Can’t afford to live

Chris2222 · 31 August 2018 at 7:58PM

I don’t know who to talk to or where to go so if anyone could help that would be great.

I can’t afford to live with the debts, rent, child support and cost of living on my salary.

I have recently left the army after 7.5 years service and have faced with having to live with my parents as I broke up from my children’s mother 3 years ago. I used to take the boys and stay with my parents every weekend I wasn’t working but now I’ve left he army I’m living there full time looking for a cheap place to rent.

My ex got me into a lot of debt and recently written off my finance car drink driving (second time offence and lucky to not face jail time) and I’m picking up the financial pieces of her selfishness. I have my boys every weekend and I used to pay £300 a month maintenance (not through CSA it was an agreement between us) when I was on £30k a year but now I work as an apprentice telecoms engineer on £20k a year.

As my salary has reduced greatly so has my payments to maintenance and now she’s going through CSA. After paying maintenance, debts, and estimated rent and council tax (for when I move out) I’ll literally have no money for food, car insurance, fuel etc.

It’s even got to the point where my ex is unhappy with the reduction of maintenance she’s said she’ll stop me seeing my boys as much so she gets more money from me!

After a year of being on £20k my salary will increase by £5k which will be more feasible but in the meantime I don’t know what I can do as I’m not entitled to a penny whilst my children’s mother doesn’t work at all and reaps all the benefits. It’s depressing and demoralising living with my parents at my age and I need advice on who to talk to.

[Deleted User] · 31 August 2018 at 8:04PM

My initial thoughts would be that the Royal British Legion may be able to offer help and advice.
I would point out to her that if she stops you seeing your children you will go to court for access.
As for CSA have they been told about your drop in income?
Whilst having to go back living with parents is never ideal it can be the cheapest option for now.

Tabbytabitha · 31 August 2018 at 8:40PM

venison wrote: »

My initial thoughts would be that the Royal British Legion may be able to offer help and advice.
I would point out to her that if she stops you seeing your children you will go to court for access.
As for CSA have they been told about your drop in income?
Whilst having to go back living with parents is never ideal it can be the cheapest option for now.

I was thinking more of ssafa.

https://www.ssafa.org.uk/help-you

NeilCr · 31 August 2018 at 8:42PM

British Legion/SSafa possibly

I'd definitely suggest contacting a debt charity for help in that area. If you are working then one you can deal with by phone/email like Stepchange/NationalDebtline may be better than one you have to visit like CAB.

xylophone · 31 August 2018 at 8:49PM

Have you tried SSAFA for support and a listening ear?

https://www.ssafa.org.uk/about-us

Life is difficult at the moment but you have a career and your earnings and prospects will improve.

You mention looking for a cheap place to rent but assuming that your parents are content for you to lodge with them, would it be wise to move out in your current financial circumstances?

Presumably the CSA will take account of your reduced salary in setting the maintenance?

And any shenanigans about refusing access to your children should be referred to the court.

Autumn86 · 31 August 2018 at 8:49PM

If you provide a detailed list of your monthly expenditure, people then may be able to advise you on how to budget your income better...

As you say you earn 20k per year currently,
which whilst is a low salary (well if you live in South East England), there are millions of other people in the UK who also live on that salary (or lower) and yet manage to afford to live, even renting privately.

You say you have £300 per month outgoing as child-support money,
but so what are all your other monthly outgoings please?

Ms_Chocaholic · 31 August 2018 at 8:52PM

Are you able to stay with your parents a little longer than you planned or until at least some of the debts are paid off, thus freeing up more money to pay your debts (as it's cheaper to live with your parents than live alone, though I presume you do pay board).

w06 · 31 August 2018 at 9:01PM

I've heard good things about SSAFA, would be worth contacting them

Ms_Chocaholic · 31 August 2018 at 9:04PM

Your take home pay on £20k should be about £1,400 pcm
£300 child maintenance leaves OP with £1,100 pcm

xylophone · 31 August 2018 at 9:12PM

leaves OP with £1,100 pcm

He does mention a lot of debt built up by his children's mother and the fact that she wrote off his car which he was buying on finance.

boliston · 31 August 2018 at 9:16PM

i thought it was 15% of net (about £1400) which would be about £210 rather than £300
£300 would equate to a salary of about £31000pa

Can’t afford to live

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