I'm on the verge of just giving up

ahrimaniac

I am literally at the end of my tether here, and I’m hoping someone can give some good advice! I just feel like giving up on my working life, jacking it all in and sitting on the dole, claiming as much as I can. I know that’s a terrible life, but it seems preferable to my current situation!

I’m a 23 year old male living with his gay partner in private accommodation, I have five (count them!) A-Levels and I’m currently temping in a job which only pays about £13,000 – despite me trying to get decent work elsewhere, it’s just not happening – I turn up smart for interviews, I’ve got a good working history, I’ve got experience and I’m good at interviewing. I don’t speak to my parents because I’m estranged from them because of the whole gay thing, as is my partner. I had to move out at 17 and since then, I’ve never, ever been out of work – always working a full week (had about seven days sick in 6 years), always paying into the system, and never claimed a bloody thing in return.

Before I met my partner, I moved into private accom with a friend of mine, who, after a year, !!!!!!ed off – leaving me to sort out all her debt. Her parents paid her phone bill and store cards and whatnot, but they wouldn’t pay her side of the council tax. As it was a joint tenancy, I was told that if she didn’t pay her half, I’d be jointly responsible – so, to stop myself getting bad credit, I paid it, and I’ve been suffering since.

My partner, when I met him, had £3000 debt, and we’ve been working to pay it off – and I’ve got about £2,000 – it’s easy to accumulate when you have no support from parents and have to pay every single bill, transport cost and food shop on a low, unreliable pay. I know it’s silly, and we’re constantly trying to hammer it down – I do the 0% interest thing (thankfully, got good credit because I’ve always paid on time) and we literally don’t do ‘anything’ unless it’s free or I have a voucher from this great site! But recently, it seems to be so much worse.

I made one mistake: I forgot about council tax. They’re now demanding I pay £1745 by July 3 (!) or I’ll go to court. I have written to them explaining my budget is pretty much: £900 a month - £600 rent, £100 transport (and that’s just public transport, the only way I can get to my current job), £70 food, £150 debt. My partners wage is £800 a month – of which we pay the electricity bill (which seems to be skyrocketing, despite us being as green as possible, so about £70 a month), his debt of £260 a month (he doesn’t have good credit, thus, high APR), his transport of £90 a month, water bills of £30 a month, TV licence at 10 and BT phone line (which is light user) at £10 a month. This normally leaves about £250 a month surplus, which has to be used for things like birthdays, or unexpected bills – anything left we chuck at the debt.

I showed proof of earnings and outgoings but they say it still needs to be paid – what the hell am I supposed to do?

What annoys me is the sheer lack of help from them, and indeed, the Government – I could have gone down a different route and decided not to work and to milk the system, then it would be no council tax (or reduced), much lower rent, subsidised travel, the works. I don’t qualify for any grants or benefits at the moment, I’ve checked.

I’m just tired – genuinely tired of working so hard and feeling like I’m drowning. I want to sort out everything by next year and that’s my target, but it just isn’t happening. With all bills increasing, things are only going to get worse.

ahrimaniac

Blimey, when you start writing, out it pours...

Lucy1982_2

Hi Sweet.

Firstly I am sorry that your parents aren't much help.

Secondly, they cannot take what you don't have. Now I am not sure and others will be along, but I imagine the courts will look through what you can afford and even if it is just £1 a month that is all you will be made to pay.

I believe that there is set amount for budgetting purposes that is used to 'officially' set out living costs, so try not to worry.

Have a huge hug and you will get through this. As for feeling like everything is on top of you, please try to calm down, becoming ill over this is not worth it and if you are really struggling pop and see your Dr and have a chat.

take care love x

redrabbit29

Hey,

I know how you feel in regards to having to pay EVERYTHING yourself. I too moved out of home when I was 17. I didn't really like living at home, and after moving out I still spoke to my Mum & step-dad but not that often, and didn't ask for a penny from them. Extremely hard.

You seem to be paying a hell of a lot of rent, are you living in London or something?

All I would say is, yes you could go on the dole but I would rather personally scrimp and save than go down that route. I can look at myself in the mirror and know that I pay my way, and I work hard too. I would get seriously bored sitting at home all day.

You need to draw a line under what's happened (posting here is a great start), and mentally telling yourself "what's done is done, and things will improve".

I don't know much about debts but can gurantee that guys on here can advise you on things, especially if you have a debt that you can't pay - i.e. there is literally no money to go towards it.

Good luck & don't give up.

ahrimaniac

Ah you guys/gals are fantastic - that's within 5 minutes of posting -

You're absolutely right though - I don't really want to go onto the dole because I like paying my way - but it just vexes me a little that it seems like everyone else gets the benefit. Of course, in the long run, I'll be better off for staying in work.

The rent thing is a nightmare itself - I chose the first place I could get because of the situation I found myself in, and it was £600. It's a lovely flat, in Newcastle on the Quayside, but I didn't pick it to be gratutious. Thing is, we want to move into a smaller, cheaper place but it's a catch 22 - we need the deposit and fees in order to switch properties and we just don't have that at the moment, so it's cheaper (at the moment) to stay where we are!

Nightmare!

doodledo_2

Hi and welcome to the forum you are definately in the right place.

I know every council is different but when I was in arrears with my council tax I rang them up and they did eventually agree that I could pay the arrears over the rest of the year.

I know you have rung up once before but it may be worth trying again especially if you can pay them £x there and then.

Like someone else has said they can't take what you don't have and if they took you through the court system they would no doubt make you pay £x a month so seems silly if they don't take your offer.

redrabbit29

In regards to the council tax, I would send a letter. It's far better than phoning as you'll get through to some call-taker who will simply say "you need to pay now", and will not take in anything you say. If you send a letter they are forced to read it, ask their manager/whatever and respond. It will also make you appear a bit more genuine as you've sent a letter rather than just making a quick call.

ahrimaniac

Thanks doodledo - more great advice - I'm going to call them at lunch again and just try and get them to accept small payments.

Oh, and to compound the troubles - since I joined my agency, the old agency are yet to send out my P45, meaning I've been on basic rate for two months - and worse, my partner is exactly the same - and he's been waiting 6 months and they still keep saying 'we'll send it' - the good thing is, it'll be a decent rebate when we get it from the Inland Revenue, but being on emergency tax is not helping!

louietudor

it cant already have gone to court otherwise the bailiff would be round or they would attach your earnings - i suspect they want to obtain a liabilty order so if you dont keep up with the amount the court says you must pay they can then uses bailiffs or attach the debt to your earnings

as someone has said talk to the council again and if your get someone who is unsympathetic hang up and try again - tell them that dispite their insistance you pay you cannot - ask them for the consequences of going to court and i thnk they will tell you as above

louietudor

above all dont let it stress you out or make you ill - you will end up fighting with your partner and im sure that will make even more unhappy

and old partner of mine always used to say ' for every problem no matter how big theres a solution' - good advise for any one with debt problems methinks

let us know how you get on

redrabbit29

louietudor wrote: »

it cant already have gone to court otherwise the bailiff would be round or they would attach your earnings - i suspect they want to obtain a liabilty order so if you dont keep up with the amount the court says you must pay they can then uses bailiffs or attach the debt to your earnings

as someone has said talk to the council again and if your get someone who is unsympathetic hang up and try again - tell them that dispite their insistance you pay you cannot - ask them for the consequences of going to court and i thnk they will tell you as above

Good advice. Chill out and relax. It's as simple as this - if you can't pay... you can't pay.

When you phone up tell them that and explain your situation. Tell them that you want to pay but simply can not. You are willing to discuss payment options with them to try to get the situation resolved.