NRP and a CSA Assessment Problem

Buster1874

I am a non-resident parent (the father). My net pay at the end of the month is about £3,100, a mixture of salary and occupational pension. I had been paying my ex-wife £600 a month, for my three daughters who are 13 15 and 19. As well as that I was paying pocket money and mobile phone bills for my youngest two, and keeping my eldest daughter’s car on the road for her (after having spent a fair bit on purchase and repairs), which costs me £100 a month purely in insurance costs. In a typical month I would be paying out between £800 and £850 a month on my children. The eldest started at university last year, so I split the £600 giving £400 to the ex and £200 to my eldest. We have both moved on since splitting up and we are both married again. Plus, she now works full-time in a relatively well paid job, earning far more than she ever did when we were together. I am married again, but I’m now paying a mortgage of about £1200 on the house we bought together. The ex was always wanting more money. I told her I could not afford more and to go to the CSA if she was unhappy. So she did. In their typically fantastic way of doing blanket calculations without any due regard to the situation, I’ve been told to pay the equivalent of £630 a month just for my two daughters. If I keep up the other payments then I’m going to struggle giving my eldest daughter anything (although she is working during Uni holidays). Although I do want to help her she is my daughter. This has culminated in a serious of threatening phone calls from my ex’s husband demanding that I still pay for my eldest. I’ve told him its no business of his but he seems to think I should still be handing over yet more money. Plus, it’s obvious from conversations with, and emails from my daughters, they have been poisoned against me and being made to think I’m not paying my dues and have “threatened” to cut my eldest daughter off. Not bad considering what I have done for her. Plus paying any more money leaves me in a situation because of my outgoings where I’ve more going out than coming in. I may have a decent income but I am far from profligate with my money and can not afford any of the luxuries of life. Now shoot me down in flames if I am wrong but I would have thought that £200 per child was more than adequate to feed and clothe them even nowadays and is probably a lot more than families on benefits receive. And considering that the ex and husband must have a joint income of about £60k which even without my contribution is a fair sum. The situation to be honest is making me ill. I even get late night answerphone messages asking me to “f**king pay up what the CSA say or else”. Anybody had a similar problem and can advise? Thanks

Lady_S

We are always pushed on what we can afford, and what my husbands ex thinks we should be paying. We budget to afford what the CSA say ( two children under the age of 18), but she is expecting more and more extra's as time goes on.

If she has gone to the CSA then you need to pay what they are saying. But, I would be inclined to drop the extra's such as the mobile phones for the younger ones which are covered by the CSA agreement.

However, they are your children and obviously this might risk your relationship with them if they don't understand why you are doing this.

Buster1874

You hit the nail on the head about risking the relationship. How do I find out exactly what should be covered by a CSA agreement?

Loopy_Girl

Good lord - what a horrible situation to be in start keeping a note of any more threats in case you need to report this further.

Personally I think (and I am a PWC) that £50.00 per week per child is ample however the CSA calculations are correct (20% of take home pay). If they are saying that is what you need to pay then I'm afraid that is what you will need to pay or you are going to end up in arrears.

Basically your committment covers everything. The fact that you pay phone bills, pocket money and keeping your daughter's car on the road is extras that you have decided to do and should be commened for - however I can see how are you are going to struggle. Bluntly, you could pay your £630.00 and that would be your part done as far as the CSA are concerned.

Your children aren't tiny tots and, whilst I can appreciate that you don't want to damage a relationship, could you not talk to them as adults (especially the eldest 2) and explain the situation and see if you could come to a compromise? For example you could stop the £200.00 to eldest but agree to keep her car on the road? Agree to still pay pocket money to other 2 but say that as Mum is getting more maintenance then the phone money will have to come out of that?

It's a tricky situation and I sympathise. Yet another bitter PWC twisting the knife for no other reason that because they can. Believe me Buster, there are many PWC on here (myself included) who would love the NRP to take an interest and pay as you are.

Good luck x

Buster1874

What would happen if I didn't pay the full amount as assessed by the CSA so that I can continue to give my daughter at Uni money?

Loopy_Girl

Your account would go into arrears and action would be taken to collect the arrears. Could be anything from a Deduction of Earnings order to legal enforcement.

Buster1874

Observing the incomptency of the CSA how long would that take to happen?

Donedoingdebt

Buster1874 wrote: »

What would happen if I didn't pay the full amount as assessed by the CSA so that I can continue to give my daughter at Uni money?

Don't even think about it! You'll end up in a heap of sh#t with the CSA & they'll hound you all ways until they receive your assessed payments.
Eventually, they can & will take 40% of your net pay to cover the arrears by DEO if they have to.

Your ex's Husband should be reported NOW for making those threats. Whatever private arrangements you've made with your eldest are absolutely nothing to do with him or your ex as being 19, she's now out of the CSA payment age.

Regarding the CSA blanket assessment, you're right. They do not take account of any personal circumstances the way the old court system used to. Unfortunately, if their assessment is correct for the 2 children that you're paying for, then you're stuck with it, however much extra you may pay them privately.

Buster1874

I had a thought...treat my daughter at Uni as if she was 17...and then make it 25% of my takehome, but split 2/3 to the ex and 1/3 to my daughter at uni...

BARGAINHUNTER!

If I were you I would explain to your two youngest children that you used to give their mum £400 a month for them and pay some of their other bills on top. Now you are paying their mum more each month, so the bills you were paying need to come out of the money you give their mum. Also send letter to mum explaining why you stopping contributing to mobile phones etc (increase in CSA payment to Mum to cover this - rather than just giving mum £400 and paying other bills yourself, the payment to mum includes all these bills)

Not sure about what you do with daughter at uni though. Does mum also give her some money? You need to be careful about setting a precident though - you have three kids, and are the other two expecting similar treatment when they reach that age? If so when does it stop? Tricky one! I think you need to gradually wean your eldest off of the amount of money that you give her each month, or else she is going to find it really hard to be able to manage her own money in the future if she is getting hand outs all the time.

Please make sure that your kids just don't see you as a cash dispenser!!

Donedoingdebt

Buster1874 wrote: »

I had a thought...treat my daughter at Uni as if she was 17...and then make it 25% of my takehome, but split 2/3 to the ex and 1/3 to my daughter at uni...

But the CSA will still take 20% of your take home pay for your younger 2.