My friend realised he loves his ex after she broke-up with him. What should he do?

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  • ska_lover
    ska_lover Posts: 3,773 Forumite
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    Op send her a letter.
    If she shows it to her friends, her peer group it is what some friends would naturally do...discuss relationships with their peers...it is not that weird and don't mean she needs their validation etc. It is 'girl talk' not neccesarily bad - friends are a support network etc
    Send the letter. if she doesnt respond you will know. if you leave it much longer you will regret not having AT LEAST tried.
    Good luck
    The opposite of what you know...is also true
  • JamesFuller
    JamesFuller Posts: 85 Forumite
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    So I asked him how he could contact her.

    He's removed her from all social media because he thought at the time they had broken up and any photos of her would immediately bring back feelings and want to get in touch with her. Same reason he deleted her number from his phone.

    The only thing he has is her email.

    He knows where she lives but doesn't want to post anything to her because it might seem alarming to her.

    He has nothing but good intentions, seems like he was clumsy in the relationship and wants a second chance.
  • ska_lover
    ska_lover Posts: 3,773 Forumite
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    JamesFuller wrote: »
    So I asked him how he could contact her.

    He's removed her from all social media because he thought at the time they had broken up and any photos of her would immediately bring back feelings and want to get in touch with her. Same reason he deleted her number from his phone.

    The only thing he has is her email.

    He knows where she lives but doesn't want to post anything to her because it might seem alarming to her.

    He has nothing but good intentions, seems like he was clumsy in the relationship and wants a second chance.

    Tell him to send the bloody email and stop faffing around

    Nothing worse than a missed opportunity

    What's the worst that can happen, she doesn't respond, well he won't be worse off than he is now

    DO IT - everything to gain, nothing to lose
    The opposite of what you know...is also true
  • ska_lover
    ska_lover Posts: 3,773 Forumite
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    JamesFuller wrote: »
    So I asked him how he could contact her.

    He's removed her from all social media because he thought at the time they had broken up and any photos of her would immediately bring back feelings and want to get in touch with her. Same reason he deleted her number from his phone.

    The only thing he has is her email.

    He knows where she lives but doesn't want to post anything to her because it might seem alarming to her.

    He has nothing but good intentions, seems like he was clumsy in the relationship and wants a second chance.

    Tell him to send the bloody email and stop faffing around - I would add a 'read receipt' then at least he will know she has read it . Cannot see how a letter through the post would be alarming, any more so than an email out the blue. He really needs to chose his words carefully and be heart felt

    Nothing worse than a missed opportunity

    What's the worst that can happen, she doesn't respond, well he won't be worse off than he is now

    DO IT - everything to gain, nothing to lose

    DO IT NOW. - next post I want to see what he has written and if she has responded op, seriously life is for living, not faffing around.
    The opposite of what you know...is also true
  • fibonarchie
    fibonarchie Posts: 975 Forumite
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    ska_lover wrote: »
    Tell him to send the bloody email and stop faffing around

    I agree - sh*t or get off the pot..
    Signature Removed by Forum Team ..thanks to somebody reporting a witty and decades-old Kenny Everett quote as 'offensive'!!
  • ska_lover
    ska_lover Posts: 3,773 Forumite
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    fibonarchie wrote: »
    I agree - sh*t or get off the pot..

    Hahahahahha Great way of putting it
    The opposite of what you know...is also true
  • Kynthia
    Kynthia Posts: 5,668 Forumite
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    I struggle to believe she didn't mention there was a problem before breaking up with him. Women usually try to fix a relationship before ending it, especially if they're not ending it because their feelings have faded but because of a fixable problem. So once she reached the point of ending it she was possibly at the point of no return, and has now had three months so she's likely to have moved on. I'd say he should leave it as it's not like they were married or had children together. It's only going to be awkward for her to get his email and he's either going to have an uncomfortable response or the agony of no response at all.
    Don't listen to me, I'm no expert!
  • Jojo_the_Tightfisted
    Jojo_the_Tightfisted Posts: 27,228 Forumite
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    Eighteen months and he could only manage to say he liked her at the point of breaking up?

    Leave the woman alone. She's done with him - and her interpretation of being contacted after three months is likely to be 'Somebody hasn't managed to get laid, then'.
    I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.
    colinw wrote: »
    Yup you are officially Rock n Roll :D
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