
    dawyldthing
    • #7
    • 30th Oct 18, 11:32 AM
    • #7
    • 30th Oct 18, 11:32 AM
    Surely you can't afford another child with 50k in debt? You mention in your diary taking on a second job, could you keep up payments if you are on maternity leave?
    Have you considered going bankrupt as that will give you a clean slate.
    Originally posted by comeandgo
    But then your stuck for 6 years with a lot of 5hings, not getting credit etc. Itís not an easy way out
    roll on end of April 2019 *17 done* = *23 to go*
    • rach_k
    • By rach_k 30th Oct 18, 12:22 PM
    • 1,335 Posts
    • 2,308 Thanks
    rach_k
    • #8
    • 30th Oct 18, 12:22 PM
    • #8
    • 30th Oct 18, 12:22 PM
    I think it depends on a lot of factors. How well (or not) is the debt being managed? Is it causing you a lot of stress? Are you struggling to make ends meet while making repayments? Do you have to pay for childcare? What's the maternity pay situation? Have you kept your older child's stuff for the baby? Is your current home big enough for another person? Do you have very definite preferences about age gap between siblings?

    Everybody will have a different mix of answers to that lot!
    • sheramber
    • By sheramber 30th Oct 18, 12:48 PM
    • 5,472 Posts
    • 4,112 Thanks
    sheramber
    • #9
    • 30th Oct 18, 12:48 PM
    • #9
    • 30th Oct 18, 12:48 PM
    It depends on why the debt arose.
    Is the debt due to regularly overspending or is it due to an one off situation?

    If you are not able to live within your income now how will you manage with the expense of a second child?
    • -taff
    • By -taff 30th Oct 18, 1:38 PM
    • 8,734 Posts
    • 8,132 Thanks
    -taff
    If you owe this much money, how much spare cash will you have each week? what happens if you can't pay this debt? Where do you currently live and can you afford to rent if you lose your house? Will you have to purchase/rent another house if you have another baby?
    What's the worse case scenario regarding your income v debt and what's your plan for dealing with it if it happens?
    • phryne
    • By phryne 30th Oct 18, 3:16 PM
    • 444 Posts
    • 727 Thanks
    phryne
    Nothing worse than money worries keeping you awake at night. So if you're the sort who DOES worry about owing other people money, you'd probably be better not extending your family till your debts are cleared.
    • jbkmum
    • By jbkmum 30th Oct 18, 4:27 PM
    • 88 Posts
    • 214 Thanks
    jbkmum
    I currently am not worrying about money, I've totally curtailed my habits - the debt wasn't due to not being able to afford to live but rather to a disgusting throwaway-consumerist lifestyle.

    The last few months have been life changing!

    I wouldn't have a child with 50k, but could consider it at 25k. We actually have kept every single item of clothing from our son, and the cot - there isn't much we'd need other than a new cot mattress, bedding and bottles.

    It would put a strain on our finances so its not something I want to do with such a high level of debt, was interested in other opinions because my husband is so keen on it
    Debt: £52,418.66 Actual Paid: £359.52
    Savings Target £1000 Actual Saved: £0
    My diary in Debt Free Diaries: £50k to £0
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 30th Oct 18, 6:08 PM
    • 3,606 Posts
    • 9,647 Thanks
    Red-Squirrel
    I currently am not worrying about money, I've totally curtailed my habits - the debt wasn't due to not being able to afford to live but rather to a disgusting throwaway-consumerist lifestyle.

    The last few months have been life changing!

    I wouldn't have a child with 50k, but could consider it at 25k. We actually have kept every single item of clothing from our son, and the cot - there isn't much we'd need other than a new cot mattress, bedding and bottles.

    It would put a strain on our finances so its not something I want to do with such a high level of debt, was interested in other opinions because my husband is so keen on it
    Originally posted by jbkmum
    The age gap with your first child is worth thinking about, although they can be close even they aren't close in age, some things are easier if they are more similar in age/development etc.
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 31st Oct 18, 4:39 AM
    • 7,289 Posts
    • 16,025 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    I think if you have accumulated that amount of debt with just one child you should wait. Even the monthly repayments would be enough to wipe out SMP and childcare costs are expensive. How old are you and how old is your first child?
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • Anna1664
    • By Anna1664 7th Nov 18, 1:16 PM
    • 8 Posts
    • 5 Thanks
    Anna1664
    Debt and a baby
    Forget the debt and ask yourself whether you want another baby and whether you want it just 'yet' or whether you'd prefer to wait - nothing else matters much (apart from age.....and health...and how fertile you are....)
    • motorguy
    • By motorguy 7th Nov 18, 1:40 PM
    • 17,882 Posts
    • 10,906 Thanks
    motorguy
    Forget the debt and ask yourself whether you want another baby and whether you want it just 'yet' or whether you'd prefer to wait - nothing else matters much (apart from age.....and health...and how fertile you are....)
    Originally posted by Anna1664
    Now that view scares me....
    "We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem."
    • frugalwin
    • By frugalwin 7th Nov 18, 7:15 PM
    • 7 Posts
    • 8 Thanks
    frugalwin
    If I were £50k in debt, I wouldnít just wait to have a second child, I would forget about having a second child altogether. If the situation changed in the coming years, Iíd revisit it, but in the meantime figure out how to be happy with what Iíve got (and how to get out of debt).

    Sorry, I hope this is helpful rather than just upsetting.
    • Red-Squirrel
    • By Red-Squirrel 7th Nov 18, 8:23 PM
    • 3,606 Posts
    • 9,647 Thanks
    Red-Squirrel
    If I were £50k in debt, I wouldnít just wait to have a second child, I would forget about having a second child altogether. If the situation changed in the coming years, Iíd revisit it, but in the meantime figure out how to be happy with what Iíve got (and how to get out of debt).

    Sorry, I hope this is helpful rather than just upsetting.
    Originally posted by frugalwin
    Would you count mortgage and student loan debt? Because loads of people couldnít have children by that standard!
    • Fireflyaway
    • By Fireflyaway 7th Nov 18, 8:35 PM
    • 2,022 Posts
    • 2,297 Thanks
    Fireflyaway
    I don't think the amount of debt is necessarily the problem, rather how it impacts you. If you have lots of debt but a big income then it's not so worrying as a medium debt with a small income. Is it just there in the back of your mind or do you ever find yourself with no money or unable to pay a bill?
    I'd do an accurate income and expenditure. Look ahead as well. Will you have 2 lots of childcare bills? Will both of you work etc?
    Having debt wouldn't stop me having a child unless I was in a really desperate situation ( in temporary accommodation or unable to always have the lights on or buy food).
    The essential thing for me would be to have an emergency fund ready. Protect yourselves.
    In short so long as you can get by I'd have a baby and carry on with the paying off debt.
    • Beckyy
    • By Beckyy 7th Nov 18, 11:17 PM
    • 2,760 Posts
    • 4,180 Thanks
    Beckyy
    I think it's a grey area. It depends how much debt, what kind, and if paying it without causing significant financial pressure will still be manageable with another child.
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

3,216Posts Today

8,360Users online

Martin's Twitter