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  • FIRST POST
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    • 1,223Posts
    • 4,625Thanks
    debtaghh
    I want to stop drowning
    • #1
    • 27th Jul 16, 10:00 AM
    I want to stop drowning 27th Jul 16 at 10:00 AM
    Hi,

    I am not sure where to start or what I want from this but here goes ...

    We are in major debt and things seem to be getting worse, I have been looking at this site for years and know there is no point me posting my soa as we literally can't cut back any more e.g

    food shop for fam of 5 240- if you can help me reduce this then that would be great. I shop at Aldi, Lidl etc and have most shops locally.
    We just got rid of sky and have reduced mobiles, gas etc.

    We can't do an iva or dmp etc as we are in rented accomadation and I know estate agents can use guarantors etc but we don't have one plus they are not that keen as I have mentioned it before to them. Where we live , it's really hard to rent as there are limited properties and having bad credit would just go against us which we really can't do.

    Our biggest issues are that I do things that I end up regretting e.g booking holidays in the uk which still add up, book parties for the kids etc. I don't know how we got into so much debt but assume it must be down to this and i've never been on a good salary. My business has been hit badly and never recovered. I'm currently looking for a part time job but can't see this happening soon as I need it to be enough salary to cover childcare for my baby. My husband is on a good salary but works shifts which means I can't rely on him for childcare help and we don't have any family that can help us. I've tried working for direct selling companies and sell things on music magpie, ebay and gumtree ( I literally have nothing else to sell). I use cashbaack sites too and did do surverys but never seem to be eligible but will stary back with that- any recommendations for good ones? Or any ideas of making more money from home?

    We are due to go away soon and I would love to have advice on how we can save money on food whilst staying at a hotel, I thought I will bring snacks from home and croissants, drink cartons for breakfast but don't want to be speending loads on lunch and dinners.

    I also feel pressure from my family when it comes to birthdays and christmas time with regards to buying expensive pressies. We have a holiday booked at christmas too ( I know not ideal).

    I supoose I'm writng this to start afresh as I can't carry on like this anymore. I am severly depressed and wake up exhausted every day and have no motivation to do anything. I feel like we are drowing in debt. I am currently receiving cbt but in all honesty the crux of the situation is the debt is the issue. I'm sick of having regrets and living life like this so fingers crossed to new me, it' going to take years but here goes.....
Page 54
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 14th Feb 18, 7:30 AM
    • 6,385 Posts
    • 13,110 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    I was asked to change my password last week and then again yesterday which is very annoying. There is a thread on site feedback about it. Apparently they are working on it. 3k deposit!! How long have you got to save that up?
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 14th Feb 18, 7:36 AM
    • 1,223 Posts
    • 4,625 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I was asked to change my password last week and then again yesterday which is very annoying. There is a thread on site feedback about it. Apparently they are working on it. 3k deposit!! How long have you got to save that up?
    Originally posted by enthusiasticsaver
    That's exactly what happened to me, I was asked last week and again today.

    It will be approx 3k as we will need one month and a half rent as a deposit plus one months rent in advance. We do have a deposit for the house we currently live in but won't get that back until we move out. We thankfully have until July as our landlord was being nice giving us double the time he needs to. Although there are currently no suitable properties available.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc 49,987- family 37,561: total debt 87549

    Current debt: Cc 44,810 , Family 39,417 total debt 84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- 8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 14th Feb 18, 7:48 AM
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    enthusiasticsaver
    5 months is a decent amount of time to get that together But still a lot of money. I remember your rent is high, one of the reasons for the debt I suspect. Is moving to a cheaper area an option? Your daughter is about to finish this year isn't she? I assume your DS is at primary school? Not ideal to move him but in the long run considering your financial difficulties that may be the best thing. July would be the end of a school year.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 14th Feb 18, 8:02 AM
    • 1,223 Posts
    • 4,625 Thanks
    debtaghh
    We have looked at other areas about half an hour away and they are only 100/150 cheaper but my dh would then have more travel costs as he already has to travel to work therefore we don't feel it will be a saving.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc 49,987- family 37,561: total debt 87549

    Current debt: Cc 44,810 , Family 39,417 total debt 84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- 8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 14th Feb 18, 8:12 AM
    • 6,385 Posts
    • 13,110 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    No, you have to balance out the travel costs against the cheaper rent and disruption of kids moving schools. 100 to 150 is not a massive saving if your DHs travel costs and time increase. Hope something comes up that is suitable and within budget. At least eventually you will get your deposit back on your existing property. Can you ask your family to suspend payments on the family loan until August then give them your deposit when it is returned?
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 14th Feb 18, 8:35 AM
    • 1,223 Posts
    • 4,625 Thanks
    debtaghh
    That's a good idea, I'll ask them, thanks.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc 49,987- family 37,561: total debt 87549

    Current debt: Cc 44,810 , Family 39,417 total debt 84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- 8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 15th Feb 18, 6:17 AM
    • 1,223 Posts
    • 4,625 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I made about 80 yesterday which I'm pleased with. I also made a small 10 sale.... all adds up.

    My focus is to save as much as possible from now until June as well as clear the Nuba ( deal ends then anyway). I just need lots of money coming in and not going out!

    I'm going away for a few days and don't think I'll have good WiFi so have a good next few days everyone.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc 49,987- family 37,561: total debt 87549

    Current debt: Cc 44,810 , Family 39,417 total debt 84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- 8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 16th Feb 18, 11:43 AM
    • 1,223 Posts
    • 4,625 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Hi,

    I've made a few sales so have put 10 in savings and paid another 40 off the Nuba ... it's nearly under the 1k mark!
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc 49,987- family 37,561: total debt 87549

    Current debt: Cc 44,810 , Family 39,417 total debt 84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- 8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 16th Feb 18, 12:14 PM
    • 6,385 Posts
    • 13,110 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Fantastic. Well done. Hope you enjoying your few days away.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 18th Feb 18, 8:42 AM
    • 1,223 Posts
    • 4,625 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Hi,

    I had a lovely break away but did slightly overspend. I'm not going to feel bad though as I will just have to be extra frugal from now on due to the move. It gave me time to not think about our problems. I did and still do have a sore throat.

    Dh gets paid on Tuesday which is when I'll pay all minimums and meal plan. Dh has asked for overtime around Easter which will be 200 extra but we are not sure if he will get it. I will clear the Nuba by June and I will save at least 1k!

    My parents said no to the delaying their payments.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc 49,987- family 37,561: total debt 87549

    Current debt: Cc 44,810 , Family 39,417 total debt 84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- 8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 18th Feb 18, 8:45 AM
    • 1,788 Posts
    • 10,775 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    Good to hear you had an enjoyable break . Sorry that your parents said no to delaying debt repayments.

    When you have moved , will you be more willing to do a DMP for the debt that is not family debt ? As your rent is going to rise isn't it ?
    CC1 3655 April 2018.
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 18th Feb 18, 8:51 AM
    • 1,223 Posts
    • 4,625 Thanks
    debtaghh
    I can't do a dmp as will affect our credit and there is a major shortage of houses. We are hoping to be able to reduce our minimums by being extra frugal from now until we have to move so if we do end up paying more rent we won't feel it.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc 49,987- family 37,561: total debt 87549

    Current debt: Cc 44,810 , Family 39,417 total debt 84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- 8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 18th Feb 18, 5:29 PM
    • 6,385 Posts
    • 13,110 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    I don't think a DMP will help anyway as a major part of the debt is family debt which will not be accounted for. That will mean that savings will have to be made elsewhere in the budget to rake up the family payments if your parents wont wait. Sorry they cant delay it ?

    Good luck with the continuing to be frugal. Glad you had a nice break anyway for your sanity. Look forward to seeing that NUBA gone in June hopefully and good luck with the house search. At least you have until June or July to sort it. My advice - declutter and ebay as much as possible. Will raise money and less stuff to move.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 18th Feb 18, 5:46 PM
    • 1,223 Posts
    • 4,625 Thanks
    debtaghh
    My parents aren't very helpful when it's comes to things like waiting.

    The day we were given our notice I started decluttering and listed five items and have sold two already. Once the kids are back to school , I will be listing more as will need to raise the funds.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc 49,987- family 37,561: total debt 87549

    Current debt: Cc 44,810 , Family 39,417 total debt 84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- 8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 18th Feb 18, 6:03 PM
    • 6,385 Posts
    • 13,110 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Good start. Have you got any baby stuff - that always sells well? Unless you planning on more kids

    I had a discussion with TOPM the other day on parental loans. We have gifted a lot to our DDs as we can afford it and I know it is a struggle when you are young and have kids. I would not want them to have the stress of paying it back. My mum did this too with us. To be fair though the gifts were always used with us either to do home improvements, holidays and overpaying the mortgage. The nice to do things but we could have done without them. Now I understand not all parents can afford to gift and your amount outstanding is huge so I guess that is accrued over many years. It seems to me though that the pressure of parental debt is as bad as commercial borrowing although granted it is usually at 0%. It must weigh heavy on your relationships with them too though. How would they react if you told them you literally cannot afford to pay them if the rent is much higher than your existing rent and you have no choice but to go on to a DMP. Do they rely on your repayments? I know it is not nice to think about defaulting on a family debt but at some point it may have to be considered.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 18th Feb 18, 6:12 PM
    • 1,223 Posts
    • 4,625 Thanks
    debtaghh
    To be honest we have sold what we don't use already but think
    the high chair can go.

    My parents are very stressful and would make my life s living hell if I didn't pay them had they not agreed it. They are not loaded but have no debt and lots of savings but they worry about when they get older.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc 49,987- family 37,561: total debt 87549

    Current debt: Cc 44,810 , Family 39,417 total debt 84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- 8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 18th Feb 18, 9:04 PM
    • 6,385 Posts
    • 13,110 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    I am sorry that they are not more understanding but I guess if the arrangement was for you to repay them you can't blame them too much. Hopefully by July the minimums will have gone down sufficiently for you to pay the extra rent. Or you may be working by then.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 20th Feb 18, 7:49 AM
    • 1,223 Posts
    • 4,625 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Morning,

    I've made most my minimum payments and have got the Nuba just under 1k. I have 2500 in savings so am wondering if I should just clear the Nuba and then focus on saving for the move rather than trying to do both. Plus if we get credit searched in a month or so we would have less credit available as we can close the Nuba down?
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc 49,987- family 37,561: total debt 87549

    Current debt: Cc 44,810 , Family 39,417 total debt 84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- 8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 20th Feb 18, 8:10 AM
    • 6,385 Posts
    • 13,110 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    That is a difficult one to answer. My guess is that you may need a substantial deposit for your next property and as rents are high in your area that is more likely to be thousands rather than hundreds. For that reason I would continue bringing the cards down as much as possible focusing on one at a time but I don't think I would make a large dent in your savings to do it. With the amount of debt you have getting rid of one card will have little impact on any credit search. I don't think letting agents see full credit reports though. Someone told me they don't even see DMPs but asking on the house renting forum may be wise.

    This is quite naturally stressing you out and for your mental health I think I would focus on keeping your payments up to date and saving for the move. Once the move is over focus on the debt.
    Debt free and mortgage free and early retiree. Living the dream

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • debtaghh
    • By debtaghh 20th Feb 18, 8:23 AM
    • 1,223 Posts
    • 4,625 Thanks
    debtaghh
    Thanks. The problem is the Nuba has to go by June anyway. It has a 6k credit limit so I thought it would be good to get rid of that.
    Debt 16th October 2017: Cc 49,987- family 37,561: total debt 87549

    Current debt: Cc 44,810 , Family 39,417 total debt 84,227

    Frugal living challenge # 10- 8000 presents/ food/ entertainment/clothes/shoes/haircuts
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