Another Person In Need Of Help

kiwichick

StevenP wrote:

Oh

and cancel all purchase protection insurance if you have taken that out (in my opinion)

then go and tell your girlfriend about your debt

Hiya Southernscouser,

I know its probably hard to stomach but you really ought to try and take StevenP's advice on this one. When my hubby and I got engaged he finally worked up the courage to tell me he was over £12000 in debt on cc's. Sure
I was shocked but more gutted that he hadn't told me before this. I sat down with him and worked out a repayment plan, consolidated some of the debt, we even moved in with his folks in order to pay off more quicker as we were trying to save the deposit for a house. It was this that made him tell me in the first place. It took a while but we did it, with help from family for accomodation.

You could always try your local CAB? Do they do dome sort of budget advisory service? Maybe someone else has advice for that one

When all is said and done, family is family and as hard as it will be to tell them and your GF you may find them more supportive than you think they will be.

Good luck with it all mate,
Al.

southernscouser

ahmilligan wrote:

Hiya Southernscouser,

I know its probably hard to stomach but you really ought to try and take StevenP's advice on this one. When my hubby and I got engaged he finally worked up the courage to tell me he was over £12000 in debt on cc's. Sure
I was shocked but more gutted that he hadn't told me before this. I sat down with him and worked out a repayment plan, consolidated some of the debt, we even moved in with his folks in order to pay off more quicker as we were trying to save the deposit for a house. It was this that made him tell me in the first place. It took a while but we did it, with help from family for accomodation.

Al.

I know this sounds wrong and cowardly but my GF still has 2 and half years of being a student left and I'm sure she realises we can't, and won't be able to afford to get a place together for some time. Maybe 2007 is the early earliest! Therefore my plan is to pay off as much as I can before then and maybe when I do tell her things won't look as bad.

I don't feel I can tell her because she worries about money as it is. I've helped her in the past (even though I couldn't afford to) as I couldn't bear to see her crying about it everynight. (Just re-reading that, I don't mean to make it sound like some if this is her fault as it is entirely not).

kiwichick

Even if you dont tell her now you ARE doing the right thing facing up to it yourself, the longer you bury your head in sand the worse it will get.

I would try and get some advice for consolidation, at leadt htat wy it is only the one interest rate you will have to pay.

Good Luck,
Al

StevenP_2

southernscouser wrote:

I know this sounds wrong and cowardly but my GF still has 2 and half years of being a student left and I'm sure she realises we can't, and won't be able to afford to get a place together for some time. Maybe 2007 is the early earliest! Therefore my plan is to pay off as much as I can before then and maybe when I do tell her things won't look as bad.

I don't feel I can tell her because she worries about money as it is. I've helped her in the past (even though I couldn't afford to) as I couldn't bear to see her crying about it everynight. (Just re-reading that, I don't mean to make it sound like some if this is her fault as it is entirely not).

accidental thanks there mate , sorry


anyway , i had/have loads of debt and always worried how another person in my life might take it , i had to tell her and it made me ashamed , it shouldnt of because she had had loads as well but her mums house got sold when she dies and that cleared it , about 18k

weve since taken out a loan with barclays to cover her car loan and my debts 22k , but all my debts were in arrangments so shuffling etc was no good to me

point is mate , dont let yourself get deep in bother before you tell her

Steve

StevenP_2

ahmilligan wrote:

Even if you dont tell her now you ARE doing the right thing facing up to it yourself, the longer you bury your head in sand the worse it will get.

I would try and get some advice for consolidation, at leadt htat wy it is only the one interest rate you will have to pay.

Good Luck,
Al

Dont foget though that the consolidation would be for 30k around about , and what unsecured lender will do that ?

southernscouser

To be honest I don't think my credit record is good enough to consolidate that ammount. Tesco rejected me to consolidate about £19,000.

I've been looking at the CCCS website and am thinking of giving them a call just for some free advice. Can anyone recommend them or not recommend them?

The thing that worrys me is IF CCCS did come to arrangements with the lenders that they would put defaults on my file. Then I have absolutely zero chance of getting a mortgage for 6 years (would hope to have one way before then, or am I being unrealistic).

Someone mentioned on another thread that some compnaies just mark your file and remove it when paid up. This sounds good but is it guaranteed and does anyone know what lenders do and don't do this?

southernscouser

StevenP wrote:

accidental thanks there mate , sorry


Steve

Sorry StevenP, I'm lost on that bit!

southernscouser

OK, I've just transferred £2,650 from my Egg CC on to my Tesco CC for 7.9% for the life of the balance.

So remaining on my Egg card is £283.02 which I will be able to pay off at the beginning of the month with my work bonus.

I know it's not much but it feels well good to know one of my cards is going to be at zero!

My next question is, should I then go back to Egg and see what rate they can offer me? Or close the account? Or, perhaps reduce the credit limit on it, because I use the Egg money manager as it's quite useful for a snapshot of what I owe?

Willsnarf1983

IMO

if u don't tell ur missus now how much are u reasonably gonna clear in two years? 8k i wud say as a guess, that still leaves 30k....still gonna be a big shock to her

it may be the time to talk to her now, if it goes tits up and she dumps u at least u know where u stand, if not least she won't get !!!!!! two years down the line when she expects a mortgage....and if u tell her tell her everything.

may as well hang for a lamb as a sheep (or whatever that saying is...)

thats just my opinion mate.........



Will

newmum1

You will feel so much better telling your girlfriend about it, last night i told my O/H and he was fine about it, he didnt shout or do anything i was expecting, your O/H will probably take it better that you expect. hope it works out.