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Results: What should I ask for?

Trust her and just be a tenant paying rent

60.78% • 31 votes

Ask for equity in the house after paying a certain amount

15.69% • 8 votes

Ask for a Deed of Trust

23.53% • 12 votes

You may not vote on this poll

51 votes in total.

    • JJM236
    • By JJM236 4th Oct 17, 6:14 PM
    • 1Posts
    • 0Thanks
    Help! Girlfriend bought a house...
    • #1
    • 4th Oct 17, 6:14 PM
    Help! Girlfriend bought a house... 4th Oct 17 at 6:14 PM
    Hi guys,

    So my girlfriend of only one year who I do love has just bought a house in Central London.
    I currently pay £1200 a month rent and will be moving in with her next week when the purchase goes through.

    She has paid all of the deposit and the mortgage is £1450 a month meaning my rent goes all the way down to £725 PCM which I am of course happy about.

    The problems/ worries I have with it are:

    If I pay half of the mortgage for 10 years and then we break up/ she kicks me out I won't have any equity.
    I am the breadwinner so most likely will be paying for a lot of the repairs/ modifications to the house and back to the point above.

    I understand her side that I would be paying significantly more rent somewhere else and she has paid all of the deposit etc but I just wanted to get your guys opinion on it?

    One of my friends mentioned something like a deed of trust?

    Thank you so much!
Page 1
    • Pixie5740
    • By Pixie5740 4th Oct 17, 6:20 PM
    • 12,190 Posts
    • 17,219 Thanks
    • #2
    • 4th Oct 17, 6:20 PM
    • #2
    • 4th Oct 17, 6:20 PM
    Use the search function as this has been debated ad nauseam.
    • FBaby
    • By FBaby 4th Oct 17, 6:20 PM
    • 16,727 Posts
    • 41,343 Thanks
    • #3
    • 4th Oct 17, 6:20 PM
    • #3
    • 4th Oct 17, 6:20 PM
    No right or wrong response. You need to work things out between yourself in terms of what you feel is reasonable to both of you.

    My personal opinion is that it is fair enough that what you pay her to start with is the equivalent of contribution to bills. You can then save what you would have paid towards rent.

    This is to be reviewed in X time, so that either you both agree to more commitment, in which case, you can start talking about a deed of trust, your name going on the mortgage/deeds, marriage, or you decide that the relationship is going nowhere, and you are not happy paying her mortgage and therefore decide it is best to go your separate ways.
    • FBaby
    • By FBaby 4th Oct 17, 6:22 PM
    • 16,727 Posts
    • 41,343 Thanks
    • #4
    • 4th Oct 17, 6:22 PM
    • #4
    • 4th Oct 17, 6:22 PM
    One advice though is when you transfer her the money, do so with the heading of 'mortgage/bills' so that if indeed you somehow find yourself thrown out after 10 years when you are still paying but with no official commitment, you have a better chance in court (if you were to decide to go that route) convincing a judge that you were indeed contributing towards the payment of the mortgage. Keep all receipt and evidence of payment of any repairs (this is usually a lot easier to get back).
    • shortcrust
    • By shortcrust 4th Oct 17, 6:25 PM
    • 1,983 Posts
    • 2,947 Thanks
    • #5
    • 4th Oct 17, 6:25 PM
    • #5
    • 4th Oct 17, 6:25 PM
    She bought a place on her own rather than buying a place jointly with you and has talked about you paying rent. I think I know how a conversation about equity or a deed of trust would go.
    Last edited by shortcrust; 04-10-2017 at 8:33 PM.
    • gettingtheresometime
    • By gettingtheresometime 4th Oct 17, 6:29 PM
    • 3,720 Posts
    • 9,217 Thanks
    • #6
    • 4th Oct 17, 6:29 PM
    • #6
    • 4th Oct 17, 6:29 PM
    When you say you are the breadwinner do you actually mean you earn more than her?
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    • Browntoa
    • By Browntoa 4th Oct 17, 6:48 PM
    • 33,199 Posts
    • 39,148 Thanks
    • #7
    • 4th Oct 17, 6:48 PM
    • #7
    • 4th Oct 17, 6:48 PM
    Refuse to answer any thread with a pointless poll
    • glasgowdan
    • By glasgowdan 4th Oct 17, 6:51 PM
    • 2,895 Posts
    • 3,247 Thanks
    • #8
    • 4th Oct 17, 6:51 PM
    • #8
    • 4th Oct 17, 6:51 PM
    I think we need to know why she bought her own place before thinking what advice to give!
    • Doozergirl
    • By Doozergirl 4th Oct 17, 6:59 PM
    • 25,201 Posts
    • 68,808 Thanks
    • #9
    • 4th Oct 17, 6:59 PM
    • #9
    • 4th Oct 17, 6:59 PM
    I'd just pay the rent, put everything you save on your current rent into actual savings and then see what happens down the line. Her equity will be subsidising you to some degree. That savings pot is a great bonus and becomes either your own pot if you split or a pot for your joint future to go back against the mortgage.

    I think a deed of trust is taking the michael at this point in time. Let her celebrate her own success.

    If you commit and get married then it all comes out in the wash. If you choose to cohabit indefinitely then it might have to be broached but I'd give it a year to at least see that co-habiting works before you start demanding equity.

    Presumably you're not funding major renovations? A bit of maintenance isn't going to be massive. If you start funding major improvements then that's certainly time to talk.
    Last edited by Doozergirl; 04-10-2017 at 7:22 PM.
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    • goodwithsaving
    • By goodwithsaving 4th Oct 17, 7:02 PM
    • 825 Posts
    • 1,265 Thanks
    One year. That's nothing.
    If she can buy somewhere in C. London on her own, I wouldn't be seeking to take advantage. Good on her.
    Pay the rent, save the rest of what you would be paying on rent elsewhere. Be grateful of the reduction.
    Does she even know you want to pay for maintenance? If she has any sense, she will pay for it herself so you don't build any interest in the property.
    Every time you borrow money, you’re robbing your future self. –Nathan W. Morris
    • societys child
    • By societys child 4th Oct 17, 7:09 PM
    • 5,223 Posts
    • 5,772 Thanks
    societys child
    If she has any sense, she will pay for it herself so you don't build any interest in the property.
    Agree with this, especially as the OPs question appears to be, how much can I make out of this . .

    Can't vote in the poll as my answer isn't there.
    Last edited by societys child; 04-10-2017 at 7:12 PM.

    • DigForVictory
    • By DigForVictory 4th Oct 17, 7:10 PM
    • 7,819 Posts
    • 23,020 Thanks
    Well done her!
    Unless she has a concealed magic money tree, she had help & that you're talking rent suggests she may have been been gently advised to start with Just Rent.
    Save the difference, enjoy the opportunity & see how it goes. Try to fence off *any* of that money & you may loose flat, girlfriend & all...
    • Kynthia
    • By Kynthia 4th Oct 17, 7:12 PM
    • 5,149 Posts
    • 7,168 Thanks
    Why have you not discussed this before now? She has bought tge property on her own. Now you need to come to an agreement about whether you live there or not and if you do are you just paying a contribution and have no rights or equity or are you building a financial interest in the property? What happens if you break up, how is furniture being financed and owned, and will you be paying towards decorating and repairs? Then write it down so it's clear you both are on the same page.

    Clearly you aren't the breadwinner if you are not supporting her financially, and if she's buying a house without you then she sounds financially independant. You may however earn more than her.
    Don't listen to me, I'm no expert!
    • BrassicWoman
    • By BrassicWoman 4th Oct 17, 7:15 PM
    • 1,635 Posts
    • 6,779 Thanks
    does she have a current lodger you are replacing?
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    • seashore22
    • By seashore22 4th Oct 17, 7:27 PM
    • 1,040 Posts
    • 2,270 Thanks
    Polls for things like this are bloody stupid.

    She's bought a house in central London, but you are the breadwinner?
    • C_Mababejive
    • By C_Mababejive 4th Oct 17, 7:31 PM
    • 10,461 Posts
    • 9,429 Thanks
    She is just using you to help pay for her house. Dont even go there and dont move in.
    Feudal Britain needs land reform. 70% of the land is "owned" by 1 % of the population and at least 50% is unregistered (inherited by landed gentry). Thats why your slave box costs so much..
    • PasturesNew
    • By PasturesNew 4th Oct 17, 7:31 PM
    • 62,818 Posts
    • 368,061 Thanks
    The trouble here is you've moved in with a new girlfriend and it could go either way ...... best thing is for you to just pay her some money each month and thank your lucky stars you've saved on rent and getting to/from hers to visit her.

    Meanwhile, bank the difference in a savings account. If you decide it's not working out you've got your "walking fund" - and if you decide to move/buy together you've got money to bring to the party.

    If she chucks you out in 10 years and you've not married her .... then you'll have saved yourself all the insecurity of renting, fees, moving, etc for 10 years.... so just shuffle off with your "walking money" and think "I should've worked harder at that and/or walked myself 7 years ago".
    • emmatthews
    • By emmatthews 4th Oct 17, 7:32 PM
    • 650 Posts
    • 1,272 Thanks
    You pay rent elsewhere without expecting to accrue equity, why is this different? You are now going to be paying significantly less rent but still want the deal to be better by benefitting further if you split?

    If you want to benefit from any rises in the housing market then buy your own place.
    • rosyw
    • By rosyw 4th Oct 17, 8:00 PM
    • 501 Posts
    • 784 Thanks
    So - you say you are the breadwinner, yet somehow your girlfriend has managed to earn enough to save the full deposit on a house in central London, and also get a mortgage one her own. Something doesn't add up. Just pay the rent and be grateful for the amount you'll save.

    Would you be demanding a share of her car because you borrowed it put petrol in , few times?

    Why do people get so damned greedy when it comes to houses?? If you want a house, go buy your own!
    • HampshireH
    • By HampshireH 4th Oct 17, 8:42 PM
    • 710 Posts
    • 751 Thanks
    She is just using you to help pay for her house. Dont even go there and dont move in.
    Originally posted by C_Mababejive opposed to her saving him a significant amount a month in rent, council tax and bills.....
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