THE Prepping thread - a new beginning :)

fuddle · 13 July 2017 at 8:02AM

I believe Mar is touching upon a mother's instinct and nurturing side along with our essential and basic human psychological and survivalist needs.

I believe she was responding to me and 'we' because we're mothers with a similar outlook on life.

I don't know money? Why did you bother? Could it be that life would be better or easier for you in the long run? It takes a special kind of person to do something without getting something back in return... even as a volunteer I wasn't just doing it to give, I was doing it to get something out of it for myself too. Essentially we do what we do for the good of ourselves, our progression, our fulfilment or our happiness. It's the way our species is, I believe, along with psychologists the world over.

[Deleted User] · 13 July 2017 at 8:21AM

We do our own thing because we want to and because we can, we also help out in the village whoever, wherever and whenever we can IF we can because we live here too and it's to not just our advantage but everyone in the communities advantage to make this place as good as it can be for all of us. I don't think we've EVER expected praise and recognition for being part of the community and doing what we see as our duty in being a member of the society who reside here, it's part of belonging in a place surely?

moneyistooshorttomention · 13 July 2017 at 8:46AM

There will be a variety of reasons why people bother to do anything for anyone else/Society at large. Some will be personal (way of meeting friends,etc). When it comes to other things (eg trying to improve Society at large - as opposed to more "traditional" volunteering) then it can be as basic and non-personal as trying to make sure there is still a planet worth living on/a country that has at least some of the "freedom" we're told we have. Two somewhat different scenarios.

The second one of which has personal costs - as I know myself - as I've been on the receiving end of being "punished" (not getting jobs I otherwise would have/chucked out of a job I already had for non-work reasons/etc) and it has cost me a lot of money over the years:(.

We don't all do what we do for our own personal sakes. Certainly I've watched many people doing the second category of stuff (the trying to improve Society one) paying one heck of a personal price too. Certainly marriages/partnerships had a pretty high attrition rate - as they didnt survive it. Others also had personal problems they personally werent due for (denied jobs/kicked out of jobs/a home searched).

So - there's benefits. But some people pay a high price personally instead or as well as getting personal benefits.

[Deleted User] · 13 July 2017 at 9:07AM

And some people just get to live in a nicer place because they've done what they could in situations where they could actually make a difference, no reward expected or required, just the satisfaction of a job done as well as was possible.

fuddle · 13 July 2017 at 10:18AM

But don't you see money if there's a passion or 'a calling' or even a supposed selflessness there are still personal rewards for acting that way because of the sense of must do. 'I need to do this for the greater good' essentially leads to sense of fulfilment for achieving or working towards a goal. Whether we're talking about me volunteering for a charity or The International Director for Greenpeace (who is salaried) the personal motivation for doing the roles are about giving and doing but essentially, because we're human, we wouldn't do those roles if we didn't receive a jot of something in return. The scenarios might be worlds apart but because we're people we make the choices to do it with the expectation of getting something back for ourselves.

With respect, I agree that we do have choices and I also agree with you money that we also have some really rotten stuff happen to us that is out of our control. But I disagree with your idea that in being selfless (which I believe no one really is because there's always a sense of fulfilment for doing something that it important to us) means that there's a price to pay in other areas. It's then a not a choice because no one would choose to have pain/worry/upset in their lives. I feel it then becomes a choice as to what fulfils a person more and therefore the decisions made favour the thing in their life that gives them greater reward. There's consequences for every action we take for ourselves. Sometime we get it right and sometimes we don't but no I don't agree that the two are mutually exclusive or that to do one we have to pay a price for another. I think we have to work at every little thing in life and learn to adapt to what comes our way... if we want to feel secure, happiness, fulfilment etc.

monnagran · 13 July 2017 at 10:35AM

'Tis true. We can't solve the problems of the world on our own. All we can do is to try our best to to make our little patch of it a better place. To look after our own environment and the people who are entrusted to our care. It's difficult to know where family begins and ends.

The reasons why people work for their community and altruisticly (if there is such a word) do good where they can are myriad.
That last sentence reminds me of the "woman who went about doing good for others. You could tell who the others were by their hunted expressions."
I digress.

True altruism is extremely rare. The example that springs to mind is that of the homeless man who was telling me that someone had stolen his sleeping bag. Before I could draw breath to answer him, the man in the queue for tea behind him said, "Tell you what Jim. I've got one bag inside another., you can have one of mine."

I learned more from those destitute people than I learned from all the philosophy and religious books I have ever read.
The most important thing was this....."I give. Not because I have much, but because I know what it is like to have nothing."

True compassion is a rare and wonderful thing.

How did we get here, and what am I talking about? I dunno.

I feel that a cup of industrial strength coffee may be beneficial.

fuddle · 13 July 2017 at 11:07AM

Ah you've caused a dint in my thinking monna. Where I once believed that people always do something to get some sort of personal reward I now understand that compassion, and the knowing what it feels like, can be the catalyst. I've been pondering foundations that are set up in memory of loved ones who have passed away and couldn't 'box it' for want of a better phrase. The motivation can't possibly be for a personal reward although having something to focus on during loss could be seen as personal needs being met from it. Heck I don't mean to sound crude with my blaze language. To know what it feels like is enough reason to help others who experience similar in a compassionate way.

Well, I've a lot thank the ladies who didn't like shopping in a store that shelves weren't fully faced up. Between wisdom, joining with like minded people and listening to those that don't share the same views as me I've developed a bit more of my understanding.

I'm about to join you in that coffee monna. Now, what's in a cup of coffee for me?!

Witless · 13 July 2017 at 11:36AM

fuddle wrote: »

Now, what's in a cup of coffee for me?!

If you've had a morning like me - pint mug, two heaped teaspoons of instant, boiling water topped with half an inch of cold.

I'm quite proud of the fact I resisted the temptation to add several sugars, even though I needed the 'hit'.

If the painter wasn't doing the doors & the skirting downstairs & I could use the kitchen, a bacon buttie or three would hit the spot.

(Yes, a first world problem, I know.)

moneyistooshorttomention · 13 July 2017 at 3:41PM

..and then again there's self-respect......and having one of your parents the type that would turn round sometimes and go "....and your motives for that are - what?" and could be very "quick off the mark" if they didnt think they were good enough.:rotfl:

I recall an incident from my father of someone carelessly damaging one of his possessions. His main concern was not to be given the appropriate compensation for it (though he made darn sure he was) - but he simply would not accept that compensation from anyone else. He kept at it until the culprit themselves paid the compensation due (clue it was a child growing-up and he has strong views about how one brings up children to be). He very much took the view that adults are supposed to bring children up to know what "the standards" are and, if no-one else teaches them those standards = every other adult nearby has the responsibility to be in loco parentis and do so instead of the parent.

Yep...he was a teacher latterly:rotfl:- and his pupils knew he was basically "on their side"....and I agreed with him.

I've been remembering since this mornings post that it was far from uncommon for people to put themselves at risk of personal injury or (unfair) jail sentence or fine. I have yet to think of any personal reason why someone would do that.:cool: I admit to never going that far that I was at any risk of any of that - as I was well aware that I didnt fancy ending up in hospital or jail and wasnt prepared to take that level of risk.

The level of risk involved in not getting a job/being chucked out of a job I had was as far as I personally was prepared to go - even before they materialised and I did find myself on the receiving end of "punishment" like that.:mad::mad::mad::mad:

EDIT; given me my giggle for the day - as I recall a policeman I fancied when younger and was hoping for a date. Now - I didnt know this guy - and was astonished to find he (thought he) knew me and made a comment of "I can't go out with someone like you". Errrm....that would be the person that is very honest and never committed any criminal acts would it? Hmmm.....I'd forgotten that little episode of "the price paid"....

[Deleted User] · 13 July 2017 at 4:27PM

It's a choice thing to 'do or not' within your home community, we have a beach clean up once a month where volunteers go and literally clear any rubbish that has been either left by people or washed up by the tides in a work party. We do the same if the local park and riverside grassed area get litter dropped, particularly as dog walkers I usually have a carrier bag in a pocket and pick up where I walk because I live here too and I like the place to look nice. I know many people, cyclists, walkers, fishermen who do the same every time they go out. Now I would rather that people were more conscientious and diligent in not dropping rubbish in the first place but I don't intend walking past and leaving it or I would be as bad as they are. I know one lady who takes it on herself to keep the grass verge by the Co-Op clean and takes her bag every time she passes it and clears any litter into the bin. None of the people involved in this expect thanks or reward for doing it, reward is a clean, tidy village that visitors and locals appreciate, how can this not be a good thing? or are we all talking at cross purposes about different interpretations of community involvement?

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THE Prepping thread - a new beginning :)

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