Tips on staying calm when very nervous

sstevo19

Hi all, I'm hoping you guys could be of some help. I'm hoping this is in the right section.

I've recently started having driving lessons after putting it off for a long time due to nerves. What doesn't help is I'm quite an anxious person normally. My instructor is lovely, very calm and patient, but I'm getting myself panicked before and during my lessons. But I am enjoying my lessons, strangely, and want to carry on with them.

Is there any tips you guys could share some tips on what helps calm you down when your extremely nervous and panicked. I just want be calm for once.

Thanks in advance.

[Deleted User]

Just getting on with it, don't think about it. It's pretty weird as much as I hate the recent lunch time interviews I seem to be getting I probably do better in them because when at work in the morning I just don't get time to think and build up anything else.

As someone made more nervous by driving instructor and it took 4 years to get passed and I kept hearing you'll never do this, a couple even stopped lessons telling me I'd never do it.
So I just wouldn't let them see me nervous and if I do have a nice instructor defo focus on that.
Anyway I've been driving 7 years now as a rather confident driver after doing a lot of miles. (the first year I would simply drive to work which was not far then and back, wrong!) Doing intense driving courses helped me rather then weekly lessons toward the end when thinking about the test. I still remember going out with this most silly innate unexplainable grin on the morning of the day I finally past. I remember my heart beating the first time I left the A120 for the M11! A year earlier I couldn't bear the initial thought of driving to a small nearby local town when my job changed so you have to push yourself.

hollydays

Deep breathing is the best solution

sstevo19

Thanks guys, I'll try your ideas. I'll try not to think about it. I've got another lesson on Monday. I'll not to think about it between now and Monday. I'll try to keep myself distracted and not to dwell on it too much. Hopefully I'll be calmer on Monday.

Red-Squirrel_2

Some great techniques in this book for getting rid of unhelpful/unwanted thoughts:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Cognitive-Behavioural-Therapy-Dummies-Branch/dp/0470665416

gettingtheresometime

I don't know if this actually works or not but before your lesson stand somewhere quiet in a superman pose, closed eyes breathing deeply.

Lrimas

I had the exact same thing with driving when I just started.

The worst was my driving test (I don't like tests either). Luckily the guy who did the test was brilliant and told me: "get out of the car and walk around it until you calm down. The entire car is shaking with you". I still have no idea how I passed the test.

How I deal with anxiety now: this is going to sound silly but a fantasy book helped me a lot (The Emperor's Soul by Brandon Sanderson). At some point in the book the main character thinks: "I have to become someone different. I have to become a person that can deal with this." These days I pretend that I can deal with whatever it is that is making me nervous and that usually works.

Good luck! You have this :T

suejb2

Can you take a crash course of lessons ,hate that term when linked with driving!

Can you take a block of lessons get them over and done giving you less time to over think, and get the confidence.

sstevo19

suejb2 wrote: »

Can you take a crash course of lessons ,hate that term when linked with driving!

Can you take a block of lessons get them over and done giving you less time to over think, and get the confidence.

Thanks suejb2 my instructor has suggested taking a few lessons a week, but I've been working a lot of extra hours recently, so when I can, I'm hopefully going to have more than one a week. But he understands that my schedule and finances may not allow for that. I have the money for lessons, just not the time. I think having less time between lessons might help as I won't as much time to dwell on it.

Thanks for the suggestion though.

sstevo19

Lrimas wrote: »

I had the exact same thing with driving when I just started.

The worst was my driving test (I don't like tests either). Luckily the guy who did the test was brilliant and told me: "get out of the car and walk around it until you calm down. The entire car is shaking with you". I still have no idea how I passed the test.

How I deal with anxiety now: this is going to sound silly but a fantasy book helped me a lot (The Emperor's Soul by Brandon Sanderson). At some point in the book the main character thinks: "I have to become someone different. I have to become a person that can deal with this." These days I pretend that I can deal with whatever it is that is making me nervous and that usually works.

Good luck! You have this :T

Thanks!

I try and get on with things when I'm anxious but it does tend to be noticeable that I'm nervous. My hands can shake quite a lot and I get all hot and flustered.

sstevo19

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

I don't know if this actually works or not but before your lesson stand somewhere quiet in a superman pose, closed eyes breathing deeply.

I'm definitely going to try this, thanks!