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    • Masha
    • By Masha 15th May 18, 6:14 AM
    • 16Posts
    • 5Thanks
    Masha
    Facing repossession of family home after separation from abusive husband
    • #1
    • 15th May 18, 6:14 AM
    Facing repossession of family home after separation from abusive husband 15th May 18 at 6:14 AM
    My ex partner was ordered to leave the family flat as a result of my application for injunction for domestic abuse which expires on July.

    He stopped paying the mortgage even though the court ordered he would pay at least the half of the mortgage which is is in his sole name.

    He also did not want to pay for any monies towards child maintenance which now the CMS is deducting some monies from his employer.

    His approach to all this is null. he did not want and does not want to accept any type of a fair arrangement or mediation but instead he threaten me that if I do not pay for the mortgage or contribute towards it, the bank will repossessed it.

    He just sent me a message that the repossession procedure is to start soon and he wants me to pay half of the 5 months to stop the procedure and also wants to stop child support. He is to return to the property and I wont be able to extend the injunction that initially was fo 3 months and now given another 3 months.

    he has one full time and another part time, enough resources to pay, in fact he sent the family finances to his country and refused to provide for his child during marriage. I am currently living on the government help bien in full care of our child.

    I wonder what options do I have to this whether to stop or find out details about the mortgage status if it is not in my name.
    I am currently preparing the petition for divorce. Thanks in advance.
Page 1
    • Seanymph
    • By Seanymph 15th May 18, 7:35 AM
    • 2,700 Posts
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    Seanymph
    • #2
    • 15th May 18, 7:35 AM
    • #2
    • 15th May 18, 7:35 AM
    Contact Women's Aid and see if they can give you advice.

    You say this man was an abuser, he is not about to start behaving like a reasonable person now, he is still controlling - the quicker you get right away from him and independent in all ways the sooner you will be able to start to rebuild your life.
    • SunnyCyprus
    • By SunnyCyprus 15th May 18, 7:40 AM
    • 72 Posts
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    SunnyCyprus
    • #3
    • 15th May 18, 7:40 AM
    • #3
    • 15th May 18, 7:40 AM
    My only response to this situation would be to find your nearest Women's Refuge, get out of the house and count your blessings.
    Why fight to stay somewhere that will only cause heartache and stress? Take what clothes you can and leave. Leave this 'man' behind and let him deal with his own rubbish.
    Good luck to you x
    If you want to do something, you will find a way.
    If you don't, then you will find an excuse...
    • CRANKY40
    • By CRANKY40 15th May 18, 8:09 AM
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    CRANKY40
    • #4
    • 15th May 18, 8:09 AM
    • #4
    • 15th May 18, 8:09 AM
    Don't give him any money direct either. There's no guarantee that he will pay it off the mortgage arrears. You'd be better using any money that you have as a rental deposit. You can do without the stress of wondering if you will have somewhere to live from month to month.
    Weight loss 2018 17 lbs

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    • pinkshoes
    • By pinkshoes 15th May 18, 9:20 AM
    • 16,073 Posts
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    pinkshoes
    • #5
    • 15th May 18, 9:20 AM
    • #5
    • 15th May 18, 9:20 AM
    If the mortgage is in his sole name, just pack your bags and walk away.

    As he has put in writing that he will be returning to the family home, take this along with the injunction to the council and ask them to house you.

    Also speak to womens aid.

    The safety of you and your child is far more important than a house. Walk away and let him deal with it.
    Should've = Should HAVE (not 'of')
    Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')

    No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)
    • mattpaint
    • By mattpaint 15th May 18, 12:42 PM
    • 235 Posts
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    mattpaint
    • #6
    • 15th May 18, 12:42 PM
    • #6
    • 15th May 18, 12:42 PM
    Leave the flat and him to deal with it. Flee and don't let him near you again. Your safety is more important than getting one over on him by keeping his flat.
    • Kynthia
    • By Kynthia 15th May 18, 12:55 PM
    • 5,347 Posts
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    Kynthia
    • #7
    • 15th May 18, 12:55 PM
    • #7
    • 15th May 18, 12:55 PM
    Hire credit isn't going to be affected by a repossession so leave it. He'll either pay the mortgage to save his credit or he won't. Start making plans to leave and not rely on him at all. However if you're more likely to get assistance with accomodation if you wait until bailiffs have a possession date then stay until that happens. Get advice from Women's Aid.
    Don't listen to me, I'm no expert!
    • TBagpuss
    • By TBagpuss 15th May 18, 2:55 PM
    • 6,903 Posts
    • 9,105 Thanks
    TBagpuss
    • #8
    • 15th May 18, 2:55 PM
    • #8
    • 15th May 18, 2:55 PM
    Have you spoken to the solicitor who helped you get the injunction?
    If the court ordered him to pay towards the mortgage and he didn't, then you could apply to enforce that part of the order. (and potentially to extend the injunction further)

    As the house is in his sole name, you will need to move on so I would suggest that you contact your local council about being rehoused, and start to look around for privately rented properties so you can move out at your own pace.

    If you were not married then you won't have any automatic claim against the house. if you are married, then the situation is different and you need to talk to a solicitor ASAP.
    • Masha
    • By Masha 16th May 18, 11:02 AM
    • 16 Posts
    • 5 Thanks
    Masha
    • #9
    • 16th May 18, 11:02 AM
    • #9
    • 16th May 18, 11:02 AM
    Thank you so much for your comments. This relationship has been strongly mental and emotionally controlling with a few not serious physical episodes. He has used any favor any permission from my side to try to arrange things calmly into doing a lot more damage to me and indirectly to his own child. Impossible, he has no word, no moral, no principles, no compassion, he could be so cruel. He has this personality that is called narcissistic.

    I made the injunctions myself, the judge was never interested in confronting evidence or so, was very permissive to my ex partner. he put late evidence which it was not true . My ex-partnet made appear himself as with no money to afford with debts that he intentionally took to send to his country, and so the judge did not order him any payments towards mortgage. Even I tried to appeal to the judge about the evidence presented. at any stage was a consideration of evidence of the actual abuse but that it was a risky environment for our child.

    I am currently seeing into legal aid mainly I want this in regards of child arrangements.

    I spoke with council. they said they could help when i am actually homeless in case repossession happens, but not if I walk on my own from the the house, as I have the right to be there, a less I am in serious situation of risk of domestic violence which is not my case as they believe; so because I am not in a serious circumstance the council cannot be of any help. emergency accomodation of this type is ussually into refuges outside of the city and the involveent of different agencies. very scary as I see it and read some about it too.
    I will be leaving the property in anyway on my own and will be claiming housing benefit. so I am preparing for it now.

    Thanks again...
    • Gavin83
    • By Gavin83 16th May 18, 11:33 AM
    • 5,464 Posts
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    Gavin83
    I'm getting conflicting information in here. Who actually owns the house? Did the judge order he needed to contribute towards the mortgage or not?

    If it's his house you won't be able to stay there long term. It's ridiculous the law can eject someone from their own property anyway, but that's another topic entirely. If it's not his house then he won't be expected to contribute towards the mortgage, why would he? Even if it's joint, while you might be entitled to stay there he won't be ordered to pay towards the mortgage forever and pay child maintenance, he needs to be able to support himself too. I'd expect in this situation they'd ultimately force a sale.
    • FBaby
    • By FBaby 16th May 18, 4:23 PM
    • 17,022 Posts
    • 41,943 Thanks
    FBaby
    So mortgage (and assume deeds) are in his name only, but the judge ordered that you pay half? Then you didn't pay your half, so your ex is saying that unless you do, he will get the place repossessed?

    It's messy. It is his house, so ultimately, you shouldn't have to contribute towards the mortgage at all, however, your ex could ask for you to pay rent... except that because he is your ex, HB wouldn't pay.

    I think the only way forward is for your ex to change the locks (in a perfect world inform you of his intentions), and you then can justify that you've been made homeless to your council.
    • thorsoak
    • By thorsoak 17th May 18, 5:17 PM
    • 5,771 Posts
    • 26,644 Thanks
    thorsoak
    Contact Womens Aid.
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