Heartbroken -Terminal illness

svain · 20 May 2018 at 7:53PM

seashore22 wrote: »

I have to agree with this. As my husband said when he was diagnosed with cancer, "life is terminal" and there's no avoiding it. While this man may well be ill he really doesn't sound like he is in the stages of terminal illness as most of us understand it.

Edit - my husband was diagnosed 10 years ago and is currently free of cancer, but minus one kidney. Chances are he will outlive me.

Im guessing i may be misinterpreting this, but having lost my partner to a terminal illness i am curious as to whether you suggesting "life is terminal" is somehow worse prognosis than someone with a limited life expectancy?

hb2 · 20 May 2018 at 8:02PM

OP, I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this. My OH and I were engaged 4 months after our first date, so I understand that length of a relationship is not necessarily an indicator of the depth of feelings.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted · 20 May 2018 at 8:10PM

Have you seen proof that he is actually terminally ill - or is it possible that he benefited from you being super sympathetic until he got bored or somebody threatened to expose him as a fraud?

Whatever the case, he's now your ex. His choice, it hurts, I'm sorry he's dumped you. But if there's a possibility he hasn't been quite as honest as you think, maybe that would stop you agonising over him?

seashore22 · 20 May 2018 at 8:29PM

svain wrote: »

Im guessing i may be misinterpreting this, but having lost my partner to a terminal illness i am curious as to whether you suggesting "life is terminal" is somehow worse prognosis than someone with a limited life expectancy?

It wasn't a worse prognosis.

It was a recognition that none of us can hold on to life forever and that everyone is going to die of something. It was one man's way of coping with the a difficult situation and being determined that life is for living, no matter how long you have.

I'm sorry if it came across clumsily.

It's a shame that the op's boyfriend is reacting in this way, but I do think the title is slightly dramatic. We also have no way of knowing exactly why the relationship has broken down. Maybe it's the illness, maybe it isn't.

I think terminal illness is used medically when life expectancy is quite short, maybe months or a year or two at most. The boyfriend has been living fairly healthily (from what the op says) for years and there seems no immediate risk, so I don't think it sounds terminal as it is most often used.

svain · 20 May 2018 at 9:26PM

seashore22 wrote: »

It wasn't a worse prognosis.

It was a recognition that none of us can hold on to life forever and that everyone is going to die of something. It was one man's way of coping with the a difficult situation and being determined that life is for living, no matter how long you have.

I'm sorry if it came across clumsily.

It's a shame that the op's boyfriend is reacting in this way, but I do think the title is slightly dramatic. We also have no way of knowing exactly why the relationship has broken down. Maybe it's the illness, maybe it isn't.

I think terminal illness is used medically when life expectancy is quite short, maybe months or a year or two at most. The boyfriend has been living fairly healthily (from what the op says) for years and there seems no immediate risk, so I don't think it sounds terminal as it is most often used.

As far as i remember (it was a while ago), terminal illness is quite straightforward to diagnose ... life expectancy, however, is more difficult to predict

Poor_Single_lady · 22 May 2018 at 6:31AM

OP I think the heat is making people quite insensitive. Sorry for what you are going through.

Heartbroken -Terminal illness

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