Mother in law nursing home

Could I also suggest that whilst your mother in law still has full mental capacity you suggest to her that she sets up powers of attorney formpwrhaps her son and yourself. It may make it easier for you to help her in any moves if you have authority to act on her behalf.

If she loses mental capacity it will be too late to do this and you will then have to go down a far more difficult and restrictive route of guardianship for her affairs which will not allow you nso much freedom to act on her behalf. You can complete these forms online. Google powers of Attorney - office of Public Guardian and you will find them. There are helpful hints which will help you through the process.

Pixiedust22 wrote: »

Thank you for the fact sheet, that's really useful.

My mother in law is only 67 and her need for care is due to physical illness, but in general you're right about the power of attorney and it's something to keep in mind.

They need to prep it before they need it - you don't act on it until required. 20 years before needed is fine!



Mine left it too late and it has been a nightmare!! I am sometimes angry with them for being too selfish to sort it out, and leaving me with a pile of rubbish to sort out... just quietly angry, to myself!

Pixiedust22 wrote: »

Thank you for the fact sheet, that's really useful.

My mother in law is only 67 and her need for care is due to physical illness, but in general you're right about the power of attorney and it's something to keep in mind.

Not something to keep in mind, it is something that should be high on her list of priorities. People of all ages lose capacity unexpectedly through sudden illness or accident, and the day after it’s to late, and life becomes very difficult for your nearest and dearest.

Get yours done at the same time.

What happens in Surrey is that we'd first assess your mother in law and determine whether she has care needs that warrant nursing / residential care. Or whether her needs can be met at home and using homecare and local resources. I'm also assuming that your mail is on board with moving when it's mentioned!

If she does have residential care needs. We'd look at placing her in a home that we have a block contract with. If unavailable or nursing care is required. We have an agreed max weekly care rate that we'd try and negotiate with other care homes to see if they'll accept it.
We would agree to out of county placements that meet our agreed weekly rate. We may consider family members topping up the rates but you have to be mindful that if the family member can no longer afford to top up . We may consider transferring your mother in law back to a home in our county if we have an available bed.
Hope this helps.

Pixiedust22 wrote: »

She's still in hospital. It's a very sad situation.

First, have a big hug!!


And shout if you want to talk. Lots of us here have elderly folk needing more care than we can give.



I have had both parents become unsafe to live alone within 12 months of each other.


If they are safe, fed and have each other/ companionship, my work is done.


If they are happy it's a bonus.



What both of them want is to be about 55 again.. ain't gonna happen! It took me ages to toughen up though. They are fiesty thigs and refused all help until it was no longer really their choice.



Finding compromises now saves heartache later.