Getting new LB moment through to OH

dottyanne

Ok yall, your going to have to wish me luck - after posting new SOA and working out total amt of debts, have faced up to new LB moment myself - got it all on paper/pc now but got to get this through to OH later on tonight.

Told him total extent of debt and how i intend to try to get rid of them one by one as posted.

Main thing i need to convey is my worry about making ends meet once tax credites etc get revised/go down.

If i get him on board now i have a better chance of getting things paid as i wont need to hide as much to 'protect' him - its his debt as much as mine and i want to tackle it together not on my own.

wish me luck!!

Dithering_Dad

Good luck with getting your OH to see the light (bulb). As you've said, it's a shared debt and so it's unfair for you person to have to shoulder all of the responsibility and stress of it on your own.

Besides, it's so much easier to clear your debts when everyone is working towards the same goal.

Let us know how you get on .

dottyanne

thanks dithering dar, i will do - in my diary which started eons ago - i was at a stage where i really didnt want to let him know how bad things had got and i was a bag of nevers making myself ill -i came clean and showed him how things were and he was great - thing is since then its been pretty much left to me again to get things sorted and i find myself hiding reminders etc as i dont want him to worry or question things? daft i know but thats something in me i have to try to eliminate. anyway i did a spreadsheet of our debts last nite and a statement of things we need to save for each month, also did martins budget so now its there i want to show him exactly where were up to - i hop he doesnt think im a failiure....again. :-(

poorandindenial

Hi dotty

Don't worry, just take a deep breath and do it, he might be disappointed at first that you hadn't told him earlier but you are in it together and it isn't fair on him to hide the situation from him as he can't play his part properly if he doesn't know about what is really there. My guess is that he will also be impressed when he sees that you have come up with a way out of it.

All the best for getting him to play his role in this. Make sure you are clear about what you want him to do. If you have always been left to run the finances it will be easier for him to fall back into that again so be clear about what you expect/need from him (and he may well have great ideas for getting this sorted out).

dottyanne

Thanks poorandindenial, i agree - its not like i never mention things to him cause i do - he trusts me totally and i guess when things get too tight i dont want to let him down (i know this is putting undue stress on myself) and i agree about keeping him in the picture. He does know the total amountof our debts and when i explained what was owed where he understood, and weve already agreed to concentrate on teh ones i mentioned first. Thing is i really need to work out how much we NEED as a minimum each month then find ways to ensure we get it!