Groceries - and adult children's contribution

gilligansyle

Hi,

I posted on here a while back and thanks to the advice I received am making inroads into my debt and getting my life sorted out.

My son of 21 is now working again and we have had the usual debate about how much he should contribute. He thinks that because he contributes, I should buy the stuff he wants, not the stuff my budget allows.

So, today, to prove a point, he came shopping with me, and I think I won. He kept putting things in the trolley so when we got to the checkout I separated out all the things he had put in and paid for the normal shopping. His stuff cost nearly the same as all the rest and consisted of junk. He went a bit white and then got his debit card out to pay for it!

I think that was a result, but wondered how others deal with this.

jenevieve

I think you handled it brilliantly. It is completely right that he contributes to the grocery budget but has to understand that if you are the one doing the actual buying then you will buy for the household. It sounded like a good lesson learned when he realised how much his stuff actually cost in comparison to what you buy.

Nicely done!:D

beanielou

Yes, impressed with that.
Will bear that in mind for when the time comes.
Why dont you say to him that his contribution covers X,Y & Z and if he wants extra he has to fund it himself~much as he did today.

gilligansyle

As most of his friends do not pay 'keep' he feels hard done by. I think it came as a shock to him. I don't mind what he pays but I object to buying things like Cola and crisps that I don't eat, and this was the only way I could think of to get the message home to him.

Gemmzie

I contribute to the food costs as my food is incredibly expensive (no wheat, no dairy, very restricted at the moment too), it's only fair.

Also, we all (two adults, two adult kids) contribute the difference for anything "extra", such as non-value or special deodorants (eg my brother likes lynx) etc

bringmeshoes

i used to pay for my own food from the age of 15 as i turned vegetarian so used to buy certain things that i liked, any junk like crisps/fizzy drinks i bought i used to keep in my room to stop brother & sister pinching it!

space_rider

My friends son only wanted to pay a small amount for board so she took him shopping to spend the amount he thought he ate in a week. It didn`t go very far and it was an eye opener for him. He is now happier contributing.

I went on holiday last summer and left my 18 year old at home. I didn`t buy her any food though there were few bits in the freezer. She had to buy her own food for the three weeks and lived on rice and pasta. She has a weekend job and I told her she should ask for more hours whilst I was away so she could afford to live!

gilligansyle

Some of you are really tough!

But I think its important that he gets a dose of reality, I can vividly remember living on pasta when I was nursing as I totally misjudged the costs of all the other stuff like gas, electricity and what was then called rates.