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Scared of my Bosses driving...how to say no?
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OP - I know your anguish! I only passed my driving test aged 42 so had to rely a lot on colleagues and bosses to get to business meetings.
One of my managers drove extremely quickly, but other-wise safely. We once had to go round the NE quadrant of the M25 in torrential rain and at dusk. We were quick. I was used to his driving and was confident in his ability, but we had two other colleagues in the back too. Colleague 3 later told me that colleague 4 had sat white-knuckled throughout the journey and was trembling.
Stupidly (and to my shame) I never mentioned it. I know I could have done (he was an excellent manager and always listened to concerns) but I didn't have the guts to do so. But it did encourage me to pass the test and drive myself. I think that's what you need to do.
BTW - I did have enormous confidence in his driving ability. I once had to beg him to give me lift back from a meeting because the colleague who'd driven me there had scared me so much!
And last year my elderly BiL refused to get back into our car for a return journey because he thought my wife had driven there too quickly. I had to drive us back...0 -
It's not the refusal which causes offence, but your explanation of why you're refusing. So don't explain. Simply say:
"thanks for the offer of the lift, but it's OK, I'll get myself there".
Say that.
Only that.
And nothing more.
Then shut up.
...It's only difficult if you make it so.0 -
I do think this is unlikely. I suspect the OP is a buyer so can't choose to go up seperately to their bossReadingTim wrote: »It's not the refusal which causes offence, but your explanation of why you're refusing. So don't explain. Simply say:
"thanks for the offer of the lift, but it's OK, I'll get myself there".
Say that.
Only that.
And nothing more.
Then shut up.
...It's only difficult if you make it so.Don't trust a forum for advice. Get proper paid advice. Any advice given should always be checked0 -
I had a manager who screamed - yes screamed - everytime she had to overtake a lorry or if she was on a small road and a lorry passed her coming the other way.
I didn't drive then, but the next time we had to do to a site together i took three trains and a bus,the inconvenience and cost was better than the damage to my nerves.
That woman scared the crap out of me, She hated driving, lorries, roundabouts, hill starts driving where she didn't know. left no braking distance was hopeless at checking her mirrors and blind spots. Couldn't park for toffee.
My father while is a confident driver he's also unnecessarily aggressive.He will cut people up, drive down a past a queue then force his car in. he will pull up in the wrong marked lane on a roundabout then cut across. He also refuses to abstain from smoking because its 'his damn car' I refuse to get in a car with the man and many a huge family argument has ben had over this, but nope. won't do it.Please note I have a cognitive disability - as such my wording can be a bit off, muddled, misspelt or in some cases i can miss out some words totally...0 -
Takeaway_Addict wrote: »I do think this is unlikely. I suspect the OP is a buyer so can't choose to go up seperately to their boss
Personally, I suspect the OP has confidence and/or assertiveness issues, which manifest themselves both in terms of the timidness with which they frame their problem (" i'd really hurt their feelings (dent their pride), and make things awkward") and their assessment of their boss's driving - how they can judge whether someone drives
"too fast, too close and changing lanes to sharply, barely missing numerous cars" if "I had my eyes closed for most of the journey" is beyond me...
So, they must either stand up for themselves and refuse, or deal with it. But attempting to objectively justify why they subjectively feel the way they do will only cause problems for them, and is frankly on a hiding to nothing.
So, they need either to put up or shut up.0 -
Manxman_in_exile wrote: »And last year my elderly BiL refused to get back into our car for a return journey because he thought my wife had driven there too quickly. I had to drive us back...
No, you didn't have to drive back. You chose to drive back.
The BiL could have chosen to get home by himself if he didn't like how your wife drives. His choice.0 -
If you avoid it now, it'll happen again ... repeatedly.
You have to face the music now .... or forever fear the next event he's driving you to, knowing there'll be lots every year.
You have to just tell him ..... having already prepared your CV in case he takes offence and bins you. But do it else you'll hate and fear him and the job anyway.0 -
Sounds like he knows what he is doing, he drives every day yet turns up to work unharmed right. If its that bad, do what my mom does when I drive and sit in the back and play on your phone so you dont see the road.0
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Just say you have to visit a friend/family on the way home, so going to drive yourself. From the employers point of view though, you would probably not be able to claim mileage/travel expenses, as you have made the choice to make the journey yourself & presumably the reason the boss wanted you travelling together is to save the company money.
That may be the case for expenses from the employer, but if the travel is a requirement of your job, i. e your employe/role requires that you make the journey, then you will be able to claim tax relief from HMRC for the business journey. Even if you have made the choice to refuse a lift.
With HMRC its all down to whether the journey is required and therefore wholly, necessary, in the performance of your duties, and that an expense has been incurred.
How you make that necessary journey, or how much that journey costs is not a consideration.[SIZE=-1]To equate judgement and wisdom with occupation is at best . . . insulting.
[/SIZE]0 -
If driving is happening as part of work, they should have a risk assessment for it. It may be useful to read.But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,Had the whole of their cash in his care.
Lewis Carroll0
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