new and need to vent and hopefully get some advice

lotteboom

Hi

I am 32 years old and a very foolish woman.

several years ago I met a man who has got me into a mountain of debt (yes as I said I am foolish).

a year after we met I had an ectopic pregnancy and had to have emergenc surgery in order to save my life. As you can imagine I was in a rather fragile state after that, and he was treating me like a piece of dirt. Now I know I could and should have left him then but I fooled myself into thinking I was in love.

here's what I have done to get myself in the position I am in today.

Firstly I took out finance in my name for a car loan from Welcome Finance 47%apr, and he was meant to be making the payments towards it.

He then traded the car in and went with blackhorse for car finance, but this time he got it in joint names.

after a while I realised that he had not paid welcome, and was also defaulting on blackhorse, and foolishly I buried my head in the sand. the worst of this is the cars were never even registrered in my name but in my ex partners name.

then I found out he got a loan and forged my signature - but he was smart about it and scanned my signature through the PC and then pasted it onto the loan application. I found this out as I sent them my signature and they have said its identical. (I know he's a smart guy)

He was an abusive and violent partner and I was scared to approach him about things so I left them to gradually get worse.

finally I got up the courage to end it and I left him about a year later. (6years together all in)

I have since met another guy who is the most wonderful person, we have been together for just over a year now and he wanted us to go buy a house together. I explained the situation I am in with debt - I have wage arrestments from BLACkhorse, and also from the council as the ex never paid the council tax etc either, and somehow I am the one being left to pay it all (council have told me they dont care a jot about my financial situation, they just want their money) understandably my new guy wants me to get it all sorted out so we can thnk of our future, and look towards getting a mortgage.

I just feel I am in a black hole, my credit file is ruined with 3 acccounts defaulted (welcome, blackhorse car finance and the loan he took out I never knew about). and obviously the council tax.

I feel that I should not be the one to be paying off all this debt as although it is in my name, it was never for me (yes violent relationships and major surgery to cut out my baby so I didnt die makes the brain go funny and do silly things).

I contacted my ex with copies of all the things on my credit file that he has now made default accounts. (everything that is current that is on my file like my bank account and mobile phone etc is all fine, its my previous accounts that are default). he emailed me in writing agreeing that he is partly responsible and I have it in writing to say he will pay half the debt payments I am paying out each month, so that I can eat and get to work and also pay bills like gas electric and phone.

He has defaulted on paying me for 2 months now and I am beginning to struggle.

where do I stand - can I sue him civilly for the money since I have it in writing stating he will pay half the debt?

any advice you can give would be appreciated. and I dont need I told you so's, I have been telling myself told you so for over a year now. I am NOT with him now but I am with a VERY understanding guy who wants everythign sorted, and doesnt want me lumbered with all the debts,as my new guy was in that situation with his ex and he ended up having to pay all his debts caused by his ex.

please be nice, im new and depressed enough as it is.

thanks

Lotteboom

LilacPixie

I think you need proper legal advice. Contact CAB or one of the debt charities. I don't think anyone here is qualified to really give you accurate advice.

katyw

I can't really help, but wanted to send you a (((HUG))) and say well done for kicking him out. It was very brave but the right thing to do. I agree with Lilacpixie that you need legal advice. Someone on here may know, but until they come along we can all offer you emotional support. You're not alone xx

Jacks_xxx

:wave: Hiya sweetie,

I just wanted to send you a big squidgy hon, and say thank goodness you are no longer with that [STRIKE] evil f*ckwit[/STRIKE]poor excuse for a fella! :mad:

Ring one of the debt charities honey.

I like to recommends CCCS as they're the only one I have any personal experience with

They really know their stuff.

Or email if that's easier. It's no harder than telling us all about it is it?

Maybe go and see someone in legal at the CAB as well because what that man did was fraud.

And have another big squidgy hug from me for getting out!

Love Jacks xxx

jak

I think I know him...sounds like my ex! Get legal advice via cab!
Good luck you poor thing. Ectopics are awful and I can empathise.
HUGS
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