Unemployment seems to entitle people to your life!

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  • Takeaway_Addict
    Takeaway_Addict Posts: 6,538 Forumite
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    amcg100 wrote: »
    Being unemployed should be a citizens right in my opinion, we should have the right to opt out and select it as a lifestyle choice.
    Being over qualified is a real problem, it basically excludes you from employment and is discrimination.
    No one forces you to work, just don't expect other people to pay your way
    Don't trust a forum for advice. Get proper paid advice. Any advice given should always be checked
  • Comms69
    Comms69 Posts: 14,229 Forumite
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    amcg100 wrote: »
    Being unemployed should be a citizens right in my opinion, we should have the right to opt out and select it as a lifestyle choice.
    Being over qualified is a real problem, it basically excludes you from employment and is discrimination.



    It is. Everyone has the right to be unemployed.


    (just don't expect me to pick up your tab)


    It's legal discrimination; and thank goodness!
  • stator
    stator Posts: 7,441 Forumite
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    The phrase "You can't teach an old dog new tricks" is not true.



    Studies have shown that people (and dogs) can learn new skills at any age. It's only their willingness to learn that changes.


    Unless you are 6 months away from qualifying for the state pension, then you have the ability to find a new career.


    You can't blame your relatives for making suggestions, you don't seem to be managing your career transition yourself.
    Changing the world, one sarcastic comment at a time.
  • motorguy
    motorguy Posts: 22,479 Forumite
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    amcg100 wrote: »
    Being unemployed should be a citizens right in my opinion, we should have the right to opt out and select it as a lifestyle choice.

    You absolutely have that right, right now! :beer:

    If you want to not work, then great! Dont work!

    However you dont have the right to expect the rest of us to fund it ;)
  • Gavin83
    Gavin83 Posts: 8,753 Forumite
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    DestinyGamer wrote: »
    What is it about being unemployed that people, especially family, think they can impose their ideas of what you should be doing with your life on you?

    I’ve got a huffy BF who thinks I’m just sitting about at home living off his money for the hell of it. A mum who’s on another planet and thinks I should re-train as a teacher of all things, like it easy. A sister who insists I should apply to work in her field of work despite never having done a day in my life.

    At this point in my life I’m too broke to re-train and too old to do an apprenticeship,yet apparently over-qualified for basic min wage jobs, while not getting interviews for the levels I am trained at. Having everyone else push their opinions on me is not helping my mental wellbeing. I know they mean well but they don’t realise how belittling it is and how pathetic I feel not being able to secure employment. I actually feel pretty useless not being able to pay my own way, like my independence has been stripped away and left me stark naked in plain view of everyone. I had to come off social media becuase everyone asking if I had a job yet was really getting to me.

    How much time a week do you spend looking/applying for jobs or learning new skills to make yourself more employable?
  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 46,061 Forumite
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    DestinyGamer wrote: »
    A sister who insists I should apply to work in her field of work despite never having done a day in my life.
    I have been wondering about this comment: I mean, I can see that you may know for certain that teaching's not for you, but perhaps your sister thinks that her field of work would really suit you. And even if you disagree, is it worth responding with something like "OK, so what would I have to do to get a job like yours?" Even if you think you know, and think it's not do-able, forcing her to spell it out to you may get that message across to her.

    I'm one of five, we all do / did very different jobs. If one of them had suggested their career to me, it would have been because they thought I'd be good at it / enjoy it, and vice versa. (As it is, they're all in awe of my skills, and vice versa!)
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  • DestinyGamer
    DestinyGamer Posts: 72 Forumite
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    Feyfangirl wrote: »
    As someone who has had a couple of long term unemployment spells, especially a more recent one, I know how truly soul destroying it can be. Not only do you feel judged by society for not working (even though you are looking for work!) you can be looking for every job you can physically do (e.g. qualified for, experienced, etc.) and still be told you arent experienced, or not qualified enough or over qualified.


    Family will tell you how simple it is to get a job, even though they themselves have had periods of unemployment (and far more money themselves given to them by others during this unemployment and before) and what you should be doing (e.g. volunteering in an out of town role due to more local ones not taking on volunteers, and ignoring the point of how not having the bus fare to travel kind of makes it pointless).



    It's a hard, and frustrating road, and I have so much respect for you for going through this. I am 26 now, and am currently training as a level 3 nursery nurse for one day a week. The advanced learner loans are good, as it works like a student loan but is cheaper and will enable you to do a btec course (level 2/3) to help you become qualified :) good luck!

    Thank you so much for this!

    I do actually volunteer when I’m not applying for work or interviewing.

    Many commenters seem to have missed where I said I’m living off credit cards. I don’t borrow my bf’s cards, I don’t claim benefits, his wages only barely cover our bills but I in no way expect him to pay my half. Every week I have an interview and even more rejection emails to wake up to. It’s disheartening and disorientating.

    Then everyone sees you take a break for a minute to play a game or go outside just to feel normal and pounce on you. Thankfully although my man can get huffy he understands I can’t be applying every second of every day. But unemployment becomes the only topic of discussion with friends and family, often them bringing it up first.
    Total debt 12/18 £9365.74 | Now: DEBT FREE
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  • John_G_Jones
    John_G_Jones Posts: 542 Forumite
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    amcg100 wrote: »
    Being unemployed should be a citizens right in my opinion, we should have the right to opt out and select it as a lifestyle choice.
    Being over qualified is a real problem, it basically excludes you from employment and is discrimination.
    But you absolutely do have that right. I’ve a couple of friends who stopped work in their forties, and no-one tells them that they have to work. They travel, one has got his pilot’s license and flies himself somewhere new when he fancies and the other one spends a fair amount of time driving a classic car around Europe.

    Where do you get the idea from that anyone will make you work?
  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 46,061 Forumite
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    DestinyGamer wrote: »
    At this point in my life I’m too broke to re-train and too old to do an apprenticeship,yet apparently over-qualified for basic min wage jobs, while not getting interviews for the levels I am trained at.
    I'm just wondering, have you had your CV / application forms reviewed? Because if you're qualified / trained for something, but not getting interviews at that level, it suggests there may be something a bit 'off' there.

    I've no idea if the National Careers Service is any good - it may vary from one area to another - but is it worth getting in touch with them? I came across a stall they were running before Christmas, and mentioned a friend who hasn't worked for 20 years for very good reasons, and they thought they'd be able to help them prep a CV etc. They have a physical presence in our city, not sure how widespread that is.

    And are there agencies which specialise in your line of work? I know that can definitely be a bit hit and miss ...
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  • bhompy
    bhompy Posts: 182 Forumite
    edited 13 January 2019 at 1:07AM
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    Sympathies for you! And especially agree with the entitlement to your life, but perhaps a different side to the story...

    I took a break off work 4m ago as I started having medical issues (done 14 blood tests, xrays, ultrasounds - got another form for further 11 vials of blood test next week) - I had enough saved and still haven't claimed benefit (nor intend to).


    I live with older family acquaintance who I address as aunt (I haven't explicitly told about doc and hospital visits) whom I pay weekly for rent / bills / food and she always finds a way to nag about unemployed situation - or assign me chores and supermarket/PO/bank runs as I am 'free'. Genuinely don't mind helping where/when I can, but I do feel like she has some entitlement to my life/time as I am not employed.

    All this after her son has been sitting home unemployed for 7 years...who will not even take his fully laundered pile to own room/has a car.
    happy to be back after about 8 year hiatus...!
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