In secret debt and clueless

enthusiasticsaver

If the debt was incurred buying things for the house or your child or even just for you this is on your husband as much as you if you don't have access to general household money. If this is the case I would be looking to go back to work if I were you as having no access to funds is unsustainable.

[Deleted User]

i think your best option is to tell your OH, perhaps some of the money he's come into could be used to pay off some of your debt, whatever you do cut your cc in half so you can't use it again, and maybe between you have a look at your household budget.
Good luck

takman

It is absolutely essential that you sit down with your husband and discuss the household finances with him. If you are needing to making purchases that have gotten you into £4000 of debt then there is a serious budget problem in your household.

You need to sit down with him and work out a budget together to pay for all the essentials and also build up an emergency fund.

But this isn't just your problem, it's also his for allowing this to happen. Both people in a marriage should have equal say and understanding of the household financial situation.

davidwood123

takman wrote: »

It is absolutely essential that you sit down with your husband and discuss the household finances with him. If you are needing to making purchases that have gotten you into £4000 of debt then there is a serious budget problem in your household.

You need to sit down with him and work out a budget together to pay for all the essentials and also build up an emergency fund.

But this isn't just your problem, it's also his for allowing this to happen. Both people in a marriage should have equal say and understanding of the household financial situation.

Give me a break. If your partner gets into debt and doesn't tell you about it, it's not your fault

takman

davidwood123 wrote: »

Give me a break. If your partner gets into debt and doesn't tell you about it, it's not your fault

They are both to blame because they obviously have a relationship where they don't talk about money enough and don't discuss their financial situation.

If they had sat down together even once a month to discuss how much money they had in what accounts. Decided on a budget and discussed what money needed to be spent and made sure they had enough. Then I can almost guarantee her husband would know all about the debt and it probably wouldn't have got to that level.

Even if they had got together just once a year and looked at their credit reports to check their financial situation her husband would have know about the debt.

When two people are living together in a relationship then they should do the household finances together to work out the best way to spend/save their money. If one person in that relationship isn't interested and doesn't make the effort to do this then are atleast partially liable for letting the other person get into financial difficulties.

bobcat2

sourcrates wrote: »

Hi,

Your been naive.

Balance transfers are just sticking plasters on the real problem, you are in debt, and you can't afford to repay it at the current rate.

Plus you have no income.

Cut straight to the chase, write and tell the CC company you are in financial trouble, ask them to stop/suspend interest, is this your only debt ?

That's the only real option open to you, don't waste time messing about with sticking plasters, get the interest stopped, and get it paid off.

sourcrates wrote: »

Hi,

Your been naive.

Balance transfers are just sticking plasters on the real problem, you are in debt, and you can't afford to repay it at the current rate.

Plus you have no income.

Cut straight to the chase, write and tell the CC company you are in financial trouble, ask them to stop/suspend interest, is this your only debt ?

That's the only real option open to you, don't waste time messing about with sticking plasters, get the interest stopped, and get it paid off.

The chances of the card company freezing the interest on a card without defaulting on it are pretty slim in my opinion. Why would you advise someone to default on a debt that they are currently managing to pay without knowing the full details of their circumstances and when that could have a really negative impact on their family down the line, esxpecially if there is financial link between them????
The likely result of the OP taking your advice is a completely trashed credit file over relatively small amount of debt. Why would you reccomend this as the only option?? They've stated that they've accumulated the debt over 3 years of being a stay at home parent so there's a strong possibility that when kids reach school age they will be able to have an income and be able to get the debt repaid comfortably in a reasonable period.
You say that balance transfers are a sticking plaster but that's just nonsense, if they were able to get a good balance transfer offer, which they may be able to based on their whole household income they would pay a minimum amount of £40 ish a month and give some breathing space to get it repaid.
It seems that your only advice to helping people get debt free is reccomending a course of action that results in a trashed credit file so they can't borrow again and for the foreseeable future, when you have no real idea of their exact circumstances!
The debt still needs to be repaid even if the interest is frozen. When the OP has stated that the household has some inheritance money why would you go straight ahead an reccomend they do something that may cause them to default in a debt unnecessarily?? Telling someone that's the only real option is utter nonsense and to be honest it makes me quite angry.