another newbie admitting they need help

gotnomoney1

Hi everyone.....how scary is this:eek:

I have been reading this forum for months now as I knew I was in trouble but have never really put anything into action. I am using today's date the 06/06/08 as my LB moment as this morning I realised I didn't actually have any money left to buy the food shopping for the next few days!!

I am just lurching from one pay day to the next trying to meet all the bills & debts & hoping that the money stretches that far...mostly it doesn't.
I have got 2 credit cards, 3 loans, catalogue & an overdraft & I really do not know where to start. I am guessing that the actual amount is about £30,000 & that is so scary to admit.
I have a 16 yr old son at home & my partner is not fully aware of my situation although I have admitted I am trying to clear a credit card.

Any advice greatly received!!!

sunnyteacake

Hi there, at least you have admitted to yourself that you have a problem. That is a great start. You need to post your SOA so that people on here can see where you can save and cut down. The only advice i can give is to tell your partner. You will feel much better about things when you do and hopefully you will both be able to work this out together. Im sure that there are many people here who can help go through the nitty gritty but for the time being im sending you a hug. No matter how long the tunnel, there is always light at the end of it x

gotnomoney1

Thank you so much for the hug & support. I am sitting in work & you have brought tears to my eyes (good job it is quiet). Admitting the problem is actually the hardest thing & I will think seriosly about telling my partner! I feel better already posting on here. I will work on my SOA over the weekend.

poorandindenial

Hi gotnomoney

The first thing you need to do is find out the actual extent of the problem. Get up to date details of all your debts (outstanding amount, monthly repayments, interest rates). This will be painful but is essential if you are going to get this sorted out.

Then you need to find out what you can do about it. You need to do a SOA (statement of affairs or income and expenditure), this will help you to find out what your options are, post the SOA on here and you will get lots of help and advice about how to save money that you spend at the moment. (there is a SOA calculator at http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html)

Then go to the snowball calculator and put in the details of your debts and the amount you can repay each month to see how long it could take you to be debt free, you can vary the amount so that you can see what changes to your budget would make (eg and extra £30 a month by ditching Sky TV (for example, obviously I have no idea of you have Sky) could shorten your overall period of being in debt by quite a bit)

If your SOA shows that you should have money left over and you don't then you need to keep a spending diary and be honest with yourself about where it is all going.

If your SOA shows you can't meet your monthly needs then you might want to talk to one of the debt counselling services (ones that don't charge, list to follow in a mo)

I hope this is useful - all the best in tackling this, carry on posting with anything that you need more info on, or just to be sociable and let us know how you get on. Well done for making the very dificult first post (I know it isn't easy) - this can be sorted out.

poppyg_2

Hi, well done for posting! I recommend that you work on your SOA and get that on here and then get some advice based on that before you tell your OH (if you do want to tell them of course), if you have a plan of action of how you're going to pay it all off you might feel more confident about telling them x x

poorandindenial

Click here for the list of free debt advice agencies (editing to say that CCCS has a tool called debtremedy online that will help you to see what options might be available to you)

Go to www.whatsthecost.com for the snowball calculator (I just realised I missed it from my original post)

gotnomoney1

Thanks everyone...you have no idea how much better I feel already with your support.
I am going to spend the weekend doing my paperwork & I know I will not feel better at the end of it!! But I have got to start somewhere.
A plan of action before I tell the OH seems like a good idea. At least I will be able to say I am doing something about the immense debt!

HHH_2

I didnt tell my OH until I had sorted out a way to pay my debts off and it was so much better for both of us as he accepted I had got in a mess but also accepted I was taking steps to sort it out and I havent looked back. If you find you dont end up with enough money to service your debts I can recommend CCCS. I say this as your debts are quite large ( not as large as mine tho!) they helped me, and still do, set up a DMP which leaves me enough money to live on each week but also is paying my debts and Im not paying interest. does trash your credit rating tho.whatever you do well done for your LBM and good luck.

poorandindenial

gotnomoney1 wrote: »

Thanks everyone...you have no idea how much better I feel already with your support.
I am going to spend the weekend doing my paperwork & I know I will not feel better at the end of it!! But I have got to start somewhere.
A plan of action before I tell the OH seems like a good idea. At least I will be able to say I am doing something about the immense debt!

i am glad you are feeling a bit better - any time you are feeling low just pop back on here, all of us have problems with debt there will always be someone who has been through somethign similar and is willing to share their experiences.

The facing up is the hard part, once you know what you are faced with and that you CAN sort this out you will be the one back in control, not the money and you will start to feel much better. Just try to remember that when it all seems terrible as you check each balance or APR, this is the first step towards being debt free.

Just a note about telling your OH, generally people do better sorting their debt out when they are able to tell their loved ones because it takes a lot of energy to conceal the stress you are going through, but you have to do this when you are ready to, don't worry if this isn't straight away. Just do it in your own good time.

All the best, poorandindenial

poorandindenial

Oops - your have got two threads - here is a link to the other, will post the same on there

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?p=11511603#post11511603