Real-life MMD: Whose dog is it anyway?

pennypinchUK · 24 October 2012 at 9:37AM

Families...who'd 'ave 'em.

Of course, you know you've passed the liability to your stepbrother. If you're prepared for step-family war you may want to hold out and get step-bro to pay. But as you'd have had to pay the vets bills if you'd kept the dog is it worth the family hassle by sticking to your principles?

patm_2 · 24 October 2012 at 9:46AM

I think a lot depends on the circumstances here.
Why did you rehome the dog? I'm assuming it was because you couldn't keep it for whatever reason rather than because you got bored with it!
Why did your stepbrother take it? To help you out, or because he genuinely and actively wanted a dog?
What are your respective financial situations, who can best afford the vets bills?
With hindsight you should have had a long conversation with your stepbrother about the responsibilities of dog ownership before rehoming the dog, and should have agreed the precise arrangements about paying vets bills. In my opinion a 50-50 split would be fair. However it appears its too late now, and if he won't pay, you will have to.
As another poster said, if the new owner was a stranger, they would pay and the question wouldn't arise.
Not much help to you, but hopefully others can learn from your situation.

xxSaffronxx · 24 October 2012 at 9:54AM

If your brother wanted the dog then all responsibility goes with that in my opinion.
He shouldnt be expecting anyone to pay for the vet bills. You were going to rehome him and your brother wanted him.
He cant expect to have all the good stuff of owning a pet and not facing up to the bad side when it happens! You warned him and if he couldnt afford it then he shouldnt have taken him.

IMO if this is going to keep happening then maybe he should be rehomed to someone who can afford to look after him including financially as its not fair on the dog if he doesnt get the treatment he needs simply because the owner cannot afford it!

Ebenezer_Screwj · 24 October 2012 at 11:16AM

Your stepbrother has taken responsibility for the dog therefore he now owns it and has to pay for its upkeep. Further more this was pointed out to him when he agreed to take the dog, so where does your parents' involvement come in, or yours ?

onesixfive · 24 October 2012 at 12:13PM

Its your stepbrothers responsibility - not your parents - thats between them .
However - Depends how old the dog is ? why not club together & offer to buy your stepbrother (for Xmas) a pet insurance policy so the problem doesn't happen again ? (some offer for dogs up to 11)

xxSaffronxx · 24 October 2012 at 1:42PM

sng165 wrote: »

why not club together & offer to buy your stepbrother (for Xmas) a pet insurance policy so the problem doesn't happen again ? (some offer for dogs up to 11)

They wont pay out on the current problem. Think on a new policy you cannot claim for anything between 14-30 days depending on the insurer

fresian_cow · 24 October 2012 at 1:42PM

Can I let you know that this was my dilemma and give you more background as it was reworded. We regimes the dog as he wasn't getting along with our new baby and snapped at her, marking her face. (we did not take this decision lightly, we took on the dog aged 18months from another family with children who said they couldn't manage him plus their child and the expected one). We searched long and hard for a suitable home before my stepbrother approached us as he wanted a dog and the local shelter wouldn't allow him one due to living in flats with a shared entrance. It seemed a good home as he had the time and love to offer which had been lacking from us since we became parents.

He came to meet the dog and I explained that although fit and healthy, which he was at the time he was 8 and a half and may get health problems as any dog could. We didn't have insurance at that time but I advised him to take it out.

The dog became sick 2 weeks later and was found to have a tumour which had burst ans the decision was made to put him to sleep.

We had no idea he was ill and in hindsight this could have been the reason for his issues with the baby, we will never know.

Can I also just add that I am not close to this part of the family, my father married his mother. They don't bother at all with me, my brother or my daughter.my father considers her and her children his family, not us. When this occurred I knew that my sb would not be paying the vet bill, they would. However they would never have helped me out in the same way.

nczm · 24 October 2012 at 2:04PM

Brightness wrote: »

Penypincher, I was thinking the same thing as you about a dog being for life. I'm sorry but I cannot imagine giving up my dogs, I'd rather live in a tent than do so. One is 13 and the other is 4 - he is a rescue, we also lost a rescue just before we had him. When I took on our last rescue, I knew he didn't look 100% healthy and he came from someone we know. There was no way I would ask for help with vet bills - even though we couldn't afford the massive amount over the insurance limit that it cost us & we knew that they could. He was 'our dog' and that was it. However, if it was me who had to let a dog go, I would be offering to pay. Then again, as I said, I'd rather live in a tent than see either of my babies live with anyone else. I didn't get them to give them away - least of all when they got old. They give you years of loyalty and you give them away and begrudge paying to help them get better when they are old

You remind me of a friend of my mum's, she has four dogs (none of which she can afford) and is currently homeless because her tenant agreement ran out and she cannot find somewhere else on her budget which will allow animals... perspective!

xxSaffronxx · 24 October 2012 at 2:15PM

fresian_cow wrote: »

Can I let you know that this was my dilemma and give you more background as it was reworded. We regimes the dog as he wasn't getting along with our new baby and snapped at her, marking her face. (we did not take this decision lightly, we took on the dog aged 18months from another family with children who said they couldn't manage him plus their child and the expected one). We searched long and hard for a suitable home before my stepbrother approached us as he wanted a dog and the local shelter wouldn't allow him one due to living in flats with a shared entrance. It seemed a good home as he had the time and love to offer which had been lacking from us since we became parents.

He came to meet the dog and I explained that although fit and healthy, which he was at the time he was 8 and a half and may get health problems as any dog could. We didn't have insurance at that time but I advised him to take it out.

The dog became sick 2 weeks later and was found to have a tumour which had burst ans the decision was made to put him to sleep.

We had no idea he was ill and in hindsight this could have been the reason for his issues with the baby, we will never know.

Can I also just add that I am not close to this part of the family, my father married his mother. They don't bother at all with me, my brother or my daughter.my father considers her and her children his family, not us. When this occurred I knew that my sb would not be paying the vet bill, they would. However they would never have helped me out in the same way.

Gosh how awful

and what a horrible decision to make!

I still think the cost is down to your SB tho. But I suppose since the dog has been put to sleep its not going to happen again in the future with costs, then its really up to you whether you think you should contribute.
Personally I wouldnt

Augustus_the_Strong · 24 October 2012 at 2:15PM

Given the more detailed explanation, I think you might as well pay the money - your family won't believe you didn't know the dog was ill, and if the dog could have got on with the baby you'd still have had it anyway and had to pay the vet's bills. This is a one-off, not a continuing situation, so to keep the peace, I think you'd be wise to offer at least half of the bill, assuming you can afford it.

Real-life MMD: Whose dog is it anyway?

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