Awkward RSVP: Advice please!

BugglyB · 17 January 2012 at 10:26AM

emz118 wrote: »

The thing is, I can't say who can and can't come to the church, as weddings are public services. However I can say no to the reception, that's a private party, and if she comes back and says that she thought she was coming to all of it I will say that she's welcome, but Man from Over the Road is NOT!!!

This forum is great for getting some perspective on things!!!

If you can, I would leave all talk the 'situation' out of it and concentrate on the fact that many other peoples OHs have not been invited. 'Sad to hear that <husband> is not well enough. I'm sorry, but we've had to cut out a lot of peoples partners, so we can't accomodate <bit on the side> as he's not a friend or family member of ours, in fact we barely know him. There will be <people she knows> at the reception, so we'd like it if you could come on your own.' That way she cant feel like shes being unfairly judged.

White_Sapphire · 17 January 2012 at 10:40AM

floss2 wrote: »

Was the invite for her only, or her & husband?

If it was her only, then when she responds to your email, ring & say "OK, thanks for the clarification, did you realise that the invitation is for you only?"

If it was for both, then I'm afraid you may have to shut up & put up with her friend....at least she told you in advance and didn't just turn up with him.

With all respect I am going to disagree with this; from what I can gather the invite was addressed to her and her husband, therefore if her husband can't be there then she can't just replace him with someone else. If it were to her and a +1, then it would be a different matter, as you can't dictate who the +1 can be.

Hope it gets sorted soon OP; this woman's rudeness is frankly breathtaking!

74jax · 17 January 2012 at 10:49AM

floss2 wrote: »

If it was for both, then I'm afraid you may have to shut up & put up with her friend....at least she told you in advance and didn't just turn up with him.

i don't understand this? If the invitation was for Mr and Mrs Smith and Mr Smith can't come, I don't thing they have the right to 'pass' the invitation on?

If the invitation was to Mrs Smith plus guest, then obviously the 'guest' could be anyone. But from what I gather it was written to Mr & Mrs Smith.

I'm having a small wedding and I'm sorry but I won't be having any guest bring someone to the wedding who I don't know well enough to invite in the first place. That space could go to someone who I do actually know.

Robinred · 17 January 2012 at 12:39PM

White_Sapphire wrote: »

With all respect I am going to disagree with this; from what I can gather the invite was addressed to her and her husband, therefore if her husband can't be there then she can't just replace him with someone else. If it were to her and a +1, then it would be a different matter, as you can't dictate who the +1 can be.

Hope it gets sorted soon OP; this woman's rudeness is frankly breathtaking!

Totally, the OP said they hadn't invited plus ones only named guests. Such invites are non-transferrable.

Just wanted to add, I don't think you should get too stressed about not being rude to her, as she sounds like a nincompoop and neither of you are that close to her except by relation.

Having said that, I agree with the advice above to concentrate on the "not inviting any plus ones, only close friends and family" line, simply because I always get a bit stressed and angry if I am rude to someone, even when they deserve it, and you are the BRIDE for heaven's sake you need to be having a good time!

Awkward RSVP: Advice please!

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