Child benefit dispute. Ex lying to HMRC
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bflare
Posts: 464 Forumite
Due to welfare concerns for my son and his wishes I now have him living with me full time. He is 12 and this situation as progressed over around 8 months. His mum is very manipulative and was constantly lying to him. She has been taking amphetamines on a weekend for some time which was leaving her unable to care for him properly once she started to come down. Around 6 months ago she moved in a heroin addict who she said was on a methadone treatment plan. My son started to feel uncomfortable living there and started to ask to stay at mine more. I've had reports of drug dealers visiting the house daily amongst other undesirable things. I decided to have him live with me and his mum didn't put up much resistance until I stopped child maintenance. I put a claim in to child benefit and I've had a letter today saying that tbey have a counter claim. His mum is basically lying to the HMRC. My son has been living with me now for around 2 months.
I'm not sure what to do from here? I've changed his doctors and informed the hospital. How do I prove he is living with me?
The other day his mum phoned me complaining that her benefits have been stopped and she's not entitled to a 2 bed house any more and she said she was going to inform the council that our son stays with her 2 nights per week which he clearly doesn't.
Any advice please? I may just seek advice from a solicitor.
I'm not sure what to do from here? I've changed his doctors and informed the hospital. How do I prove he is living with me?
The other day his mum phoned me complaining that her benefits have been stopped and she's not entitled to a 2 bed house any more and she said she was going to inform the council that our son stays with her 2 nights per week which he clearly doesn't.
Any advice please? I may just seek advice from a solicitor.
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Comments
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It's complicated. See here
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/child-benefit/before-you-claim/check-if-you-can-get-child-benefit/#h-if-you-ve-separated-from-your-partner
Why not try your local CAB to see if they can help. In my experience there aren't that many solicitors who know much about benefits
ETA
Having said that given your overall issues with your ex it might be worth seeing a solicitor to try and formalise childcare arrangements. Some CABs do have access to a family law solicitor0 -
Was the letter from the DWP?Due to welfare concerns for my son and his wishes I now have him living with me full time. He is 12 and this situation as progressed over around 8 months. His mum is very manipulative and was constantly lying to him. She has been taking amphetamines on a weekend for some time which was leaving her unable to care for him properly once she started to come down. Around 6 months ago she moved in a heroin addict who she said was on a methadone treatment plan. My son started to feel uncomfortable living there and started to ask to stay at mine more. I've had reports of drug dealers visiting the house daily amongst other undesirable things. I decided to have him live with me and his mum didn't put up much resistance until I stopped child maintenance. I put a claim in to child benefit and I've had a letter today saying that tbey have a counter claim. His mum is basically lying to the HMRC. My son has been living with me now for around 2 months.
I'm not sure what to do from here? I've changed his doctors and informed the hospital. How do I prove he is living with me?
The other day his mum phoned me complaining that her benefits have been stopped and she's not entitled to a 2 bed house any more and she said she was going to inform the council that our son stays with her 2 nights per week which he clearly doesn't.
Any advice please? I may just seek advice from a solicitor.
What did it say?
How are they going to proceed with these 2 claims for the same child?
What proof have they asked for regarding where the child lives?
For context, here are the OP's other threads on the same subject:
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=6080196
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=6058711
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=6070317
The last one is titled 'How can I prove that my son lives with me?'0 -
OP, I'd just ring them on Monday and ask them what they need you to send them. Letters are generated by the computer so it won't be a case of anyone dealing with this at the moment, it will have just been sent out automatically. We've had years of malicious referrals and allegations from a family member and the various agencies are used to dealing with it because, unfortunately, it happens far more than people realise. I've found the various agencies and organisations helpful when I've called in the past to ask for advice. So I would try to put it out of your mind until Monday and then just ring them and ask them what you need to do or send them. Keep in mind they'll be asking your ex for proof as well and she won't have any because he isn't living there (or if she does it will be out of date proof that you'll be able to disprove).
It might also be worth (if you haven't already) just putting together a brief note to go on your son's medical file, school and social services if they're involved, just stating basic facts (you don't need to give chapter and verse, just bullet point concerns for his safety, date he moved in with you, he's in agreement, mum is causing problems etc) and ask for that to be added to the file, just so that anyone involved knows what's going on. I found that cut down a lot of the problems we were having because I got in with accurate information first, which made it harder for our family member to keep coming up with fresh allegations (just in case your ex starts creating more problems, she doesn't sound terribly reasonable!).
They are used to malicious allegations and people making false statements and I found it better to deal with it all head on. Hope that helps a bit. Try not to let her spoil your weekend
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