Depression from work, please help?

Les79 · 24 June 2018 at 12:44PM

SmS1997 wrote: »

- If I engage a conversation with a customer, the managers starts yelling at me by saying things like !!!8220;why are you wasting time, just take the order and leave!!!8221; in front of the customers.

Simple solution = Don't engage with customers.

- I!!!8217;ve got 3 years experience working as a waiter so I know what exactly I need to do

On the contrary, it sounds like you don't have a clue what you need to do.

You need to do what your boss tells you to do.

but my manager keeps telling me what to do all the time, non-stop, all night even if I!!!8217;m doing something else, he goes like !!!8220;leave that and do this!!!8221;

That's very strange from someone who is there to MANAGE STAFF! #Sarcasm

and then blames me if I forget to do something,

Don't forget to do things then (I thought you had 3 years of experience, yet you are forgetting to do things?).

I obviously do if he asks me to do 10 things in like 10/15 minutes and again all that happens in front of the customers.

Yea, you might well forget one or two things if you are out of your depth but to be honest I'd expect a waiter to be good at multi tasking, so there is a fine line between the workload being excessive (same for everyone else?) and you not being able to hack it.

And this brakes our oral contractual agreement as we agreed on me doing things properly and by proving good customer service.

I hate it when people (more so students) don't know the difference between "break" and "brake". A pet peeve of mine that word.

But going back to your point.... what specifically did your manager say which suggests that your oral contract is broken (past participle of "break" btw) simply because your interpretation of good customer service and "doing things properly" was not forthcoming?

Your contract would have been to wait on tables and any other duties required in relation to that. If they have you scrubbing the toilets or cooking then fair enough, that could be a breach. But disagreeing with their way of running their own business is not strictly a breach of contract.

- if doing something he keeps telling me things like !!!8220;quicker, quicker!!!!8221; again in front of the customers.

Do it quicker then....

And he does all this because he got used to do this to my colleagues and uses them like slaves but they are too afraid to say or do anything for certain reasons. But I really get upset by what he does and I feel very humiliated which is giving me depression which is resulting in me being very depressed, even when I!!!8217;m not at work. If I leave this place as constructive dismissal, would I be able to receive job seekers allowance until I get another job? Or would they put me out of jsa for 26 weeks? I really need to have money in a weekly basis but my current place is giving so much discomfort and depression that I even had suicidal thoughts. Please help.

Ah you mentioned "suicidal thoughts". In that case, I would strongly recommend that you visit your GP and discuss that with them. Life is actually full of rubbish which springs up from time to time, and you are not the first person to have been put in a position like this. But if you are defaulting to the "suicidal thoughts" then, frankly, that is very concerning and suggests some underlying issue. It will probably also put you in a mindset which means that you will find it hard either to listen to constructive criticism (like my post) and/or high pressure jobs like the one you are currently in.

marliepanda · 24 June 2018 at 12:48PM

You need to realise that you chatting to customers at busy times can make the working environment for others stressful. Whilst you are chatting, they could be clearing all the tables and getting stressed because not enough people are helping.

There!!!8217;s a fine line between good service and causing extra work for your colleagues.

motorguy · 24 June 2018 at 1:42PM

SmS1997 wrote: »

Hello everyone, this is my first post so I hope to get help from you. I’m a 21 years old student who also works as a part time waiter in a restaurant (3 days a week) and I’ve been working there for 6 months until now. Before I started working there, I spoke with my manager who also is the boss and works at the front of the restaurant with me and my 6 colleagues and we agreed on what I would be doing while at work but problems raised right after I started working there, the place where I work is a really busy place and there’s a lot to do which I don’t mind doing but what I really hate is the manager’s attitude towards me:

- If I engage a conversation with a customer, the managers starts yelling at me by saying things like “why are you wasting time, just take the order and leave” in front of the customers.
- I’ve got 3 years experience working as a waiter so I know what exactly I need to do but my manager keeps telling me what to do all the time, non-stop, all night even if I’m doing something else, he goes like “leave that and do this” and then blames me if I forget to do something, I obviously do if he asks me to do 10 things in like 10/15 minutes and again all that happens in front of the customers. And this brakes our oral contractual agreement as we agreed on me doing things properly and by proving good customer service.
- if doing something he keeps telling me things like “quicker, quicker!” again in front of the customers.

And he does all this because he got used to do this to my colleagues and uses them like slaves but they are too afraid to say or do anything for certain reasons. But I really get upset by what he does and I feel very humiliated which is giving me depression which is resulting in me being very depressed, even when I’m not at work. If I leave this place as constructive dismissal, would I be able to receive job seekers allowance until I get another job? Or would they put me out of jsa for 26 weeks? I really need to have money in a weekly basis but my current place is giving so much discomfort and depression that I even had suicidal thoughts. Please help.

Do what everyone else does - find another job and leave to go to it.

Shouldnt be hard with 3 years experience.

xapprenticex · 24 June 2018 at 3:27PM

Sounds like a bully, id like to work under him, wouldnt last long as he'd probably sack me after our first confrontation

pb1973 · 24 June 2018 at 3:39PM

Another vote for "find another job". Whilst your Manager is wrong in his behaviour, there's plenty of work in your chosen field. It's only part time and based on what you've said, the working conditions anywhere else will be instantly 100% better.

Your current Manager won't change, but, if I may, the best thing you can do is become more pragmatic - If you don't like the situation you find yourself in, weight up the facts and then choose the path of least resistance to change it - Taking someone like him on is anything but that.

Good luck!

Fireflyaway · 24 June 2018 at 4:45PM

The positive in this is you are young and this isn't a full time job or a field that's hard to get into. You can easily find another job.
I quit my job last week due to stress. I think I would have been fired anyway but chose to not fight it because I didn't like it there and it was making me unhappy. I have a new job to go to. How I feel happy and positive. I sleep properly and don't drink every night like I was previously.
Your manager doesn't sound nice but I doubt he will change. In a perfect world you shouldn't have to leave but hey, you can do better! Don't sacrifice your health and happiness. Spend some effort looking for another job.

System · 25 June 2018 at 11:47AM

Get another job and use the excuse of the 18/19's timetable for your course that you are unable to commit to those days you currently work. Don't use this excuse if the days you work are Friday evening, Sat and Sun. Unless you finish at 11pm on Sunday and your first lecture etc is on Monday 9am

TELLIT01 · 25 June 2018 at 1:56PM

I would think that good waiting staff are in high demand. Look for another job and tell him to stick it where the sun doesn't shine. In the politest of terms obviously.