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Main site > Forums > Household & Travel > Marriage, Relationships & Families > Child maintenance questions.
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      kimplus8
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    • By kimplus8 8th Aug 18, 8:51 PM
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    Child maintenance questions.
    • #1
    • 8th Aug 18, 8:51 PM
    Child maintenance questions. 8th Aug 18 at 8:51 PM
    sorry to ask this as it may be a 'how long is a piece of string' question.
    How many ex partner NRP thats say they will quit their job usually do?
    I have had an ongoing battle with the CMS and my ex as he was lying about his circumstances to pay minimum child support for my son. Long story short, after 2 appeals and an investigation by the fraud unit a new calculation has been made and backdated to when my sons entitlement started (2 years ago).
    He disagrees with the calculation, has already had a mandatory reconsideration rejected and the case has now changed to collect and pay to try to claw back some of these arrears.
    The difference in the first calculation and the new calculation is almost double so not a small amount.
    now however he has said he will resign from his job if they try to enforce the arrears.
    I guess I have 2 questions now.
    Do I suck it up and accept that I will probably never get the correct amount for my son and just plod on getting what we do get or
    fight for what my boy is entitled to so he can have as many opportunities that he can and risk the ex quitting his job?
    the lady from the CMS said that fathers who don't want to pay threaten that but rarely actually do it, however from what I have heard from other RP's is that they often do quit their jobs to avoid paying.
    I'm torn between wanting my son to get what is his and wanting him to get something, rather than nothing.
    I just needed to vent really x
    thanks for reading my rant and thanks for commenting if you do :-)
    hope everyone is having a nice evening xx
    Dave Ramsey and Martin Lewis are my Money Saving Heros.

    Sorry!

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    • User avatar
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      Comms69
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    • By Comms69 8th Aug 18, 9:27 PM
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    • #2
    • 8th Aug 18, 9:27 PM
    • #2
    • 8th Aug 18, 9:27 PM
    There is no right answer.

    Most NRPs pay. And most do so gladly. And many don!!!8217;t even see their kids.

    Unless he can afford to not work; he won!!!8217;t be resigning. It!!!8217;s pretty much as simple as that

    Sorry!

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      DUTR
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    • DUTR
    • By DUTR 8th Aug 18, 9:53 PM
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    • #3
    • 8th Aug 18, 9:53 PM
    • #3
    • 8th Aug 18, 9:53 PM
    “
    sorry to ask this as it may be a 'how long is a piece of string' question.
    How many ex partner NRP thats say they will quit their job usually do?
    I have had an ongoing battle with the CMS and my ex as he was lying about his circumstances to pay minimum child support for my son. Long story short, after 2 appeals and an investigation by the fraud unit a new calculation has been made and backdated to when my sons entitlement started (2 years ago).
    He disagrees with the calculation, has already had a mandatory reconsideration rejected and the case has now changed to collect and pay to try to claw back some of these arrears.
    The difference in the first calculation and the new calculation is almost double so not a small amount.
    now however he has said he will resign from his job if they try to enforce the arrears.
    I guess I have 2 questions now.
    Do I suck it up and accept that I will probably never get the correct amount for my son and just plod on getting what we do get or
    fight for what my boy is entitled to so he can have as many opportunities that he can and risk the ex quitting his job?
    the lady from the CMS said that fathers who don't want to pay threaten that but rarely actually do it, however from what I have heard from other RP's is that they often do quit their jobs to avoid paying.
    I'm torn between wanting my son to get what is his and wanting him to get something, rather than nothing.
    I just needed to vent really x
    thanks for reading my rant and thanks for commenting if you do :-)
    hope everyone is having a nice evening xx
    Originally posted by kimplus8 ”
    Like you say there is no one hat fits all solution...…
    For anybody... if it is not worth their while going to work, then they won't !
    Part of it is... you have to use some psychology and change the terms, it's his son as well as yours and he is contributing not paying, makes a big difference.
    Now..depending on his salary that can tilt things, it's easier for someone on NLW or thereabouts to not work than say someone earning into the 40% tax bracket.

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    • By kimplus8 8th Aug 18, 10:42 PM
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      What's this?

    kimplus8
    • #4
    • 8th Aug 18, 10:42 PM
    • #4
    • 8th Aug 18, 10:42 PM
    “
    Like you say there is no one hat fits all solution...…
    For anybody... if it is not worth their while going to work, then they won't !
    Part of it is... you have to use some psychology and change the terms, it's his son as well as yours and he is contributing not paying, makes a big difference.
    Now..depending on his salary that can tilt things, it's easier for someone on NLW or thereabouts to not work than say someone earning into the 40% tax bracket.
    Originally posted by DUTR ”
    well he earns approx 35 grand per year according to the new calculation and has a pretty plush lifestyle so can't see that quitting his job will allow him to sustain that. however his partner also works so what he loses in wages they may well gain in other areas like tac credit and no childcare costs.
    Dave Ramsey and Martin Lewis are my Money Saving Heros.

    Sorry!

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      DUTR
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    • By DUTR 9th Aug 18, 11:34 AM
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      What's this?

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    • #5
    • 9th Aug 18, 11:34 AM
    • #5
    • 9th Aug 18, 11:34 AM
    “
    well he earns approx 35 grand per year according to the new calculation and has a pretty plush lifestyle so can't see that quitting his job will allow him to sustain that. however his partner also works so what he loses in wages they may well gain in other areas like tac credit and no childcare costs.
    Originally posted by kimplus8 ”
    On the old CSA that's about £300 per month in CS contributions, from about £2k take home, depending on how the arrears run then perhaps up to about £450, if he can rebudget then perhaps it's not wise for him to pack up work, it also depends on if his assesment is based on overtime or flat pay.

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    • By TBagpuss 9th Aug 18, 11:42 AM
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    • #6
    • 9th Aug 18, 11:42 AM
    • #6
    • 9th Aug 18, 11:42 AM
    It depends a lot on the situation. Most NRPs don't quit even if they threaten to.

    Some that may:
    - If they are on a low income, so the change to their income if they stop working will be minimal
    - they are mortgage free or living with family so that they won't risk losing their home if they no longer have an income
    -they have family / partner who is willing and able to support them so they can stop work without significant financial pain
    - they work in an industry where they can easily pick up cash in hand work and work under the radar
    - they are very stupid and willing harm themselves in order t ospite the other parent

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      badmemory
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    • By badmemory 9th Aug 18, 5:59 PM
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    • #7
    • 9th Aug 18, 5:59 PM
    • #7
    • 9th Aug 18, 5:59 PM
    I often wonder how their new partner feels about how they are treating a previous partner & their children. Do they really believe they wouldn't do the same to them? Or do they keep their mouths shut & just hope it doesn't? A person (you'll note I am not stating either sex here) who is prepared to disadvantage themselves (& their current partner if they have one) just to "win one over" on an ex is not a nice person & one can see why they would be an ex.

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    • By DUTR 9th Aug 18, 10:59 PM
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      What's this?

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    • #8
    • 9th Aug 18, 10:59 PM
    • #8
    • 9th Aug 18, 10:59 PM
    “
    I often wonder how their new partner feels about how they are treating a previous partner & their children. Do they really believe they wouldn't do the same to them? Or do they keep their mouths shut & just hope it doesn't? A person (you'll note I am not stating either sex here) who is prepared to disadvantage themselves (& their current partner if they have one) just to "win one over" on an ex is not a nice person & one can see why they would be an ex.
    Originally posted by badmemory ”
    I have been a NRP paying CSA and that was it, current Gf's at the time simply had to mind their own business on that score.

    Sorry!

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