new and need to vent and hopefully get some advice

lotteboom

Hi

I am 32 years old and a very foolish woman.

several years ago I met a man who has got me into a mountain of debt (yes as I said I am foolish).

a year after we met I had an ectopic pregnancy and had to have emergenc surgery in order to save my life. As you can imagine I was in a rather fragile state after that, and he was treating me like a piece of dirt. Now I know I could and should have left him then but I fooled myself into thinking I was in love.

here's what I have done to get myself in the position I am in today.

Firstly I took out finance in my name for a car loan from Welcome Finance 47%apr, and he was meant to be making the payments towards it.

He then traded the car in and went with blackhorse for car finance, but this time he got it in joint names.

after a while I realised that he had not paid welcome, and was also defaulting on blackhorse, and foolishly I buried my head in the sand. the worst of this is the cars were never even registrered in my name but in my ex partners name.

then I found out he got a loan and forged my signature - but he was smart about it and scanned my signature through the PC and then pasted it onto the loan application. I found this out as I sent them my signature and they have said its identical. (I know he's a smart guy)

He was an abusive and violent partner and I was scared to approach him about things so I left them to gradually get worse.

finally I got up the courage to end it and I left him about a year later. (6years together all in)

I have since met another guy who is the most wonderful person, we have been together for just over a year now and he wanted us to go buy a house together. I explained the situation I am in with debt - I have wage arrestments from BLACkhorse, and also from the council as the ex never paid the council tax etc either, and somehow I am the one being left to pay it all (council have told me they dont care a jot about my financial situation, they just want their money) understandably my new guy wants me to get it all sorted out so we can thnk of our future, and look towards getting a mortgage.

I just feel I am in a black hole, my credit file is ruined with 3 acccounts defaulted (welcome, blackhorse car finance and the loan he took out I never knew about). and obviously the council tax.

I feel that I should not be the one to be paying off all this debt as although it is in my name, it was never for me (yes violent relationships and major surgery to cut out my baby so I didnt die makes the brain go funny and do silly things).

I contacted my ex with copies of all the things on my credit file that he has now made default accounts. (everything that is current that is on my file like my bank account and mobile phone etc is all fine, its my previous accounts that are default). he emailed me in writing agreeing that he is partly responsible and I have it in writing to say he will pay half the debt payments I am paying out each month, so that I can eat and get to work and also pay bills like gas electric and phone.

He has defaulted on paying me for 2 months now and I am beginning to struggle.

where do I stand - can I sue him civilly for the money since I have it in writing stating he will pay half the debt?

any advice you can give would be appreciated. and I dont need I told you so's, I have been telling myself told you so for over a year now. I am NOT with him now but I am with a VERY understanding guy who wants everythign sorted, and doesnt want me lumbered with all the debts,as my new guy was in that situation with his ex and he ended up having to pay all his debts caused by his ex.

please be nice, im new and depressed enough as it is.

thanks

Lotteboom

poorandindenial

Hi Lotteboom

I just saw that your post has been here a while and not had any responses so I thought I would post, sometimes the board moves so quick you can blink and miss a post - if you fall off the bottom of the first page feel free to give yourself a shameless leg up by posting again in the same thread, this will bump it back tot the top.

Right, you won't get any 'told you so' or other negative comments on here, everyone here has problems with debt and we all got there by different means, but that doesn't matter, what matters is that we want to sort them out.

You are in quite a complicated situation and I would suggest that you get in touch with some experts (here is a link to a list of people who won't charge you for advice: click here)

Well done for posting here and well done for getting out of a violent and abusive relationship.

I wish you all the best for your future sorting out your debt and with your new man.

GeorgeUK

First we need to know what state your finances have been left in to see where we can take this. I suggest posting up a statement of affairs (SOA) so we can see what your income and expenditure are before we deal with the debts. After you post it on the board, please edit the post and identify which debts are joint. I'm not sure what can be done to get another half to pay for their share of the debts but i doubt he'll be concerning himself with it the way you are. We'll get around to looking into that - i promise.
http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

Numpty_Monkey

:hello: Hi lotteboom

We are not judgemental here , your sitiution sounds like a mix of mine

I think if you've got it writing about your ex agreeing to pay half and proof of the fraud signature, i would suggest a free legal advice centre or CAB

take care hun :A

rosemahairy

I would advise to go to citizens advise. You should not be accountable for loans you did not sign for. Citizens will help you get a grip of what you and help you make arrangements to pay them back. They are really friendly and helpful :-)

mumoftwins

Hi Lotte,

A friend of mine went through something very similar to you and she ended up getting the Fraud Squad involved as it is indeed fraud if he has forged your signature, so please consider this where it is applicable - my friend went through hell and back but her ex was found guilty and had to serve a prison sentence (and he wasn't a nice guy either!). Now she is left with the debts that she herself incurred whilst living with him and being very depressed, she is now on a DMP and is repaying what she actually owes herself. The debts he ran up have been waived as she was not responsible for taking them out in the first place.

Hope this helps and good luck.

Runnybabbit

Just about to write the same thing as mum of twins and that's contact Police and speak to Fraud Squad. Good luck huns and hope everything works out for you. x

standupguy

I am not sure if I am reading this correctly but am I right in thinking that the car that was on finance with Welcome Finance was part exchanged at a car dealer and then a new agreement taken out with Black Horse but the Welcome agreement not settled - so there is an outstanding balance with Welcome?

If that is the case then the Motor Dealer should have settled Welcome Finance as part of the new deal.

If this is the case then Welcome can get their money from the Dealer or Black Horse.

The dealer cannot sell that car without settling Welcome as he is now liable for the settlement.

Also, as the dealer was acting as an agent for Black Horse under the CCA rules Welcome have a claim against Black Horse to settle the agreement under section 56 of the Consumer Credit Act 1974.