In secret debt and clueless

NoraPatterson82 · 30 May 2017 at 1:35PM

Hi all. Is it worth applying for a balance transfer credit card if I'm a stay at home mum with no personal income? I'm here because I'm finally facing up to the £4000 of secret credit card debt I've slowly accrued since becoming a stay at home mum 3 years ago. Even if I'm eligible would a balance transfer card offer me such a large amount as £4000 when I don't have a paid job?

My husband doesn't know about the debt and I feel ashamed and embarrassed as haven't been bad with money before this

I vowed to myself to stop using it six months ago and stuck to my promise and I have a direct debit for the minimum payment and always make it (I use the family tax credits to pay it

but I'm realising interest is so high I'll end up paying off 8000 not 4000: ouch!

We've recently come into a little bit of inheritance on my husbands side and I wonder if I need to come clean and suggest we use it to pay off my card, though that also seems a
bit selfish of me as it was put aside for house refurbishments to benefit our family

A balance transfer seems ideal to give me some breathing space or am I being naive?

Can't believe I let myself get into this mess

Advice/ wisdom gratefully received thanks

OneLife_OneShot · 30 May 2017 at 1:43PM

I am not overly sure but without a job I can not seem them going for it.

sourcrates · 30 May 2017 at 1:43PM

Hi,

Your been naive.

Balance transfers are just sticking plasters on the real problem, you are in debt, and you can't afford to repay it at the current rate.

Plus you have no income.

Cut straight to the chase, write and tell the CC company you are in financial trouble, ask them to stop/suspend interest, is this your only debt ?

That's the only real option open to you, don't waste time messing about with sticking plasters, get the interest stopped, and get it paid off.

SilliSaug · 30 May 2017 at 1:53PM

Your story sounds like me in the beginning. Stay at home mum and balance transfers. I wish I had of stopped when I was £4000 in debt. Now I'm not saying you would do the same, but when you balance transfer and have less of a minimum payment and an unexpected extra crops up it is more than tempting to use the cc. For me, fastforward about 10 years and I have just recently got help from Stepchange for Debts of £20000. All without my husbands knowledge. Sort it now that you have had your 'light bulb moment'.:(

NoraPatterson82 · 30 May 2017 at 2:13PM

sourcrates wrote: »

Hi,

Your been naive.

Balance transfers are just sticking plasters on the real problem, you are in debt, and you can't afford to repay it at the current rate.

Plus you have no income.

Cut straight to the chase, write and tell the CC company you are in financial trouble, ask them to stop/suspend interest, is this your only debt ?

That's the only real option open to you, don't waste time messing about with sticking plasters, get the interest stopped, and get it paid off.

Thanks I gues I figured the balance transfer was the only way of stopping the interest? I feel in control regarding not using the card anymore but the interest makes paying it off seem impossible. If it's sometimes possible to stop interest by talking to the provider I'll give it a go!

NoraPatterson82 · 30 May 2017 at 2:15PM

Ps yeah it's my only debt - thank fully!

sourcrates · 30 May 2017 at 2:21PM

NoraPatterson82 wrote: »

Thanks I gues I figured the balance transfer was the only way of stopping the interest? I feel in control regarding not using the card anymore but the interest makes paying it off seem impossible. If it's sometimes possible to stop interest by talking to the provider I'll give it a go!

Template letter to freeze interest available here :

https://www.nationaldebtline.org/EW/sampleletters/Pages/Freeze-interest-%28sole-name%29.aspx

If they refuse, be persistent.

NoraPatterson82 · 30 May 2017 at 2:24PM

Thanks yeah I have to say there's been a couple of times I've sworn off using it then something happens and I find myself "just" buying this or that - not since I finally got a reality check thankfully but I know as practical and necessary as those purchases seem at the time it's just emotional purchasing really and a way of giving myself a false sense of financial independence. Thanks for the words of warning - I'm glad you've found the help you needed xx

National_Debtline · 30 May 2017 at 2:46PM

Hi NoraPatterson82,

You can talk to the lender and see if they will help, but they may suggest the account has to 'default' before they will freeze interest and you need to check if this is necessary with a SOA. If you cannot maintain the minimum payments then write and negotiate with the lender to pay what you can and freeze the interest. But remember, this will be damaging to your credit file and the creditor can enforce the debt once the contract is broken as well.

I would not want to influence your decision about whether to tell your OH or not (as that has to be your decision), so one other thing to bear in mind is the influence of your credit file on his. If you have a financial association which is anything in joint names (like a bank account or mortgage) then your credit files are linked and your history can influence his credit worthiness. Just something to bear in mind,

Laura
@natdebtline

Profligate · 30 May 2017 at 6:48PM

Hi Nora

Looking at this from another angle...
Don't feel you have to answer this here if you don't wish to, but I wonder if you're a SAHM, looking after your & your husband's child(ren), do you have access to sufficient money for you to spend as you need to?

Is the family income distributed fairly - do you have enough to pay bills etc, and a similar amount of disposable income as your husband?

If everything's split fairly, good,...but sometimes the partner who is at home looking after the kids has access to less money as they feel somehow they've not earned it so shouldn't have it. (But of course, providing free childcare frees the 'earner' to go out and earn!)

With you saying you have no 'personal income', and that you used to be good with money and this hasn't happened before, I'm reading between the lines, I think...of course I could be completely on the wrong track, so feel free to ignore this if I am!

Chrysalis · 30 May 2017 at 6:52PM

you can get credit cards without a job, but they not good one's

You would be looking at a low limit high interest card, 0% I would consider very unlikely.

So with your situation then I dont know what to advise, as I expect you havent got the means to pay off the card quickly meaning lots of interest to pay. I would at the very least stop using the card(s), unless for an absolute emergency.

In secret debt and clueless

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