PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING

Hello Forumites! In order to help keep the Forum a useful, safe and friendly place for our users, discussions around non-MoneySaving matters are not permitted per the Forum rules. While we understand that mentioning house prices may sometimes be relevant to a user's specific MoneySaving situation, we ask that you please avoid veering into broad, general debates about the market, the economy and politics, as these can unfortunately lead to abusive or hateful behaviour. Threads that are found to have derailed into wider discussions may be removed. Users who repeatedly disregard this may have their Forum account banned. Please also avoid posting personally identifiable information, including links to your own online property listing which may reveal your address. Thank you for your understanding.

Saving for a deposit - my story

Options
Hello friends,



Age 28

I currently live with parents

Saving for a deposit to buy my first home

I have a help to buy ISA account which started in December 2015. I put the maximum I possibly can in this account. 1k at start up, plus 200 followed by 200 paid in on a monthly basis with out fail.

I am self employed plus I have part time job

I work 7 days a week

My only free time is Sunday morning / afternoon. This is the on,y time I can relax away from work environment during this time I go for walks in the country side, or to town to the movies

I use to have lots of friends, go out to the pub ect but now I don't have many friends as I am committed to my jobs, so my friends really are my work friends.

I have been working like this and saving for 3 years.

I am about 10k away, my aim is to save 25k. My target should be reached in 1 years time providing I don't have any set backs financially or health wise. Cheapest houses on my area start around 90k / 100k for a small terraced house so that's where I aim to start.

I want to talk my situation, the financial and emotional difficulties I have been faced with during the passed 3 years.

Firstly my back ground:

I always knew I wanted to buy a house from a young age, however through out my teen years and early 20 I never knew how hard it would be to get on the ladder. I had limited information as my parent didn't know very much about mortgages as they rented all there life. I learnt as I grew up from Google, people, news, radio.

After renting myself in my early 20's I decided I wanted to buy. So I moved home and started saving aged 26.

My parent has No money for me what so ever. As they have No savings, investments or property. So I have to do this alone, my self, work for it. On the other hand if money was handed to me via a bank of mum and dad would I be happy ? Well not really, as I have learned the hard way, when people lend or give you money they kind of own you. If my parents gave me the money I'm sure they would have expectation of me, if for example I had to say No I can't do something for them, the fact they gave me money would be thrown in my face time and time again, I don't want to live my life on a leech, repaying them back for the rest of my life in such a way because they would say you wouldn't be in that house if it was t for us ect...No Thank you.


Now people say that living at home with parents and paying board is the best way. My parents generally argues with each other. That plus there are rules, yes even at my age, and I have to work..hard, save. They watch what I buy ect, am I taking the p*** kind of thing, so they like to see my progress. Too many parcels is an issue, new cloths ect, I have to save every penny. Living at home is not easy as you get older that's what I think.

Over time it has grown on me, I notice where my money goes more, I think twice before spending, I feel guilty when I have a treat or two...and yes look a 20 something who doesn't ware fashnable up to date, named clothing...I don't even own a smart phone. it's kind of depressing.

Enjoyment is very limited, my free time as I said consists of walks, Also peddle bike, or a dive out, I need car for my job. To be fair I have to take time out like this or I would go mad. I mean sometimes old people ask me what I been up to, and the answer is just working, there reply is oh god at your age, your a young man enjoy it...I mean really ? Enjoy my youth how ? I have nothing, I need a roof over my head...oh and then a pension !

The other thing is set backs. Financially.

It's not just a case of saving for a few years and putting money away and doing with out then everything is great on the other side. No, No, No...

Let's talk about the things I between, during your saving time, things that happen in life that cost money...fines, car accidents, insurance claims, a holiday to keep you sain, a relationship, redundancy, laid off work, sack, ect...set backs... And health issues, we all get ill. These set you back months or years depending on severity.

The over all work load is extremely difficult, unless you have a high paying job, I don't.

A holiday once a year is needed. The work life balance does not exist to me rite now.

Too tired for a gymnasium, might go for a jog if I feel up to it.

Relaxation at night / soft music / meditation

Trying to keep a positive mind is an issue

To put life on hold is probably the most difficult part for a 20 something.

People say you will get there..and it's likely I will when I reach 30 years old. And that's the age they say first time buyers are now, usually, Part of me thinks 30 is kind of old. Youth has gone. And burnt out from working.

One of the hard parts for me is when I look at someone who has a different life to me. Someone who's parents paid the deposit for them or helped them in to business, good job, nice car, big houses. Different family life, different to mine. Different to everything I know...those people don't do what I do, they are secure, free to explore the world of business, higher paying jobs enjoy the luxuries on long the way.

Part of me thinks I'm missing out on life, not appreciating my youth, enjoying what I have. Instead I am looking a head, thinking of money and security for my future. I'll be old before I know it...
«1

Comments

  • Cakeguts
    Cakeguts Posts: 7,627 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post
    Options
    You are not alone. All the older people on this forum had to save like this to buy a house on their own. I had two jobs. When I had bought my house I didn't go on holiday because I could afford to. This was in the 1980s people think it was easier then. It wasn't.

    What you have to do is to get rid of everything you don't need. Holidays you can do really cheaply by buying a tent or see if you can get one on freecycle. Don't by anything on finance. If you can get to work on public transport do that and don't have a car. The house comes first above everything else you have to be very single minded. You won't have a car accident if you don't own a car. Get rid of the car and use public transport and already you will have more savings. Only keep the car if you must have one for your job if you don't need it for your job use public transport.
  • Davesnave
    Davesnave Posts: 34,741 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary Photogenic First Post
    Options
    This is not the right forum for all this cr**
    Maybe not, but being polite costs nothing....


    ...Oh, hang on, you're an accountant! :rotfl:
  • freeman3030
    freeman3030 Posts: 209 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Options
    Having read your post, I feel your struggle. First of all, congratulations on having done so well so far. It's far to easy to get yourself down when all you feel like you're doing is working - but it's to achieve your goal and you will get there.
    Living with parents is hard, especially when you've already moved out and have moved back. I did this and you feel like your every move is being watched. You can't go out without being asked where you're going!
    Perhaps take this opportunity to reassess what you want from life. Would you like a relationship? You're working so hard and when you get your house you're probably still going to have to work as hard to maintain savings, the increased cost of living alone etc.
    I'm not saying a relationship is for everyone, but in reality it would ease take the strain off of saving and buying alone as well as having company.
    When you say your missing out, what in particular do you feel like you're missing out on?
    Perhaps retrain the way you're thinking, whist you make not have lots of spare time, you are doing a brilliant job in helping to secure your future. There are a lot of people out there, spending and not thinking ahead so you're miles ahead of them in this respect.
  • Pixie5740
    Pixie5740 Posts: 14,515 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post Photogenic First Anniversary
    Options
    At least in the 80s the options weren't just living with parents, buy, or rent privately with effectively no more security than 6 months. I mean someone in the 80s and early 90s must have been occupying all that social housing which was then purchased under Right to Buy because there's naff all left.
  • steampowered
    steampowered Posts: 6,176 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post
    Options
    Cakeguts wrote: »
    You are not alone. All the older people on this forum had to save like this to buy a house on their own. I had two jobs. When I had bought my house I didn't go on holiday because I could afford to. This was in the 1980s people think it was easier then. It wasn't.
    Out of interest, when you were able to move out from your parents, and when you were able to buy your first house?

    The average age of a first time buyer is now 30, or 32 in London. It wasn't like that in the 1980s!

    I'm sure it was hard in the 1980s too, but it is harder now.
  • juniordoc
    juniordoc Posts: 366 Forumite
    Options
    Cakeguts wrote: »
    All the older people on this forum had to save like this to buy a house on their own. people think it was easier then. It wasn't.

    Not strictly true, income ratios are now double what they were 20 years ago, so objectively speaking it is now twice as hard!
  • LottieLou
    LottieLou Posts: 189 Forumite
    Options
    I have to mention that you sound quite depressed with it all!

    "Trying to keep a positive mind/putting life on hold" etc...is it really worth it all?

    I can understand you wanting your own home, like you I did too from a young age. And like you worked very hard to save up and did make sacrifices, as we all do.

    However, this must all be within reason. With balance! And it doesn't sound to me from your post like you enjoy life very much at the moment. Time is something you never get back.

    It might take you longer to get to your ultimate goal of home ownership, but my advice would be to find the balance and make sure you are enjoying your life.
  • moomin82
    Options
    I've been reading your thread at work. Sounds as though you are making good progress. I am 35 and just starting to save my deposit. Feeling old and as though I will have no life now, no holidays, just working! Hope there is light at the end of the tunnel..
    Achievements:
    9 Aug 2021: Achieved a perfect credit score on Experian (999/999 points - Excellent)
    Debt free date: 23 July 2021.
    Next goals: Save deposit as a first time buyer.
    Find ways to increase income
    Further reduce budget/ sell old stuff

    Goals for October 2018: Eliminate unneccessary spending
  • Natbag
    Natbag Posts: 1,563 Forumite
    Photogenic Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    Options
    If you already have £15k saved, and are looking at £95-£100k houses you already have a very good deposit. Are you wanting to wait simply to have smaller mortgage payments when you do buy? It may definitely be worth crunching some numbers and looking at some mortgage deals now to see if you can make that first step on the property ladder sooner than you hoped.
    Property buying/selling timeline - currently into week 21
    04/12/20: Both properties listed for sale
    11/01/21: Offers accepted on both sales & on our joint purchase
    25/01/21: Identity checks completed, solicitors instructed
    27/01/21: Purchase survey & valuation complete, mortgage offer received 
    05/02/21: Reduction agreed on partner's sale (under-valuation) & on purchase. Mortgage offer amended
    08/02/21: Buyers pack returned to solicitor - sellers packs already returned
    26/02/21: Partner's sale contract signed
    10/03/21: Purchase searches all back
    16/03/21: My sale contract signed
    28/03/21: Purchase enquiries satisfied, Title Report & contracts issued, contracts signed & returned
    11/05/21: Still waiting on final enquiry in the adjoining chain to be resolved. Consent to break the chain granted, instruction to move to exchange given.
    17/05/21: All parties agreed to June 3rd for completion
    27/05/21: Exchanged on my sale only
    28/05/21: ALL EXCHANGED!
    03/06/21: Completion
  • Mr_Costcutter
    Options
    Simon, I respect your honesty and determination to work hard to succeed - and succeed you will :)

    Ha, when you reach 60+, you will realise that 30 is really young :)
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 343.4K Banking & Borrowing
  • 250.2K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449.8K Spending & Discounts
  • 235.6K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 608.5K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 173.2K Life & Family
  • 248.1K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.9K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards