Tips on staying calm when very nervous

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  • Saffythecat
    Saffythecat Posts: 91 Forumite
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    Nit linked to driving, but I rub lavender oil round my nose if I am really nervous (eg, dentist appointment) and find it really helps.
  • suejb2
    suejb2 Posts: 1,918 Forumite
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    I remember my S.I.L in the lead to up to stress induced situations, exam, interviews and others would use smell to change the situation. I mean she would use smell a to install nice positive thoughts.
    She mostly would use Sun tan lotion as she associated that smell with fun, relaxing stress free times. It may be mind over matter, but, she passed her exams, got the job and passed her driving test first time.
    She used sun tan lotion but yours could be a perfume, fabric conditioner, air freshener even . Something that provokes good thoughts.
    Life is like a bath, the longer you are in it the more wrinkly you become.
  • onedaysomeday
    onedaysomeday Posts: 561 Forumite
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    sstevo19 wrote: »
    Thanks suejb2 my instructor has suggested taking a few lessons a week, but I've been working a lot of extra hours recently, so when I can, I'm hopefully going to have more than one a week. But he understands that my schedule and finances may not allow for that. I have the money for lessons, just not the time. I think having less time between lessons might help as I won't as much time to dwell on it.

    Thanks for the suggestion though.

    I found when I started doing 2 lessons a week (had to pick up the pace before my instructor retired lol) that I felt more comfortable in the lessons as there was less time between them. I went a week and a half between lessons during that stage once and I felt a bit uneasy at first as I wasn't used to that big of a gap, but it does get easier :)
    Just trying to make up for past mistakes and work towards the future I want :hello:
  • sstevo19
    sstevo19 Posts: 1,493 Forumite
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    suejb2 wrote: »
    I remember my S.I.L in the lead to up to stress induced situations, exam, interviews and others would use smell to change the situation. I mean she would use smell a to install nice positive thoughts.
    She mostly would use Sun tan lotion as she associated that smell with fun, relaxing stress free times. It may be mind over matter, but, she passed her exams, got the job and passed her driving test first time.
    She used sun tan lotion but yours could be a perfume, fabric conditioner, air freshener even . Something that provokes good thoughts.

    Thanks, I might try this. I do find a good smell relaxing. I will definitely try this.
  • FluffityBunny
    FluffityBunny Posts: 222 Forumite
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    It may sound stupid but maybe try the technique I'm using to calm my 3 year old with when she gets stressy.


    Say the words as you are doing it



    "Smell the flower" (inhale through nose)

    "Blow out the candles" (exhale through mouth)




    I'm trying it myself as well and it does slow down your breathing and help you relax.
  • esmy
    esmy Posts: 1,341 Forumite
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    Whenever I'm about to do something I'm nervous about, I say to myself 'This time tomorrow, it will all be over', and usually it works *



    * did not apply to labour and birth!
  • sstevo19
    sstevo19 Posts: 1,493 Forumite
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    Just a quick update for everyone!

    I had a driving lesson this morning and I was a lot calmer before this one than before the previous one. I was still a bit nervous but I wasn't as panicked as I was before.

    FluffityBunny Your tip has really helped a lot, it helps me slow down and breath deeply and calmly. Thanks!

    Hopefully next week, I'll be a lot calmer as well :)
  • teddysmum
    teddysmum Posts: 9,471 Forumite
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    Through yoga because of stress lessons, I was taught a combination of the above breathing suggestions.


    Breathing is in through the nose and whispered out, with a tiny gap between. Meanwhile think about what the breath is doing(going in or out).


    To occupy your hands, place both palms on the abdomen and do three slow breaths (as above) into and out of your hands. Then repeat with palms just below the breasts and finally with finger tips at the base of the throat.


    This can also help to fall asleep when your mind keeps on churning over things.
  • barbiedoll
    barbiedoll Posts: 5,326 Forumite
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    When I was learning to drive, I found that one of the things that made me most nervous, was the thought of doing something “stupid” whilst on the road. I live in London, and when stalling at a roundabout, or taking more than 0.2 seconds to pull away at the lights, I’d be waiting for the inevitable horn blasting from an impatient driver behind me.

    My instructor was brilliant. As he would say.....”What’s the worst that’s going to happen?” Who cares if someone behind you is a minute late on their journey, they’ll soon make up the time. So what if you look like an idiot who stalls the car? Plenty of experienced drivers still do so!
    And yes, that line of cars behind you probably are cursing you and your slow driving, but they were all learners once, they’ll just have to be a bit patient for a change.

    I used the deep breathing technique when I had my tests. And oddly enough, once I got in the car with the examiner, I felt a bit better.....there’s no turning back at that point, you’ve just got to get on with it.

    It’s good to be slightly nervous, it shows that you’re taking your task seriously. Better that, than overconfidence. Good luck!
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  • doingitanyway
    doingitanyway Posts: 8,755 Forumite
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    barbiedoll wrote: »
    When I was learning to drive, I found that one of the things that made me most nervous, was the thought of doing something “stupid” whilst on the road. I live in London, and when stalling at a roundabout, or taking more than 0.2 seconds to pull away at the lights, I’d be waiting for the inevitable horn blasting from an impatient driver behind me.

    My instructor was brilliant. As he would say.....”What’s the worst that’s going to happen?” Who cares if someone behind you is a minute late on their journey, they’ll soon make up the time. So what if you look like an idiot who stalls the car? Plenty of experienced drivers still do so!
    And yes, that line of cars behind you probably are cursing you and your slow driving, but they were all learners once, they’ll just have to be a bit patient for a change.

    I used the deep breathing technique when I had my tests. And oddly enough, once I got in the car with the examiner, I felt a bit better.....there’s no turning back at that point, you’ve just got to get on with it.

    It’s good to be slightly nervous, it shows that you’re taking your task seriously. Better that, than overconfidence. Good luck!
    A very helpful post. Thank you.
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