Update

FAITH_3

Just thorght id let you know how the new job and things are going.
New job is great, great bunch of people, very hard on the brain, but good to get brain going again :rotfl:

Me and my partner, well.... he has still got his head in the sand, all our depts are separate, so CCCS are dealing with it separate, but he is expecting me to open his letters, write letters for him, make payments ect, ive said I cant anymore, got more than enough on my plate, so he called me selfish, said he couldnt deal with it because hes training at work, needs 100% mind on job, not money, HELLO who has just got a new job, plus running around doing school run, housework, shopping, cooking!!!
Taking the !!!!!! or what!!!

Our relationship is at breaking point, I cant deal with him shoving it all on me, and not wanting to talk about it, if I try and talk, I just get.. stop trying to start a arguement, or im not doing the depressing bit today!!

Im trying to hang in there, BUT I must admit, I dont like him much anymore, hes put so much on me, I cant cope, dont think I can carry on with him, though that will add more, have to find somewhere for me and my daughter to live.

Hes got a HUGE pile of unopened letters, hasnt made any payments to anyone, ive tried expaling till CCCS have got everything in place he needs to make token payments, Ive only been giving £5 here, £5 there, what ever I can afford, I dont know!!!

What do you do eh!!!!

elona

He sounds like a spoiled and selfish child and please feel free to show him this.

You cannot get yourself out of a hole if one person is still digging a pit and will not do anything to help.

Feeling so alone and being the only person to behave like an adult cannot be doing your health any good.

Possibly he is just scared - he has not a clue what to do - but will not listen to you and then expects you to sort out his mess without making even a token effort!!!!:eek: I am really cross on your behalf.

I was about to ask if he cannot understand or just does not want to understand - but I do not want to upset you by saying what I think in too much detail.

Big Hug.

daveboy

Any adult who cannot take responsibility for their own actions is a Class A pillock who deserves to be out on their own.

Get out before you're in the same situation.

libra10

Can't offer any advice but wishing you the best for the future.

Good luck

sammyy

Most people on this site who has been/are in debt have admitted to sticking their head in the sand and then at some point have a bit of a light bulb moment.I know its not very helpful but people realise how deep they are in at different times.Remember, not too long ago you were both doing the ostrich thing.Just because you've had your light bulb moment doesn't mean that he's going to stop sticking his head in the sand however frustrating that is for you.What you do about it is up to you.Good luck x

Bennifred

I don't think it is so much about the "light bulb" moment in this case - it's more about the total selfishness displayed by Faith's partner. Actually partner is probably the wrong term - he' behaving like a spoilt child who expects someone else to clear up after him. Very unfair.


Glad the new job is going well - at least one part of your life is on track!

sammyy

Bennifred wrote:

I don't think it is so much about the "light bulb" moment in this case - it's more about the total selfishness displayed by Faith's partner. Actually partner is probably the wrong term - he' behaving like a spoilt child who expects someone else to clear up after him. Very unfair.

I do agree that FAITHS partner is acting like a spoilt child but it would seem that the op has herself been piling up the debts.Don't get me wrong,the fact that she is now turning that around is brilliant and to be admired but it doesn't follow that because she can now see a way out that her partner can too.People tend to do that in their own time,but as far as her having to deal with his debts,they are his problem.Maybe he doesn't know where to start,(I've been there :eek: )thats probably why he is so defensive when she tries to talk to him.

Bennifred

Hmmm - difficult, isn't it? How should Faith approach the problem then, if he won't even talk about it?

sammyy

To be honest,what can she do?Offer her support and maybe if he can see her making some headway with her problems,that will give him the push he needs to turn things around.

Bennifred

I guess that's true, though it sounds as though she's coming to the end of her tether with him. The trouble with not talking about any particular thing is that it has a knock on effect on the relationship as a whole - to it's detriment. It isn't easy to compartmentalise issues. I don't think the lack of communication is just to do with the debt - doesn't sound as though he's giving her much support in any other area, either (new job, running household, etc).

FAITH_3

Sorry didnt reply to the thread guys and gals, major internet probs, like none!!!
Well im still hanging in there, by my teeth, working six days a week now, it all helps.
OH got sacked!!!!
We wont even go there!!!
BUT he is looking, still got head in sand, still wants me to do his paperwork, even though im working 6 days aweek, im really tired, emotional and physical, dont know what id do without you guys, no one else to talk to!!
I DO love him soooo much, im trying to encorage him, BUT he keeps saying ill sort it tomorrow!!!
Am at a loss as you guys are, dont know how hes doing it, but hes still got money!!!
He opened 2 new accounts, not one basic one, both with overdrafts!!!
Just dont know!!!
Thanks for listening, think id better find myself a relationship board!!!!