Making a will
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To get the funeral nearest to what you want (as they will be able to make some changes) why not actually buy your funeral. Not a funeral plan which is just about the money, but the actual funeral.
This still only works if whoever takes on the task of arranging the funeral is aware of such an arrangement.0 -
I don't know why that would be so. I know we picked up each of the wills I've executed once we'd got the death certificate, before we'd even arranged the funeral. And since that's where a preference for cremation was expressed, rather than in a letter of wishes, that was helpful (although we did have a copy at the house).
There is no reason why you *can't* pick up a will very promptly, but often it is not the first thing on people's minds.
A lot of people associate wills with money and feel that it is inappropriate or might appear greedy to rush to get the will, and for a lot of people, the way they process their grif menas that they don'tfeel able to start thinking about those sorts of practical issues until after the funeral.
Of course, for others, being on top of all of the admin from day one and being as efficent as possible is a way of coping with the grief, so there is no right or wrong way, but it is very very common that people don't really start to think about the legal isues until the immeidate issues of the funeral are over.
Also, executors may not always know where the will is, or indeed who the executors are, until after someone has made a start at looking through the deceased's house.
Where executors don't live locally to where the person who died lived, or to where their will is held,there may also be delays in them making arrangmetns to collect a will, providing the necessary ID etc
Obviosuly it depends a lot on circumstances, and if you talk to your executors and make sure that they know (at least in general terms) what you want and where to find more detailed information about your wishes, it helps them to do as you want.All posts are my personal opinion, not formal advice Always get proper, professional advice (particularly about anything legal!)0 -
nom_de_plume wrote: »This still only works if whoever takes on the task of arranging the funeral is aware of such an arrangement.
I agree, so our plan is-
1) Will- broad direction of our wishes, also aware that timings and exact distribution of possessions depends entirely on a) does someone actually want it? and b) the executors give them it. On the whole as the assets will be split evenly four ways in the end it is up to them.
2) Letter expressing our wishes- making sure they are told verbally before the event and a letter is attached to the copies of our will.
3) Funeral- clear instructions of our wishes, including music told verbally and in the letter expressing our wishes. We are looking into pre-paying for our funerals as well as being able to help plan it which if the executirs wanted to they could decide otherwise; we will relieve them of concern for where is the money coming from to pay for it.
We feel that verbal instructions, written wishes and a will all may help guide but accept on death these may be varied by those left behind. If so we will not be here to argue and must accept it may happen. But we can't do much more so are not going to over worry about it!
In these thoughts and discussions I have learnt that when the time comes, I have a clearer idea of what my Mother wants, wife wants and Uncle wants.
We've approached this in a light-hearted way at a family level, so that each has been able to say what they do and do not really like.
My and my wife real concern is not so much the sharing of our possessions but that someone (or two) left behind, may delay parting with things as they can return to our home to morbidly sit and reflect or cry for a period of time that can last for years, all the while the house sits dark and wasted.CRV1963- Light bulb moment Sept 15- Planning the great escape- aka retirement!0 -
Yes, that makes sense, and I know one of my siblings was slightly upset that we made a start on house clearance fairly rapidly (possibly even with indecent haste to some minds!), BUT they understood that a) there was a lot to do and b) another sibling wanted to help, but could only easily do so if we cracked on!There is no reason why you *can't* pick up a will very promptly, but often it is not the first thing on people's minds.
A lot of people associate wills with money and feel that it is inappropriate or might appear greedy to rush to get the will, and for a lot of people, the way they process their grif menas that they don'tfeel able to start thinking about those sorts of practical issues until after the funeral.
In our case, it was at least partly a matter of practicality. The executors did not live locally to the deceased, but were there
around the time of death. I knew (or had as much of an idea as one can ever have!) of what was in the will, as I'd been shown copies when they were drawn up, but it was good to be sure ...Signature removed for peace of mind0 -
To get the funeral nearest to what you want (as they will be able to make some changes) why not actually buy your funeral. Not a funeral plan which is just about the money, but the actual funeral.
That wasn't our experience.
My parents specified what services they wanted and could have given a detailed plan of music and readings, etc, but preferred to leave that to us to choose.0
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