Depression from work, please help?

SmS1997

Hello everyone, this is my first post so I hope to get help from you. I’m a 21 years old student who also works as a part time waiter in a restaurant (3 days a week) and I’ve been working there for 6 months until now. Before I started working there, I spoke with my manager who also is the boss and works at the front of the restaurant with me and my 6 colleagues and we agreed on what I would be doing while at work but problems raised right after I started working there, the place where I work is a really busy place and there’s a lot to do which I don’t mind doing but what I really hate is the manager’s attitude towards me:

- If I engage a conversation with a customer, the managers starts yelling at me by saying things like “why are you wasting time, just take the order and leave” in front of the customers.
- I’ve got 3 years experience working as a waiter so I know what exactly I need to do but my manager keeps telling me what to do all the time, non-stop, all night even if I’m doing something else, he goes like “leave that and do this” and then blames me if I forget to do something, I obviously do if he asks me to do 10 things in like 10/15 minutes and again all that happens in front of the customers. And this brakes our oral contractual agreement as we agreed on me doing things properly and by proving good customer service.
- if doing something he keeps telling me things like “quicker, quicker!” again in front of the customers.

And he does all this because he got used to do this to my colleagues and uses them like slaves but they are too afraid to say or do anything for certain reasons. But I really get upset by what he does and I feel very humiliated which is giving me depression which is resulting in me being very depressed, even when I’m not at work. If I leave this place as constructive dismissal, would I be able to receive job seekers allowance until I get another job? Or would they put me out of jsa for 26 weeks? I really need to have money in a weekly basis but my current place is giving so much discomfort and depression that I even had suicidal thoughts. Please help.

darrrren

Hiya. I have had similar in work in the past but it was done in a more subtle way and slowly wore me down over the period. Not only is your manager a bully, he is totally unprofessional considering the positive is supposed to be in. With my situation there were a few people involved, and I eventually flipped my lid at one of the comments from the three of them one day and told them exactly what the crack was. It didn't stop !!!!!ing but it stopped anything direct to me from then on. Have you tried asking him to have a chat, maybe at the end of one of your shifts, and telling him how you feel? I'm guessing your manager is a young person on a power trip jidgiifrom the fact everyone else won't say anything. I've seen this in a few work places, bullies. I ended up at the doctors and I'm still on medication to this day but there are other ways. I will send you a pm I would like to try and help you. Just remember, it's not you that is the problem z it's the manager. Maybe if a few of you feel the same you could complain higher up?

Spendless

Your 2nd sentence states you are a student. That means you can't receive JSA as you will also be receiving a student loan. I'm guessing you're meaning you're at Uni doing a degree? If you're not if you can tell us what level you're studying and then others may be able to tell you what else applies to you and what you can/can't claim.

Personally I'd suggest looking for another part-time job.

LadyDee

Look for another job. With 3 years experience you shouldn't have too much trouble.

Wizard_of_Id

SmS1997 wrote: »

Hello everyone, this is my first post so I hope to get help from you. I’m a 21 years old student who also works as a part time waiter in a restaurant (3 days a week) and I’ve been working there for 6 months until now. Before I started working there, I spoke with my manager who also is the boss and works at the front of the restaurant with me and my 6 colleagues and we agreed on what I would be doing while at work but problems raised right after I started working there, the place where I work is a really busy place and there’s a lot to do which I don’t mind doing but what I really hate is the manager’s attitude towards me:

- If I engage a conversation with a customer, the managers starts yelling at me by saying things like “why are you wasting time, just take the order and leave” in front of the customers.
- I’ve got 3 years experience working as a waiter so I know what exactly I need to do but my manager keeps telling me what to do all the time, non-stop, all night even if I’m doing something else, he goes like “leave that and do this” and then blames me if I forget to do something, I obviously do if he asks me to do 10 things in like 10/15 minutes and again all that happens in front of the customers. And this brakes our oral contractual agreement as we agreed on me doing things properly and by proving good customer service.
- if doing something he keeps telling me things like “quicker, quicker!” again in front of the customers.

And he does all this because he got used to do this to my colleagues and uses them like slaves but they are too afraid to say or do anything for certain reasons. But I really get upset by what he does and I feel very humiliated which is giving me depression which is resulting in me being very depressed, even when I’m not at work. If I leave this place as constructive dismissal, would I be able to receive job seekers allowance until I get another job? Or would they put me out of jsa for 26 weeks? I really need to have money in a weekly basis but my current place is giving so much discomfort and depression that I even had suicidal thoughts. Please help.

sounds like you are not cut out for the high pressure position that you have put yourself in or it could be that your previous experience was in a more relaxed atmosphere.
You should get out of there as soon as you can before it really starts to affect your health and maybe get something that is not customer facing.

elsien

If you're going down the constructive dismissal route (which is stressful and time consuming in itself) you need evidence that you've tried to address the issues first - discussions with employer, grievance, that sort of thing.
I suspect from your OP that's not a conversation that you've had. And you'll get very little out of it for only 6 months employment even if you do win.

Your current workplace is clearly very busy. And regardless of how you worked in previous roles, if your employer doesn't want you to chat to customers then you don't do it, even if personally you consider it good practice. Your "oral agreement" when you started is by the by. He's the boss.

I'm with the others - move on and find another job.

sangie595

At six months service, you can't claim constructive unfair dismissal. And even if you could, you'd lose. Sorry, but your complaint, in a nutshell, is that your manager expects you to work hard, not chat, and do as you are told by him. Every single one of these things is legal! It may not be what you are used to. And it may not be a management style that you like. But I'm afraid that's tough luck. He isn't doing a single unlawful thing.

To be honest, he may not be the nicest person in the world, or the best manager, but if that is driving you to become suicidal, then you (a) need to speak to your doctor urgently, because that is a serious reaction to something that is not uncommon, and may be indicative of more serious issues, and (b) not work in high pressure environments - not everyone is suited to such environments, and obviously you are not.

And one last thing. "Good customer service" is determined by the employers standards. Not by yours. So there is no breach of contract, verbal or otherwise. The customers are the employers customers, and the service standards that they wish to achieve are determined by their relationship with the customers. They may not be right, but it is their right to be wrong!

silverwhistle

I don't know where in the country you are but around here experienced staff would be valued. It's a part-time job not your ultimate career (I presume) so it'll be easier to cut your losses.


How's the course going? I'd be much more concerned about that. You can always piece together part time work around your college commitments. Start looking!

[Deleted User]

Ask for a probation or one 2 one review? (if you haven't already had one)

A family member recently lost their job/offered another position within the business at the 12 weeks marker because they didn't fit in to the role offered, in the Manager's view at review time - so you see this can be turned on you.

Another had their 'bully' (if that is the right word, I would use it with great shivery caution!) boss go off on sick and then turn it on the staff easily. They came back alright!

You need to find another job if you cannot change anything. In the times we're in that shouldn't be to difficult. Busy places will always have less chat whether with customers or each other.

GothicStirling

You are a student, what are you doing over the summer? At home with your parents, or living in your university town? Basically I would make it my goal to find a new job over the summer/before the start of the new semester. A part-time job isn't worth get depressed over, and personally I wouldn't want to work somewhere were I couldn't have a little chat with customers - its called customer service! Wouldn't spend my money there either, its a restaurant not pay-at-pump.

Spendless

GothicStirling wrote: »

personally I wouldn't want to work somewhere were I couldn't have a little chat with customers - its called customer service! Wouldn't spend my money there either, its a restaurant not pay-at-pump.

This is very true too. There's a restaurant near me, where the food is fabulous but I won't go because the service is too bad, not because it's too slow but because it's too fast. You no sooner finish 1 course, then they're serving the next and want to hurry you out of the door as quick as you can. This applies on an earlier weekday night not just peak trading hours when it's more understandable.

Look for something else OP more suited to you. Fab cust service is what makes me return to a place. Someone being interested by talking to you as a person and not just taking an order contributes to that.

Good luck