Struggling to be motivated after (very) early retirement

JennyP · 11 May 2018 at 4:44PM

I own up freely that I am not quite 49 but please don't kick me out of this forum!

I "retired" in December. Partly because hubby is older and has retired and I want to make the most of being with him. Partly because I get horrendous migraines that make work difficult. Was fed up of my boss's clipped tones when I called in sick!

I have loads of things that I want to do. I planned all sorts before I retired. Our house needs a lot of work which I could project manage. I have a talk to give that needs a lot of planning. I'm helping organise a local festival. I want to grow my own veg. I'm trying to get fit.... the list goes on.

But I am finding it hard to get motivated. It's so easy to wake up and have a lie in reading my kindle, facebook or even just browsing MSE. Before I know it, the day has gone.

Any tips on getting started? I suspect it is just a question of not being so lazy but I actually got more done when I was at work because I was more conscious of making the most of my free time.

Mojisola · 11 May 2018 at 4:49PM

JennyP wrote: »

I have loads of things that I want to do. I planned all sorts before I retired. Our house needs a lot of work which I could project manage. I have a talk to give that needs a lot of planning. I'm helping organise a local festival. I want to grow my own veg. I'm trying to get fit.... the list goes on.

But I am finding it hard to get motivated. It's so easy to wake up and have a lie in reading my kindle, facebook or even just browsing MSE. Before I know it, the day has gone.

Plan each evening and write down what you want to get done the next day - it can be hard to think of things when you're drifting; get the focus set up the day before.

JennyP · 11 May 2018 at 4:51PM

Mojisola wrote: »

Plan each evening and write down what you want to get done the next day - it can be hard to think of things when you're drifting; get the focus set up the day before.

That's a good idea. Even if we have some small event on or a visitor coming, I find it easier. It's the unstructured-ness of my time that's hard.

elsien · 11 May 2018 at 4:55PM

Are you my parent - she had a similar issue.
What worked for her was getting a routine going. Not picking up the paper till she'd done xyz. Getting up and going shopping/to the gym then doing one job off her list before getting the kindle out. Having a boring housework day on the same day each week.
She doesn't plan things every day, but found that if she didn't give herself some sort of structure then like you she drifted and got cross because she wasn't doing anything constructive. I found the same when I was made redundant- having a few fixed ish things to hang the week round seems to help.
You need to find the balance and structure that works for you. Parent' gym bunny routine only works because it's only 4 days a week, she also has the incentive of meeting her mates there and having a coffee and chat afterwards. But it gets her backside out of bed and she then does the jobs bs in the morning and gives herself permission to do what she likes in the afternoons without feeling like it's a waste.

NeilCr · 11 May 2018 at 6:04PM

Agree with elsien

I retired at 55. I made/make sure that most days I had/have somewhere to go. I joined the gym and book classes (now this is social as well as healthy as I made friends this way) that's three days "in the diary". And I started volunteering where there is a rota - another 1/2 days that I am committed. Then I fit other things round that and that gets me into a routine. I do the weekly shopping on another day, for example.

I tend to get things done in the morning like elsien's mum so I have a good chunk of the day left. See my partner when she is free, meet up with friends for lunch etc.

And Sunday is me day. Bottle of wine sprawled in front of Sky Sports!

JennyP · 11 May 2018 at 6:22PM

Thanks for your replies.

I think it probably doesn't help that we moved house straight after I gave up work so I'm 200 miles away from my usual social life, though we are making some new friends and I know a few people already in this area.

I need to make a plan the night before definitely. The weekend is pretty sorted as we have family things on but I think I'll make a plan on Sunday night for the week.

bugslet · 11 May 2018 at 6:45PM

I asked about retirement on another forum, and they all ended up saying how vital it was to have structure.

I think it's worth investigating what's on in your area, any clubs, classes, groups you can join, that way it gets you out doing something at a specific time and you make new friends.

NeilCr · 11 May 2018 at 7:06PM

bugslet wrote: »

I asked about retirement on another forum, and they all ended up saying how vital it was to have structure.

I think it's worth investigating what's on in your area, any clubs, classes, groups you can join, that way it gets you out doing something at a specific time and you make new friends.

Yes. Agree.

Pretty much everyone I know who is retired (and that's quite a few folks) have busy, active lives built around a structure. On the other hand my old boss is totally happy to potter.

I live on my own so not so sure how much different it is if you are part of a couple - especially if your OH is retired, too. Maybe how they are influences you! And may depend on whether you are used to doing things together or separately. One couple I know agreed that they would each get involved in their partner's favourite activity - that has worked really well.

Other couples go about their business quite separately - and do joint things as and when.

Shropshirelass · 11 May 2018 at 8:47PM

I retired at 60, 11 years ago. I could have carried on, but had two Aged Parents needing an eye kept, and was finding it all extremely stressful. Within a month one of them had died, so I had a lot more time than I expected.
As I had worked very awkward NHS shifts for the last few years before retiring, I decided I would now set definite routines, so wash, iron, shop, etc on the same days of the week. We make a point of keeping a proper Sunday now we can. I started volunteering one day a week with a national organization, and also made a list of things I wanted to do e.g. learn a certain craft, a language (improve my Welsh), sort garden, meet up regularly with cousins and old friends, eat out or tea/ coffee out with DH (we are lucky to live in an interesting part of the country).

After 10 years I am still finding it difficult to fit in everything I want to do, so my advice would be prioritise and get stuck in. I am now taking the time to keep a diary, which really helps with planning wish I had done it 50 years ago! I researched planning and diary keeping - why not, I have time now! The popular thought is that retired people are cash poor and time rich, but I don't intend to waste either.

Well done for taking the plunge, enjoy it.! You will have different priorities, so tackle them in your own order.

moneyistooshorttomention · 12 May 2018 at 1:03PM

Still a work in progress here.

I retired about 5 years ago now and then pretty promptly moved elsewhere in the country.

Spent a LOT of time initially on renovating the house - rather longer than it should have taken in fact - and that delayed having to think through what's what and that there is a lot less to do here.

So I agree with the structure comment. I don't always stick to it - but it gives a framework to work around.

Housework is something I've always hated and I "design" my home to minimise what has to be done. So I've worked out that if I have a housework routine that helps to a fair extent to ensure I actually do said housework.

So it goes:
Monday - part of the kitchen
Tuesday - rest of kitchen

and so on and I can usually keep at it if I know I am not due to do more than 30-60 minutes a day of it.

I've got a regular volunteering slot and my dancing hobby (which is weekly class - though not holiday period in this part of the country:() and there are various offshoots from that. I've got another thing in mind I think I'll fancy as a "regular" and will have a go at that soon.

Gradually working my way into adding into a daily routine:
- reasonable length walk or home exercise session
- yoga session (will have to be a home one for the time being - until such time as someone starts up a suitable yoga class here)

Gardening and cooking are also hobbies of mine (must plant up some vegetable seeds I've never heard of this afternoon for instance). I keep up-to-date with the changing way we eat in this country - so there's quite a lot of experimenting re cooking to do still.

Planning to investigate the possibility of classes to brush up my schoolgirl French soon - one way to meet more people and should help give the brain a bit of exercise. I can't think of anywhere round here I can actually use the French - but I think it would be nice to have a sense of achievement and maybe take exams to prove it...

mr.wendal · 12 May 2018 at 3:47PM

Hi there. BTW I dont think its ever too young to retire!

If you were under a lot of pressure for a while at work then perhaps you have needed a few months of doing nothing, so dont be too hard on yourself.

I am luck where I live as there are lots of cheap or even free daytime activities. Dont be put off if they are advertised as over 50 from my experience thats just a guide and we can sometimes have shift workers or anyone free in the daytime.

Check out last any local walking or cycling groups many of these cater for newbies.
Is there a U3A nearby?

If you join just one group you will find yourself dragged along to loads more activities by people you meet.

But if like me you also have a long reading list its ok to just get on with that.

Its up to you to do whatever you want to.

Struggling to be motivated after (very) early retirement

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