Overwhelmed and ashamed

wow... Its been busy in here! Thanks for all the messages everyone, really appreciated.

Yes, we do feel good and positive. Yes our debts are massive!! Actually, they are even bigger than that!! However, we are fortunate that we have good salaries, we have credit at low interest rates so we have the ability to tackle this.

A very short time ago I felt overwhelmed about how long this would take and about what might happen if I lost my job, I wasn't around etc. Now, I don't feel too worried about how long it will take for the debt to go down. Instead, I see this as a much needed lifestyle change.

It is early days, but I think we both feel fairly confident with what our new lifestyle looks like whilst we bring down the debt. I therefore like to think when it is all cleared and we have an extra £1200+ a month that we are not paying off on debt that life wont look massively different day to day. Yes we will be able to hopefully help our kids who will be young adults etc and hopefully we will be able to save (something I have never done in my 44 years)

I think what is helping is that we still have this £175 a week as living expenses and we can see in that room for treats (like a take away). if I thought we would be on basics or the breadline for 7 years I would be miserable.

When we started this this journey I was embarrassed not to know what was reasonable to spend on food per week or to have as a weekly budget for all those other non regular bills. I was right to be embarrassed and it demonstrated how we were living. We are nice people but we literally had little value for money! For the past 3 weeks we have stuck to the £75 a week for food and that has been with the spending for Christmas. Likewise the £175 for weekly expenses has been comfortable. In truth most of this has been spent on non regular spends. Take this week: We agreed to decorate dd's bedroom as her Christmas. So £22 went on paint and £35 went on a carpet fitter (carpet was bought previously), £10 was given to ds who went on a trip to town with friends (paid for lunch and train), £15 was spent on wine, beer and food for new years party and £35 went on gum shield for dd who plays hockey. So there is £117 on irregular spends. Outside of this there is little else. My DW and I both take home made lunches to work so during the week spend little if anything. We were going to have a takeaway last night but instead agreed to wait until Friday (day we take out new weeks money) and if we have anything from our £175 that will be our treat on Friday.

I know there will be greater tests along the way and we will just have to deal with them. We had friends over who are for the US in the summer and they asked what our plans were. I said we didn't currently have any plans. In the past that might have bothered me. My ds said we are for the US next year! I will tackle that another time with him/them- but one step at a time.

We haven't shared the extent of the challenge with the kids. To tell you the truth I don't think they would understand. We have explained that as their mums job has changed we don't have the same income and will need to be more careful. To be honest they understand that and seem to have adapted. Like me, I am sure it will be more challenging to them along the way, particularly when DS realises US next year is not going to happen. But like me and DW they will deal with it.

This was meant to be a quick post! I tend to ramble when I start. But yes I do feel very happy, much happier than I felt in November when I was not aware of the problem. I feel grown up and in control and that is a nice feeling.

Thanks again everyone for taking an interest.