taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

ftbwannabe · 3 August 2018 at 12:50PM

Ha, there's me wishing my life away with the wrong dates. (Hope your eldest has a great birthday btw!)
BF is talking about getting a vape, too. I can usually manage cold turkey as long as I get a few days clear to suffer withdrawals in & some gum for when I'm going to struggle. Key is chewing it before I get too strung out, not waiting til then. Fingers crossed it'll work that way again next week, then I just need to never ever say 'just 1' again.
I had forgotten I have that meerkat 241 cinema offer too, that's good to remember! Our nearest Odeon is nowhere near as nice as that Luxe one sounds, though.

Scott-Weiland · 3 August 2018 at 12:58PM

Haha i hope the no smoking mission works, you can do it Efes i have being vaping 3 months now i have had 1 or 2 slips but i feel so much better for it and so does my bank balance. I also take lozenges bought from poundland to help with at work when its really stressful.

efes_shareholder · 3 August 2018 at 1:10PM

Then Climb aboard the non smoking bus Scott , more the merrier
I mentioned early in my diary I gave up for 10 years and off all the choices I have made in life , given the chance this is the one I would choose to change in a heartbeat - Stupidly I thought I could just have the odd one when times were stressful.
In all honesty , it stayed stressful but with an expensive habit in tow

I will keep a look out for the lozenges , anything that will help - I really don't want to put on weight in the crusade , a couple of pounds is fine but no going up a clothes size

Shall we all convince ourselves that if we ever purse our lips around another nicotine stick then we vanish in a !!!!!! of smoke never to be seen again , game over ?

FTW - cinema is so expensive , we only go meerkat days , i think the odeon are going to roll the luxe out across the board - if you get the chance , experience it , its great x

efes_shareholder · 6 August 2018 at 9:00AM

So today is the day that the dreaded weed will be no more - I have a handful of nicotine sticks left and have the vape charged and the patches to hand - My spends are going to decrease significantly as I won't be popping in to the shop each day. I have also told the mothership that I won't be popping in to the shop for her every day either.
She chain smokes , she will admit to 20 a day but its closer to 30 and having no car , will regularly message me to pick her more ciggerettes up and then be a bit peeved if I haven't seen the message - THERE IS NOTHING TO STOP HER MAKING THE SHORT WALK TO THE SHOP HERSELF and in my own mindset , I can not allow myself to make a purchase from the behind the till cabinet whether it be funded by myself or not !!

On the subject of the mothership , I am finding it really difficult at the moment living at home - she is off a different standard to me when it comes to housework and the overall environment and thinks the house is "lived in" rather then messy - I have had to chuck this in the bucket for my own sanity and as long as my own room is how i like it there isn't much I can do !! HOWEVER the thing that is annoying me and whether I am right to get annoyed I can't decide is I can't leave any goodies for when I fancy them in the fridge without her helping her herself. I will put a bit of chocolate in the fridge and if I haven't eaten it within a day or so she seems to think its fare game to help herself and will tell me " well you weren't eating it"
It's grating me , its rude ! Just ask ! there is nothing more irritating then thinking you have a bottle of wine or a little bit of chocolate in the fridge for the evening when you get home from work to find that some greedy so and so has got there first !!!
I do think there could be some stern words when I get home from work later.

In other news , a nice day out at the coast with my best mate on saturday - I did the motoring and she bought my dinner in exchange , spent a little but less then had budgeted and came home slightly sunblessed and shattered
Yesterday , no spends which is great and not anticipating any today
All the direct debits have been and gone and I am tentatively expecting a surplus balance in my account at the end of the month

NelliePie · 6 August 2018 at 9:41AM

Well done with taking the first steps in quitting again - its a common theme through these DFW diaries that when people look at what needs 'tidying up ' in their finances, they take a look at other areas of their life that need 'tidying up' too. Make the most of this new motivation! Have you thought of saving each of those £8 that you would have spent in a separate pot, for either a treat at the end of the month or to make a contribution to a debt or stick it in a house fund for when you're ready to move out - seeing something useful/fun come out of the money may keep you focused because you know the difference it can make. Even if you're only saving £8 per week that's £416 per year.

Conversations may need to be had with your mother regarding the cleanliness but also try to remember it's her house too so she may not respond in the way you'd like. With regards to the fridge - can you suggest having your own shelf and anything that's on that shelf is specific for you and not fair game? Or so what my mam did when we were kids, she (like me) likes her chocolates really cold so used to hide them in the freezer in an empty bag of broccoli - we didn't go looking in there!

You're doing really well, once the novelty of the newness has worn off it will start to get harder as it becomes less exciting but try to stay motivated by seeing those numbers go down and it'll soon become second nature so you won't even think about it. Look back at where you started and see how far you've come already! Keep going

efes_shareholder · 6 August 2018 at 10:25AM

I'm very mindful of its her house and its cheaper for me to be there then elsewhere however sometimes I think she forgets that I live there too - she obviously is very set in her ways and I need to fit in to how she does things - Its myself and my sister who do a big clean up for her every few weeks but it becomes disheartening when you walk in the next day and it looks like its been burgarled. I also pay her quite well for my boardings , my rent amounts up to what some people in the north pay for a 2 bedroom house !
Its just blooming annoying that you keep something aside for when you fancy it and then she decides to fancy it in the meantime and completely disregard that it isn't hers !!!!! I am going to be cross about it when I get home overwise it will go in one ear and out the other as it isn't the first occassion
Offering to replace it is obviously the correction however that does mean I will have to go and purchase it - the reason its there is to save me having too !!!!!
I will keep my eye out on ebay etc for a fridge for my room which has a lock on the door !!

Thanks Nellie for the reminder - some days it seems like I am getting nowhere and not making any real in roads however when I get like this , I go back over my bank account to this time last year .........wading deep in to my 2k overdraft that i now maybe dip my toe in come the end of the month , £4700 on my credit card , £1200 on my very account and 3 defaulted accounts on my credit report and then I know I am making progress
It took a little bit of a helping hand with the money from the ex however the corner has been turned
I haven't purchased using the credit card for 6 months ( with the exception of car hire for obvious reasons ) , my very account is down to £250 which is all BNPL with a payment plan in place by me so that I don't incur their ludicrous interest , the defaults are now all settled and the credit card reduced to 3.5k which is now all on 0%
This time last year I would tap my card and hope that the bank would say yes and just accept that my salary would go in and the overdraft would start again
I'm also giving a lot of consideration to my social life and not accepting every invent - at one time it felt like I would go to the opening of an envelope - Next month a few of my friends are off to a weekender and I know I'll be envious when I see their fun on social media however there are other things I would rather do and just have to wait for.
I can't do everything

ftbwannabe · 6 August 2018 at 11:10AM

Good luck with no smoking! I didn't have any at the weekend but it's the week, at work, where I tend to slip. We can do this, we've done it before.
It won't work for wine, but would she be deterred if you had a tupperware in the fridge that was just yours? One with like, 100 elastic bands round the outside & 2 squares of Dairy Milk inside? Maybe a label on the outside saying 'Broccoli' ;-)

efes_shareholder · 6 August 2018 at 11:21AM

Thanks FTW - I can't let it beat me and I look forward to not been ruled by my need to smoke and smelling like an old ashtray
it really is the most disgusting habit - I don't want my kids to nurse me through some smoking related illness in years to come so its for everyones benefit

I'm loathe to have to hide things to make sure they are still there , these things may be minimal value and it may be petty but I just find it incredibly selfish and poor mannered to help yourself to something just because it takes your fancy

efes_shareholder · 6 August 2018 at 11:52AM

I was hoping today would be a NSD however when i did my tyre pressures on saturday I noticed I was missing a dust cap.

Ordered a new set from ebay with a mini logo for £2.95 , my car is old and a proper workhorse but I love her dearly and do like her to look the part
No expense spared
I'm hoping if I look after her she will reward me by running forever

Rebecca01 · 7 August 2018 at 10:32AM

Hi
I have just read your whole diary. You are really engaging.

You are doing so well but you remind me of me as I live for holidays too and love the excitement of researching one. Maybe we should have been travel agents.

Hope you manage to quit the smoking for good. x

taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

Comments

Categories

Get our FREE Weekly email full of deals & guides - and it’s spam-free