struggling but will get there

trevindra

Hi, I am new to the site, but have found it so helpful this week that I thought I would join as it so supportive. Here's our sorry tale. My OH and I both work, I particularly am in a well paid job, and we both have had our head well and truly stuck in the sand for a long time. When we have hit financial difficulties in the past my OH always went to the bank, and of course we have been dealt with by a "bright young thing" who has sold us another loan, we are sorted for a while and then hit a mess again. Our " mess" is credit cards and loans, too embarrassed to tell you all just how much we are owing. This time I have put my foot down and told OH we had to contact the CCCS. They have been brilliant and we have made those first painful steps, we have an appt with them on the 30th June, we are in the process of opening another bank account, and I have written to all our creditors making a token payment, (in fact after posting this I am off to the bank to complete the account application and post off the letters). It has been a scary week, emotions up then down, but I am soooo relieved that we are doing something. We shopped at Tesco last night with calculator in hand, used our money off vouchers and still had change, this from a couple who shopped previously with not a care, it all went on the credit card!
I will never ever touch another credit card, if I cant have something it's too bad. Pity it has taken me to reach the age of 50 to realise this.
OH has done the SOA for the CCCS appt, this was scary and he has found it difficult to tell me just how bad things are, but we have the house on the market and really hope that if we get a sale that will really help. Incidentally has anyone sold their property to National Homebuyers? we heard from them but they want the valuation fee upfront and we just havent got that money to pay them. sorry this is a rambling post but I wanted to say thanks for all the great advice, I am determined we will become debt free and know there are some scary times ahead, but all I can say is to anyone in the same mess as us, get your head out of the sand, you will feel better!:o

fletch3163

Good Morning Trevindra

Please don't feel embarrassed. Everyone on here has stuff. Nobody judges.

I've watched seemingly helpless cases be stripped bare and built back up on this forum. It forever amazes me how a free site can offer such compassion, such support. You really will benefit from it. Trust it.

You're doing absolutely the right thing now. You've faced it up and that, for most, is the hardest part. Please post your Statement of Affairs and I'm absolutely sure you'll get more help than you ever imagined.

Well done so far though.

Numpty_Monkey

:hello: Hi trevindra

nothing to be ashamed of here, we are all in the same boat
I've just signed up with CCCS, :A
and signed up for a new A&L bank account, I went through Quidco and will get £50 doing it that way:j

If you post your SOA, the great and wonderfull people will give you help and advise on where and how to make savings

Never be ashamed join the nerds be proud you are dealing with your debts:T


keep posting hun:A

trevindra

Thanks for that, I find it difficult to deal with emotionally, felt really upbeat and positive this morning, went to get the postal orders with my last £10, to find they add a charge!, then get home to sort to find Tesco Personal finance on the phone, so now on a downer, I get paid next week but this week will be a real struggle, just about to raid the piggy bank and take the loose change to the machine in Sainsbury's so I can buy stamps to post the blessed letters off! keep supporting me please!!!

Keeping_Positive

Welcome Trevindra

You have found a great site and CCCS have been a great help to alot on here. Keep plugging away and you will see results. Cant promise it will get rid of the lows but we are here to support you through them and celebrate the highs.

Tonylpool

Hi Trevindra

Your story echo's mine so much and together we can all help each other through these times! Please dont feel embarrassed about how much you owe, mine (inc parents is £25k) and I dont even know where it has gone. I am also a Credit Manager which I was embarrassed to say but alot of other people on here work in financial services and are in the same position. The messages of support have moved me to tears. I dealt with National Homebuyers at my last company, I will make some phone calls and let you know about them!!! I am struggling in my final week of the month. One little tip I do is to put my £2 coins and anything less than 50p in my piggy bank during the month and empty it in the last week. Usually have about £40 in their which shows that the pennies do add up. Please dont let it spoil your weekend!!!!

Keep in touch

Tony

jenevieve

Hi trevinda,
Welcome to one of the best places ever! Please don't be so hard on yourself; we are all here to help, support and hug when needed. Judging and criticising is not something that I have come across here; everyone helps each other and you can be completely open and honest.
Please post a SOA; there are bound to be some experts along who can help you tweak things.
Well done for getting the ball rolling; stick with us cos we all stick together

Donedoingdebt

trevindra wrote: »

Our " mess" is credit cards and loans, too embarrassed to tell you all just how much we are owing.

We've all been there.

Take a look at my sig, now that was EMBARRASSING!!

However, barring disaster, all the bad debt (DMP) will be paid off in December 2008 - 6 months to go.

So, there is light at the end of the tunnel, however bleak things may seem now.

Just don't let any creditor bully you into paying more than you can afford & forward all correspondence from them straight to CCCS who do a fine job for many on this forum.

trevindra

Hi and thanks so much. Have just posted off the letters and postal orders so hopefully that will give us a slight breather until I get paid on friday. I cant post our SOA yet as teenage daughter hovering around and she has no idea of the predicament yet. I have told our son who is older and he was great, we have tried to hide what's going on from them but it is hard particularly when he picks the phone up, so thought it best to tell him. Obviously he doesnt know how deep we are in debt, I just cant discuss that far. It is good to know there are others in the same situation, how have we got ourselves in so deep you cant see a way out? I desperately want to blame the bank, but in reality it is mine and OH for being ostriches. Cannot wait for 30th to speak to the CCCS, and thanks Tonylpool for the help with National Homebuyers, if we can sell up that will go a long long way to sorting this mess out. When does the emotional rollercoaster stop? well at least we have got a bottle of wine to drown the sorrows tonight. Oh by the way where do I find the SOA so I can eventually post it when prying eyes arent about?

Tonylpool

Your welcome,I will let you know asap

Donedoingdebt

trevindra wrote: »

When does the emotional rollercoaster stop?quote]

A few months down the line when the DMP has been running for a few months & the creditors have finally accepted that they will not be able to squeeze any more money out of you & start leaving you alone.

Then you start to feel you're regaining control of your finances & you're on the path to a debt free date.