HATE my new job and going back to my old dead end job

milliehaha · 3 December 2019 at 12:04PM

Left my old job because the pay was low and there was no career progression. Enjoyed the job itself.. I could be creative, left to my own devices and got on really well with my colleagues. Started a new job 5 weeks ago, the pay was loads better, it was a management position and slightly closer to home. I thought I'd finally found it. I thought it was going to be my dream job and that all of my hard work had finally paid off.
WRONG!
Second week in, I already hated it. Never worked for the company before (all other management had moved their way up) and I had no training. I never even shadowed another member of staff and when it came to them showing me something they never talked me through the process, they just did it for me. My manager is absolutely awful. She is intimidating, she speaks down to me, looks and speaks to me like I am a child, when I problem solve something and report back she makes fun of my choices and tells me to stop pretending that I know what I'm doing! I dread walking up to work - to the point where my heart would be beating out of my chest and not being able to breathe. I cry myself to sleep nearly every night, on the way to work and sometimes in the work toilets. The job itself is boring and I rarely feel fulfilled. I've kept it up for 5 weeks because I know that a part of feeling like this is normal but never in my life have I been this low over a job. I saw another side to my team the other day - a team that are not like minded and I decided that I was never going to go back. As unprofessional as it is especially for a manager, I have not turned up to work for 2 days and will be sending an email today for immediate resignation. I got in contact with my old manager asking if any positions were available. There is only a part time vacancy going and she doesn't know when full time might come up. I am ringing her tomorrow to apply for it but my goodness I feel like such a failure. Going from full time in a dead end job to a management position to back to the old job but with less hours which equals half of the money. All I'm asking really is that has anyone else been in a similar position that worked out for you in the end?

[Deleted User] · 3 December 2019 at 12:15PM

milliehaha wrote: »

All I'm asking really is that has anyone else been in a similar position that worked out for you in the end?

It doesn't really matter. Some have, some haven't, but everyone is unique.

Focus your efforts on getting a new role. Not just with your old company, but anywhere else you can.

You also need to close off your old role in the most professional way possible.

[Deleted User] · 3 December 2019 at 2:11PM

Been there lots of times. It always gets better or works itself out.

In my current position, I simply wouldn’t have been able to ask for old role back (a pic popped up of new receptionist on fb a week later, who was my mate and who I helped get a different job at the place so I couldn’t be more chuffed for them) so I dared not even ask but it really helped me in a way to put old place behind me and knowing my lovely manager was leaving anyway. New place been a few storms, not many words spoken, lunch break fully taken and now I do little steps to look forward to like Christmas that is now only 3 weeks away all the while building up some time and less likely to quit random as time goes on. Though jobs do come with probationary periods don’t they.

You’ve got to do what is best for you. Could you return to the part time job on a temporary basis for now, least it will give you breathing space to have another stab at job hunting and least they will have you back, got to count for something head up.

Potbellypig · 3 December 2019 at 2:17PM

Don't beat yourself up about it. Spend your time off work now getting your CV out to as many companies and recruitment agencies as possible. You may need to start again in a totally different sector and will know doubt face worrying challenges again.

This happens to everyone in some form or another. It's good to fail at something. It'll make you stronger.

Mistral001 · 3 December 2019 at 3:01PM

I would give it a while longer. Break problems down into what you must do as a manager and do them. Management is lonely. The people above you will not help you much with what they have given you responsibility for and the people below will expect to be managed and that means you doing what I said in the second sentence above.

Smodlet · 4 December 2019 at 7:51PM

milliehaha, you come across as someone who expresses themselves really well and who knows what he/she wants from a job. You were obviously valued in your last job if they can find you a post you can go back to; that is good.

It seems you have a great deal to offer the job marketplace so likely that you have options; are you sure you cannot do this? More to the point, are you sure you don't want to? If so, I strongly advise you to do what you seem to be doing and get out now, before this new place brings you down any further... But, if you are not sure you can't make this work, why not give it another go? What do you have to lose?

Going into a new situation with a load of people you don't know was always going to be difficult. Is this job one you want to do and are capable of doing to a high standard? If yes, why let the bar stewards grind you down? No-one will ever fight for you the way you will, right?

Your choice but don't prolong the agony if you know it is not going to work for you; equally, don't let a bunch of you-know-whats mess with your career: If you really are a good manager (a very rare species, in my experience) maybe you need to decide whether this team deserve you, or not. How about that?

ChasingtheWelshdream · 5 December 2019 at 12:05AM

Milliehaha,

I have recently been through a similar situation so didn't want to read and run.

I took a huge promotion from a very lowly job into a different sector, but I hated it (different reasons and circumstances that I won't bore you with here). I should have loved it, and everyone told me I was just 'settling in' and it was normal to feel like that at the beginning.

Suffice to say, I stuck at it for a month but was completely miserable - the same as you, crying in the toilets, near panic attacks, physical symptoms. So I completely understand your feelings.

I had the opportunity of going back to my old team, albeit on a temporary basis. I agonised over it as I felt a complete failure, that I was somehow admitting defeat and I was going from a permanent position with prospects, to a temporary contract.

In the end however, I went back and haven't regretted it. Yes, I have little prospects and it is low-paid unless I chase promotion again, but the relief was physical - I could almost feel the weight being lifted. I'll deal with the contract-end when it happens, but if nothing else it has given me breathing space to recover and re-evaluate what I want to do.

I suppose what I'm trying to say, is you know yourself best. Sometimes, 'what you do' (career-wise) is not as important as 'how you feel'.

I hope you can be at peace with whatever decision you decide.

Marcon · 5 December 2019 at 10:48AM

milliehaha wrote: »

Started a new job 5 weeks ago, the pay was loads better, it was a management position and slightly closer to home. I thought I'd finally found it. I thought it was going to be my dream job and that all of my hard work had finally paid off.

Haven't given it much of a chance, have you? If you start off with the wholly unrealistic stance that it is your 'dream job' you need to work at making it precisely that. You also need to be clear in your own mind what constitutes your 'dream job' (as opposed to a daily nightmare).

Set against that comment is the obvious one that we all make mistakes and only fools persist in them. If you are sure it is 'wrong' for you, then throwing the towel even before the end of round one is likely to be the best bet for you - and only you know that.

Smodlet · 5 December 2019 at 3:18PM

milliehaha, it would be good if you could come back and update those who have bothered to respond to you and show support. I hope your absence is because you are too busy working and not because you feel too low to find the energy even to post.

I have no idea whether or not you are even still reading this but I will leave whoever might be with this thought: How is taking yourself out of a situation which makes you miserable "failure"? It is not; it is self-preservation.

20aday · 6 December 2019 at 12:06AM

Earlier on in the year I saw a vacancy within the same company I'm still working for that was closer to home, full time and with more responsibility.

After 12 weeks I went back to my old store, on less hours and with less responsibility and it's not a decision I regret. There were some comments that it would look 'bad' as I am interested in a career in management but I spent 10 and a half years in my previous job that got *that* bad I entered a period of severe depression.

So, I could've put on a 'brave' face, stuck at it and continued to dread going to work *or* I could have said that I've given it a go, and it wasn't for me. Jobs come and go but mental health (and health in general) is much more important.

I'll echo the comment above: you know yourself best. Do what's right for you.

milliehaha · 6 December 2019 at 10:12AM

Thank you everyone for your support. I have spent the last few days in bed feeling overwhelmed but I feel the more I move away from the miserable job the easier I am finding it to cope. Instead of thinking "I've just left my job what am i going to do" I am starting to think "what could be next". I got in contact with my old manager and she is sending me an application form for the part time position - I have to do the usual interview process because other Christmas temps also want it. I will focus on giving a really good application and interview and if I get a chance at the part-time, I will push forward and continue to work hard and hopefully in the near future I could be in a full time position. If not, well then I will just have to cross that bridge when I get to it - but with a clear mind this time and a better understanding of what I want (and don't want) from a job. My old colleagues have been so supportive and if they have anything to do with me coming back, I think I have a good chance of getting it.

My mindset is looking a lot more positive and I can't tell you all how calming it is to read that all of you have been through this or something similar.

"The sun will rise and we will too"
xxxxxx

HATE my new job and going back to my old dead end job

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