Introducing myself and looking forward to help/advice

missmonroe

hello, my name is Jodie and i am 20. Now the debt doesnt concern me but my long term partner of 6 years. We are expecting our first baby together on the 3rd August. My partner has got himself into a bit of a mess finantially, and doesnt seem to see a way out, it is getting in the way of our relationship and he seems very pessamistic about it all. Ive told him its now or never to get it sorted, as we have a baby to think about now, i am completly frustrated with the situation, and am faced with looking for a council flat to live in and living on benefits with our daughter, as his flat is inhabitable and has no money to put towards the upbringing of his child and my dad isnt prepared for me to live here.

I feel i have done all i can to help him, its very frustrating, because he is the only one who can physically take charge and make a plan to get out of the mess. He seems to think a plan of action isnt required, whereas i think a plan of action is very useful as you can chart your progress, see the end in sight (even if it is a few years off) and also learn some valuable lessons along the way.

He is 26 and has a Flat which he bought in 2003 for 43K. (the flat is tiny, mould on the walls, has never had any heating or hot water, due to lack of funds to be able to get gas reconneced or boiler fixed)

He then had to get a loan to pay for the lease on the flat which i think was about 20K

He had a 2 liter golf gti on HP worth 5 1/2 K (this got taken back)

He got double glazing put it and owes about £500 on that i think?

His mortgage payments are £389 a month, the loan that he had to get to pay the lease he says is effectively another mortgage and payments on this are £600 and something each month.

we dont have a car now, he doesnt eat at the flat, he doesnt have a bath at the flat, and the washing machine is broken so he doesnt wash his clothes at the flat. taking into account that he doesnt have to pay a gas bill either, he doesnt have the internet, and the electric is on a key meter.

He let slip the other day that he couldnt afford to pay the £600 loan payment last month and so didnt bother paying the mortgage either, as he seems to think that he... i quote 'will be getting the flat taken away from him anyway'

i told him this was a stupid idea, because if he at least has the flat to sell (even though its in a not too good state) its something, its an asset its property. id hate for him to have the flat taken away and then still have debt to pay.

He works everyday as a bricklayer. He has a citizens advice meeting on Thursday 12th June at 9.30am.

I suppose what im asking for is some advice and words for him, to make him realise this isnt the end of the world. He needs to realise that he cant sit back and allow this to happen to him. Could you please tell us what to expect at the CAB meeting, and how we can prepare for it so we get the most from it.

Im not angry hes in debt, alot of people are, im angry that hes not doing his best to get out of the situation he is in. it feels like he is sitting back and letting it happen to him.

RAS

Hi

We need to see what is under "home"

Eats, drinks and smokes needs cutting back drastically, what is covered by this?

Clothes is too high. he could cut that out totally.

I know that he is your child's father but you need to understand that you cannt fix him or his debts. Until he has what we call his Light bulb moment, he will not sort it and you cannot sort it for him.

There is quite alot he can do if he wants to, but you also need to have a plan in place for if he does not, given that you have a child arriving soon.

So, try to get him on here and get him to read how peole have turned things round.

For yourself, please go to www.entitledto.com and work out your financial situation now, when you go on mat leave and in the year immeidately after the birth.

For baby stuff check www.freecycle.org, rather than spending money you do not have. It is like e-bay but free of charge. Sign up for all the mothe rand baby offers on the freebies board here and learn how to up you income from surveys and pay for click sites.
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that way if you does not change, you and the little one will be able to manage better.

missmonroe

thank you for your reply, here is the budget breakdown.









He definatly hasnt has the 'lightbulb' moment yet, and were drastically running out of time. ive gotten used to the idea that i will be finantially supporting me and our baby on my own (unfortunatly)

Im currently living at my dads rent free, and getting £82 a week maternity pay up untill the 18th November, after which i intend to go onto income support and go to the council to see if i can get housed.I have an £80 loan which goes out once a month and will be finished in November 2009 (i got a £1700 loan to have my ears pinned back in november 2007) Unfortunatly i dont really have anyone i can rely on to look after baby so i can go back to work, although i am hoping to return to work in May 2009 even if for 8 hours a week. Another advice/preperation you can give us so we are ready for thursday will be greatly appreciated.

missmonroe

has anyone got any advice for the Citizens advice meeting on thursday?

~Beanie~

How come his mortgage/rent is listed at £1260 if his mortgage is £389 and the loan £600, total £989? What is the rest for? He also needs to stop eating out and buying coffee/snacks etc. Also if he only has himself to feed, £100 could be cut as well. I realise that if he hasn't had his lightbulb moment yet then getting hom to actually take any of the advice offered may be difficult

When he goes to the CAB he should be honest with them and take details of his loan / mortgage. Who they are with, amount borrowed, how much outstanding, interest rates etc.