Oldest friend took £1400, moved house, changed contact details without paying me back, what do I do?

CrazeeCurlee · 9 July 2018 at 9:09PM

EDIT: Thank you to everyone who has responded, I really appreciate all your time in reading and posting. However... I have got the message that it is unlikely I will get the money back! I still want to take it to court, so I would be grateful for responses on how much the process is likely to cost, where I can send court documents to and if I can't send them to her mum or her nan, how much it would cost to trace her. Thans.

THE STORY: Sadly I've seen a few similar cases on here... she agreed to hold onto some money for me (so I wouldn't spend it on stupid stuff) and transfer it on a certain date. She never did, there were always excuses as to why she couldn't, until she sent a dodgy screenshot which she claimed showed the money coming out of her account, changed her contact details and then never responded to anything I sent. The week before she went AWOL she moved into a new address, but did not give me it. I never received the money, and have all the proof of this. Additionally, her screenshot only showed £900 so even by her own evidence £500 is missing.

I'm wondering what I can do now? My understanding is I need to send a letter before action (I have a good template for this) and offer mediation (I have found a good place) but since I don't know her address, or who exactly it is she works for, is it enough to send a letter before action via email, or to her Mum's or Nan's or previous living address? If not, I've seen Monkey Finder recommended on here, any idea how much they would cost? How about the whole process - realistically, how much am I going to have to spend?

Edi81 · 9 July 2018 at 9:11PM

Some friend!
You need to accept that the money is likely to be gone.

worried_jim · 9 July 2018 at 9:12PM

Chalk it down to experience and NEVER lend money again. You are not a bank sadly.

DCFC79 · 9 July 2018 at 9:15PM

worried_jim wrote: »

Chalk it down to experience and NEVER lend money again. You are not a bank sadly.

Its not that the OP lent the friend the money but more a cash the OP gave said friend x amount to look after so it wouldn't be spent on stupid stuff.

OP if you know her surname and area she lives give 192.com a go.

thorsoak · 9 July 2018 at 9:28PM

Scratch his/her name off the Christmas card list!

thorsoak · 9 July 2018 at 9:29PM

Scratch her name off your Christmas card list! And be grateful it wasn't any more.

CrazeeCurlee · 9 July 2018 at 11:05PM

Thanks for the responses everyone! Yes clearly she is no longer a friend :'-( which is such a shame as we've known each other since we were 5 and were very close.

I would like to take it to court as 1) principle and 2) while I accept it is likely the money is gone and I will not see it again, there is still a chance if I take her to court, but no chance whatsoever if I don't. I doubt she will defend it, and even if she did, I have such a watertight case I know that I will win. Since she has a good job (she does something in finance for a firm), if I win in court, there might still be a chance of getting at least some of it back. £1.4k is a LOT of money to me, I am really struggling at the moment in a part time job, and really needed this money, mostly to pay to finish off my degree (to give the situation more perspective). So if anyone has any idea RE address and costs that would be great. I've read the guide on here about it but the amounts listed seem to vary wildly!

@DCFC, I've tried 192.com but it only lists her Mum's address in 2011! Since then she's been back and forth from her Mum's and Nan's; she only moved into the new place a couple of months ago so not long enough to show on such a register I don't think sadly!

[Deleted User] · 9 July 2018 at 11:08PM

Find a new friend and kiss good-bye to the money, we see almost daily that friends/family and money don't mix.

CrazeeCurlee · 9 July 2018 at 11:37PM

Thanks Venison, I get that! But I do want to take it to court so practical advice I would really appreciate!

DCFC79 · 9 July 2018 at 11:40PM

Do you know where her mum lives ?
You could try that.

Its alright saying she has a job in finance but if shes spending money willy nilly she might not have enough to pay you back.

Money_maker · 10 July 2018 at 12:46AM

Presume you know her family quite well having been friends since you were 5. Go and see her mum, lay it all out for her. That'll cause some embarrassment and you may be able to levy her address out of her. Is she on social media? Mutual friends?

Oldest friend took £1400, moved house, changed contact details without paying me back, what do I do?

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