Lost Faith!!!!

FAITH_3 · 6 September 2005 at 11:55AM

Well there I was thinking i was going to get on top of things, its all gone wrong, the job I was starting turned out to be a waste of time, machine i was *supposed* to use, didnt even work (only one in the place) and could I see if I could make it work!!!!! Basically there cowboys, got a couple of application forms on there way for other jobs, so i know i will be working again.
Got my forms from CCCS, Ive never written everything down before like they ask on there, want to know every penny which is good, but we havent even got enough money to live on to buy food,petrol for the cars,I know 2 cars are a issue, but if you cant get to work, you cant earn money,ive been wracking my brains to see if we could get rid of one car, but since i shall be working 9-3 I need to drop daughter off at school, exceed the speed limit to get to work on time and when i leave.
We just dont earn enough,even when i do start work, it still isnt enough to cover basics.
Ive spent the last few days tearing my hair out trying to reduce cost, i have managed to knock alot off,its still not enough, weve gone from earning 50k a year to 20-25k
It just isnt adding up, i really dont know what to do, was going to fight this so hard, I will fight this, but is there a battle for me to win?

tattooed_lady · 6 September 2005 at 12:04PM

Hi Faith :wave:

I'm really sorry that things are not going too well for you at the moment and I hope things improve, contacting the CCCS is definately a brilliant start.

I don't want to stress you out any more than you already are but having myself completed a DMP with CCCS I seem to remember that there are guidelines that the creditors set that they deem as acceptable living expenses. I seem to remember that having 2 cars would be a problem - I could be wrong but I just wanted to pre warn you just in case. I know in your case it is a necessity. Best of luck

FAITH_3 · 6 September 2005 at 12:23PM

Thanks, I was keeping it together till I saw that little smiley wavey person, then floodgates opened!
I said to other half, it will be a prob, I will do anything to get out of this, its just not fair I have worked fulltime all my life, bar 6 months off to have my daughter, was made redundant at the beginning of the years, I just carried on using my CCs, loans for living expenses,dont even know where the dole office is,never signed on in my life, always paid me, way, but due to our lifestyle we did have, because we could affford it at the time, whats it been for, i might as well sat on my asrse claming off the dole, lived in a B&B for 6 weeks, get a council flat,live of the goverment and you hardworking people, WHAT IS THE POINT EH! I just give up, im 36 and got sweet fa to show for it, the house is gone, hence why we are renting,both in second relationships with eachother, we both got stuffed,i decided i didnt want to get blacklisted so i tried to pay the depts i had with ex, it was in joint names, so i took them on in mine, its all gone wrong, just dont know what to do, im too ole for this crap, ive had enough,just feel like ive left my daughter down, i had such a awful childhood, wanted the best for her, i know im a good mum, but just wanted everything for her, im sorry this is rambling on, ive always been the rock for everyone else, but none of my *mates* seem to give a damn when i need help, just look at me blankly!!!!!

FAITH_3 · 6 September 2005 at 12:41PM

Trying to cut down, I need to lose weight so, ive bought some Asdas ready meals, 5 for 3.50, couple of cans of baked beans, on toastill do me for the week, my daughters school has started to healthy jamie oliver meals at school £8.00 week at school,but at least i know she will eat well, she wont at home,god knows what im gonna do bout other half, he loses weight so easy . fast motabalism, needs a lot of food to keep weight on, hes wasting away atm, with worry ans all that, its pitefull to see, i feel so guilty.

Little_Miss_Winner · 6 September 2005 at 12:55PM

Deep Breath faith, You will hold it together I can assure you. Now get the forms out, and fill everything in that you spend. If there isn't enough coming in, let CCCS deal with it.

Spend the next hour filling in the forms, then ring them. Speak to them today and let them know your situation. Just be honest tell them you have filled the forms in, and they will go through it with you.

I bet you will sleep a lot easier when you have done it. I am sure it will be hard, but as already has been said, the hardest step was the first! Which you have already done.

Now you need to turn computer off, fill in forms, ring CCCS, and shall we say come back in an hour for an update?

What d'ya think?

pot

FAITH_3 · 6 September 2005 at 12:59PM

Ok, made me flippin cry again, not used to people being nice :A

tattooed_lady · 6 September 2005 at 1:01PM

Oh Faith :grouphug:

Listen, things will improve, once you start your DMP you will have a realistic amount to live on, that includes stuff like food and going out so you won't be so desperate and feel like you have no life.

You're still young

, there is plenty of time for you to think about improving stuff, eg buying house etc. Your daughter has a great role model in you as you are showing her that working hard and paying back your debts is the best way forward.

Take care x

Little_Miss_Winner · 6 September 2005 at 1:06PM

have you filled the forms in ???

Dammam · 6 September 2005 at 1:10PM

Doesn't seem a million miles away from where I was 5 or 6 years ago. You've done better than I did because it took me a lot longer to get my head out of the sand - so credit where it's due.
2 cars can only be an extravegance if they're not being put to use making money. If both you and OH need a car to go to work to bring in money, I can't see any level headed person seeing that as a problem.You also sound like you have your priorities spot on. First you look after yourselves - you have each other which is already a lot more than many have. Once you're all onboard and understand what you need to do, it'll get easier and easier the longer it goes on.
I was also the same about the job centre, but make sure you are claiming everything you are entitled to - you've worked for it and it's now there to help you out.
You may have been asked this previously but have you considered child minding / fostering etc? If the jobs aren't out there, then bring the jobs to you.

You can do it - a lot of people here have either come through this or are at various stages of the process, so we know it can be done.

Good luck, and keep popping in to let us know how well you're doing / vent your frustrations (the two often seem to happen in equal measures).

skintchick · 6 September 2005 at 1:28PM

Your friends sound a bit rubbish, but if you;'re like me then you've always been the strong one with solutions to their problems, and they don;t know how to react now it's you who is in trouble.

They arent' deliberately blanking you, they just need time to get thier heads round this new development.

My best mate had real trouble with this but has adjusted now and is being really supportive. She just expected that I would soon find a way out of my problems, and didn;t realise how bad it was because I previously hadn;t spilled everything.

Come on here for support honey, but do tell your mates what's going on and they'll soon be giving you real world support too.

Big hugs xxx

summerday · 6 September 2005 at 2:41PM

Hi Faith (((hugs)))

Firstly don't panic about the 2 cars, I'm sure that if you can explain to them (just like you explained to us) that they are essential to you for bringing in 2 incomes they will understand and be fine with it.

You have NOT let your daughter down, like Ruyareece said you are a really positive role model to your daughter, you clearly love and care about her a lot and that's all that really matters, far more than material goods.

Feel free to PM me if you want advice about losing weight, I am a slimming consultant can make suggestions for family meals so that they can be slimming for you and daughter but with a few minor alterations will stop your OH losing weight. Trust me it can be done!

I know it won't be much help right now, but you WILL get through this, and it will make you a stronger person for it. You can also hold your head up high knowing that you've always done the right thing and always worked hard and avoided claiming benefits (again setting a brilliant role model for your little one

).

Even though you might feel old right now I'm sure many others will agree that you have many years ahead of you to rebuild your situation and they will be HAPPY ones. Keep your eye on the light at the end of the tunnel.

Keep us updated, Sarah.x

Lost Faith!!!!

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