Help me write a cover letter

ShaunJUK · 15 June 2006 at 11:07PM

I am applying for a Job at PC World

I have to write a cover letter to go with my application form, I havent been out of work for years and I am a little rusty.

Can anyone help me write, here is what I have so far:

Dear Sir/Madam
Please find enclosed a completed application form for employment in your store. This is an ideal job for me given my enthusiasm for computing, my excellent customer service skills, related experience and qualifications.
Computing and electronics have always been an interest of mine, which is why I chose to take my A-Level and HND in Computing. I obtained a disappointing result in my A-Level however this encouraged me to push harder for my HND. I achieved high grades in the units I completed however a cash flow problem meant I had to take a break and seek work.
I worked at Pleasure Island Theme Park in Cleethorpes during my time at college. This helped me to build my customer service skills, often being faced with difficult situations with customers who often approach you concerned about a situation, I learnt to take control , calm the customer down and make them feel they have had a result.
By then I had realised that being able to talk to customers and fully understand their needs was where I excelled. I began work for Lincolnshire Roadcar in 2001,.............................. . however the recent acquisition by Stagecoach Group made me realise that there was no future within the company for someone like myself with higher aspirations. I took this opportunity to hand in my notice and follow my dreams.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely

gerretl · 15 June 2006 at 11:43PM

Hi Shaun.
Can I give the following advice. Firstly, you put sir/madam. If you can, find out the name of the person in charge of recruitment. Remember, they are human too, and like everyone on this planet, blessed with a name. Use it.
You have a cash flow problem. So do we all. Sorry to sound a little harsh, but the person reading the letter may take this to mean that you are desparate. You said you have faced difficult situations, and dealt with them well. Actually, this is the bit of your letter that really sticks out. You sound as if you relished the situation, and a manager would love to hire someone who is willing to deal with customer issues. I don't want to sound patronising, but can I suggest something like the following:
Dear (insert name of manager)
I am applying for the position of (customer service ). I feel I have an excellent combination of the skills, experiences , and qualifications that are needed to make this job a success. Following my A level in computers, I went on to study for an HND. Personal circumstances meant I was unable to complete this course, however, I am looking to recommence my studies at the earliest opportunity. I have recently been working in Pleasure Isalnd Theme Park. This has allowed me to build up my customer service skills, and deal with situations by listening to the customer, and finding a solution that is suitable for everyone. I now wish to move to a company that can offer me more opportunity, such as yourselves.
Reagrds
etc, etc.
Dunno if this helps, but it avoids the negative bits that were inyour letter.
Also, do some research into the company. It pays dividends.

ShaunJUK · 16 June 2006 at 12:22AM

gerretl wrote:

I am looking to recommence my studies at the earliest opportunity.

Thanks for your advice however I read into this that I dont intend on staying with the company, other than that I have used a lot of your advice

ShaunJUK · 16 June 2006 at 12:24AM

I have edited with your suggestions to this:

Dear Sir/Madam

Please find enclosed a completed application form for employment in your store. I feel I have an excellent combination of the skills, experiences, and qualifications that are needed to make this job a success.

Following my A level in computers, I went on to study for an HND. Personal circumstances meant I was unable to complete this course, however, should an opportunity arise I would love to complete my studies.

I have recently been working for Lincolnshire Roadcar and prior to that Pleasure Island Theme Park. Both of these jobs have allowed me to build up my customer service skills, and deal with situations by listening to the customer, and finding a solution that is suitable for everyone. I now wish to move to a company that can offer me more opportunity, such as yourselves.

I have always had an interest in computers and technology, often relied upon by family and friends to set up or maintain computer systems for them, this has enabled me to ensure my knowledge is constantly refreshed with the latest techniques and advances in technology.

Yours sincerely

Shaun Jackson

I dont know who the letter is to as I only popped in on the off chance and the senior sales advisor said someone had just handed in their notice and got me a form, told me to bring it in with a covering letter

gerretl · 16 June 2006 at 7:02AM

I'd hire you

jobbingmusician · 16 June 2006 at 2:01PM

One slight amendment........

Personal circumstances meant I was unable to complete this course, however, should an opportunity arise I would love to complete my studies. I believe that the excellent development and training opportunities at PC World would enable me to develop my skills and contribute to the expansion of the company.

Nothing like buttering them up!

Astaroth · 16 June 2006 at 3:12PM

I would go with something along the lines of Shauns amendments..... covering letters (particularly with application forms where your scope to sell yourself/ show your individuality is severly limited) are frequently over looked. Volume roles are slightly different but the last recruitment I did it would have been more that my whole team could have managed to read every single CV we received even if that is all we did for the month and therefore they were prioritised based on their covering letter.... anyone with the old one line letter of "enclosed is my cv" went straight to the bottom of the pile.

Help me write a cover letter

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