Etiquette for "talking online"?

dunroving · 11 April 2018 at 10:07AM

I'm interested in people's opinions on the following. Bear in mind I am an old techie (60 yrs), and although I know one end of a computer from the other (especially compared to my younger peers, it seems), I'm not well up on social etiquette with virtual communications.

So, I have a friend who sends me emails like "What do you think of this?" or "CHECK THIS VIDEO OUT!!!!"

The fact her emails (especially the latter sort) usually get filtered out as spam, if I send a response, I get another immediate response, with another single sentence (if I'm lucky; usually just a phrase or another question). It quickly becomes apparent she wants to have a "conversation" via email.

Am I wrong in thinking this isn't what email is typically intended for? To me, emails are electronic letters (oh yes, e-MAIL, duh). I don't want my email Inbox cluttered with dozens of emails that form part of an email conversation string.

Ironically, she sent me a text message last week, and I commenced having a conversation via text message (which I hate; fat finger syndrome). After a while she exclaimed (via text), "OMG!!!" "too many texts!!!" I thought that was how texts were often used - for a conversation. Again, am I wrong?

My thinking is that email is for letters and memo-type communications (albeit they often are informal/personal, not just for business use), whereas conversations exist via text message, Whatsapp, Messenger, etc.

Am I completely out of touch?

onomatopoeia99 · 11 April 2018 at 10:55AM

There is no standard about which medium to use for which kind of communication. Whatever suits the parties involved is fine, there is no requirement to be rigid about forms..

I use facebook messenger for text "conversations" and rarely use SMS for anything. My evening class were using email for conversations with occasional SMS for urgent things (e.g. lessons cancelled on the day) but we've now moved to whatsup for almost everything except homework.

suki1964 · 11 April 2018 at 11:06AM

Oh I hate those emails and messages, the sender is soon put on block. I don't click on links full stop

I have FB messenger to chat on. Can't remember the last time I sent an email or text

There is of course the good old phone for long meaningful chats

For me messenging, texting, is for quick questions or notices. Like I'll text, what time are we meeting, but I won't give a life history. Real conversations are for face to face or the phone. The rest is just stuff it's not worth taking the time to meet or call about

grumpycrab · 11 April 2018 at 11:11AM

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

but we've now moved to whatsup for almost everything

The first time I heard somebody say whatsapp I asked if they meant whatsup. That was a while ago and its become ubiquitous.

JJ_Egan · 11 April 2018 at 11:14AM

WRONG
Text Whatsapp etc not everybody uses them or wants them .
Email has a delete button .

John_Gray · 11 April 2018 at 11:16AM

Of course if one uses only email, the phone and SMS text messaging then the choice of a specific interpersonal communication mechanism is pleasing limited!

Personally I hate people who want to exchange a series of text messages when it would be so much simpler to use the phone once!

RumRat · 11 April 2018 at 1:33PM

JJ_Egan wrote: »

WRONG
Text Whatsapp etc not everybody uses them or wants them .
Email has a delete button .

What's wrong? The vast majority do use and want them though. So they aren't going anywhere soon.

OP.
As has been said, there is no special form. Brevity is usually the way of text messages born from the limitations of the early days.
Having conversations using them is a bit unwieldy IMO, but, it's your choice when to engage or not.
Emails, some write conversationally and others like a formal letter. Everything is so quick now that some do use them to have a discussion, but, it's not the best use of email.
Just use as you want and don't worry about etiquette, it's long gone in communications.

Farway · 11 April 2018 at 2:37PM

Just be happy they are using grammatical sentences, paragraphs & punctuation

that · 11 April 2018 at 11:24PM

RumRat wrote: »

What's wrong? The vast majority do use and want them though. So they aren't going anywhere soon.

Yeh, I use them. You can't expect privacy if it is run by facebook. Even though there is 'end to end encryption', and they do not log, but still they manage to collect 'meta data'.

Use signal or telegram instead

dunroving · 12 April 2018 at 8:57AM

John_Gray wrote: »

Of course if one uses only email, the phone and SMS text messaging then the choice of a specific interpersonal communication mechanism is pleasing limited!

Personally I hate people who want to exchange a series of text messages when it would be so much simpler to use the phone once!

Wow, "hate" is such a strong word; ironically in the example I provided, the complainant is the person who always instigates the series of text messages (usually late at night, when the last thing I want is a conversation). I haven't even mastered the double-thumb texting strategy so texting is almost literally a pain.

RumRat wrote: »

What's wrong? The vast majority do use and want them though. So they aren't going anywhere soon.

OP.
As has been said, there is no special form. Brevity is usually the way of text messages born from the limitations of the early days.
Having conversations using them is a bit unwieldy IMO, but, it's your choice when to engage or not.
Emails, some write conversationally and others like a formal letter. Everything is so quick now that some do use them to have a discussion, but, it's not the best use of email.
Just use as you want and don't worry about etiquette, it's long gone in communications.

Although I'm a former teacher of English, I'm not bothered by the use of email for informal messages so much as for single-sentence or single-phrase rapid-fire "conversations".

Although when my 66-year-old friend writes things like "Waddya fink?", it makes me cringe just a little.

Farway wrote: »

Just be happy they are using grammatical sentences, paragraphs & punctuation

Ha! I wish!

GunJack · 12 April 2018 at 10:06AM

re: using a 1-minute phonecall over a string of text/fb/whapp messages...

the 1-min call would be my preferred choice every time, but you just try getting younger people to do that!! I honestly think a lot of them have lost the ability to hold a proper conversation of any duration, and that's not good

rant over.....

Etiquette for "talking online"?

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