Problem obtaining deceased's possessions
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Myself and my husband are executors. Myself and my brother are beneficiaries.
The will was made after the second marriage.
The house is held as tenants in common, so her half of the house will be left to us eventually. He has the right to continue to live there until he decides to sell or dies.
There was also some money that was bequeathed to myself and my brother, and the residue of her estate, ie her personal belongings was also bequeathed to us.
There is nothing really of monetary value that we want, just sentimental stuff that was personally hers. Like I said, I am not seeking to remove furniture and other household items.0 -
Do you have an inventory of the assets you want to claim?0
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I'd imagine that would be tricky to write, how do you know what a relative has until you see it? You might have an idea of some pieces, but you wouldn't necessarily know what else they had kept.getmore4less wrote: »Do you have an inventory of the assets you want to claim?:heartpuls Mrs Marleyboy :heartpuls
MSE: many of the benefits of a helpful family, without disadvantages like having to compete for the tv remote
Proud Parents to an Aut-some son 0 -
Myself and my husband are executors. Myself and my brother are beneficiaries.
The will was made after the second marriage.
The house is held as tenants in common, so her half of the house will be left to us eventually. He has the right to continue to live there until he decides to sell or dies.
There was also some money that was bequeathed to myself and my brother, and the residue of her estate, ie her personal belongings was also bequeathed to us.
There is nothing really of monetary value that we want, just sentimental stuff that was personally hers. Like I said, I am not seeking to remove furniture and other household items.
If there is no one thing of great value, then you do not really need to itemise individual items for probate purposes just give an overall estimated value, HMRC are not going to challenge it.
I know it does not help get her possessions but it means you cam move on with probate.0 -
You do this by writing to him to warn him against intermeddling so that he does not become liable to the estate out of mistake/ignorance.
I'm sure if he gets that sort of jargon riddled letter shortly after being widowed it will be in the waste bin in no time at all.
OP, you keep going on about wanting items of sentimental value. Your mother's husband may find that very hard to deal with - perhaps try to see things from his point of view rather than wanting to get your hands on the jewellery as soon as possible?0 -
As Executors, we have tried our best to be over-accommodating to him and to deal with things as fairly and reasonably as we possibly can. I am quite happy to wait for other items, but he has absolutely no reason at all to hold on to my mother's jewellery. He was quite happy to pack up all of my mother's clothes and get his cleaner to dump them in black bin bags at my house, and I hadn't even asked for those!
He has made it absolutely clear that he doesn't want anything to do with us, and that all future communication is to go through his solicitor, which is fine. However, he doesn't appear to have given any instructions to his solicitor as no-one has heard anything, so we are in limbo as it were. How long it is reasonable to wait? He has been telling another relative that he has been giving some items away and 'there will be nothing left for us...' It is not his to give away, and our solicitor has made that clear to him, but who knows what he's doing?
What is really upsetting is that previously I'd like to think that we had a pretty good relationship with him, but for some reason when mum died, he's turned nasty and horrible towards us. I am finding that really difficult to deal with, as I know we haven't done anything wrong. He is angry, and I get that, grief affects us all in different ways, but I don't understand why he is angry with us. His behaviour has been quite appalling, but that's another long story.
As I said, as executors I am aware that we need to act fairly and neutrally, which is what we have tried to do all along, but he is just making everything impossible for us.
All I really wanted to know is what action, if any, is open to us to eventually get my mother's belongings?0 -
If you had a pretty good relationship with him previously, did you go to see him after your mother's death, ask him how he's doing, ask him what help *he* needs following his wife's death? Or was your first action to ask for your mother's chattels?
If the latter, this could explain why he's turned nasty. I doubt he was "happy" to pack up his wife's clothes, but he may have done it out of pure frustration & hurt.
I agree with all the comments on here to cut him some slack & back off. If you pressure him further, it could just get worse.0 -
Also he could have been put under the impression that he would be the main beneficiary with just her part of the house being left elsewhere as would be normal in the circumstances.
I have to say that if I was married to someone & found out that basically everything had been left elsewhere I would have been hurt, shocked & I too would probably have dumped all the easily accessible items (clothes) on your doorstep.0 -
Just a final thought - when you say he is "being extremely awkward and not allowing us access to the property", it's easy to forget that "the property" is actually his *home* ( yes, half of the house will be left to you eventually, but as you say, he has the right to continue to live there until he decides to sell or dies).
If the tables were turned, and only three months after your mother's death, he was demanding access to *your* home to remove things & sending you solicitor letters, how would you feel?0 -
OP as you rightly say grief affects each of us differently. He could be in denial that your mother did not leave her personal belongings to him and then angered that you are pressing for them three months after her demise.
Some people like to hang onto belongings as a link to the deceased person, he may well have sent the clothing simply in frustration at your letters, may fear that you may try to force him to move from the home or tell him what he may or may not do in it.
If you know specific items you would like then by all means list them and ask that he lets you have them but I know if someone pestered me for my wifes jewelry my first thoughts would be "when I'm good and ready" and "what is the rush?". Very few ordinary folk have very valuable items even gold watches, etc are usually only worth their scrap value.
I'd suggest take a step back, give the HMRC a rough estimate of value, unless the estate is likely to be subject to inheritance tax they would not really worry too much even if you over estimate the value. Then try again in a few months to seek the belongings, at the end of the day he needs time to grieve.CRV1963- Light bulb moment Sept 15- Planning the great escape- aka retirement!0
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