partner with bad debt - how does it affect me?

princess_loki

hi all!

this is my first time on the forum so please bear with me!

my partner is in debt but has asked me to marry him... we currently live apart - him in rented accommadation and i own my house (mortgage). i was wondering if his debt will affect me if we get married and or live together?? will i end up being liable for his debt? could i lose my house? would it affect my credit rating?

as he is going in for major back surgery and is currently on benefits (disability) i don't see him being able to pay his debts off for a considerable amount of time...

any help would be most appreciated as have not actually given him an answer yet!!

sam89

I'm not sure about posting this because I like to keep my posts positive and helpful .

But, I'm concerned that if you didn't fell a huge rush of emotion and the immediate urge to say yes at his proposal then the answer should probably be no :cool:.

izzybusy23

princess_loki wrote: »

hi all!

this is my first time on the forum so please bear with me!

my partner is in debt but has asked me to marry him... we currently live apart - him in rented accommadation and i own my house (mortgage). i was wondering if his debt will affect me if we get married and or live together?? will i end up being liable for his debt? could i lose my house? would it affect my credit rating?

as he is going in for major back surgery and is currently on benefits (disability) i don't see him being able to pay his debts off for a considerable amount of time...

any help would be most appreciated as have not actually given him an answer yet!!

Hi there

As long as you don't have anything joint, such as bank accounts, loans, credit cards etc, then no, his debt will not affect yours.

I can quite understand your concern.. I had the same. My now husband is paying to a DCA and I will livid when I found out how much he owed (as he had lied about it) but I did marry him.. I just know that until his credit score improves then there is not a chance in hell I will have any joint finances with him.

And don't put him on the mortgage either!!!!!!!!!!!

Good luck.

jude47

Hi Princess and Congratulations!

It would be better if he got his debt situation under control before you take the plunge. I hate to rain on your parade, but if you move in together or marry and your partner makes any sort of contribution to the household, he could end up with a share in your home if the worst happens and, God forbid, it doesn't work out.

Why doesn't he contact one of the free debt advice charities - see sticky at the top of the page - and get things sorted then he can concentrate on keeping as well as possible and you can both look forward to a happier future together.

Jude x

princess_loki

hi guys!

good thinking about the mortgage and contributions to the household!

also, good to hear from someone that has 'married into' bad debt and doesnt seem to have problems - i guess if he is honest with me and i know what is happening then it is a good start..

do you think one of those agreement things that the celebs have before getting married is worth it or would it just be a waste of money and hassle??

hotcookie101

jude47 wrote: »

Hi Princess and Congratulations!

It would be better if he got his debt situation under control before you take the plunge. I hate to rain on your parade, but if you move in together or marry and your partner makes any sort of contribution to the household, he could end up with a share in your home if the worst happens and, God forbid, it doesn't work out.

Why doesn't he contact one of the free debt advice charities - see sticky at the top of the page - and get things sorted then he can concentrate on keeping as well as possible and you can both look forward to a happier future together.

Jude x

Hi, I am bit concerned about what you just said about him having a right to the house,. I like with my BF, who doesnt have any debt (AFAIK) and own my own house-he is not on the mortgage. He gives me money each month-not rent we dont have an agreement etc etc just towards lodging/food/bills etc. We arent married, but if we did spilt up(which we aren't planning on doing) does he have any rights to my house? I doubt he would try anything dodgy but even so-I need to know

GeorgeUK

I had researched this a bit a while ago. I also came across a thread here about someone who had spent alot of money on the house with her boyfriend; renovations, redecorating etc. As she was not on the mortgage she was entitled to nothing at all.

completelyspent

I can empathise with your situation as I'm potentially in a similar one myself-I do have a bit of debt but it should be pretty much paid off this year...own my own place and have become sensible with money because of the whole process. This isn't just about money - it's about trust as well and i guess the other person's committment to paying off their debts and that in turn being their commitment to the relationship.
I spoke to a friend who is a solicitor and I think once you are married they would be entitled to part of the house in the event of a divorce-whether on the mortgage or not and the proportion would be dependent on how long you had been married, whether children were involved etc.
The fact they have been honest with you about the debt is good but has there been a commitment to repay the money?
In my case my partner spends a lot of money each month on alcohol and cigarettes which can be quite frustrating sometimes and although I am being encouraging and supportive about the debt it is also important not to facilitate what is causing the debt. If you wanted to pm me for any support please feel free

Sammy_Girl

Hi Princess, welcome to the board

I am the "bad debtor" of my relationship and I think trust is a key issue. My Credit Score is pants, but my OH's is great. We bought our house last year on a joint mortgage. We both pay into a joint account which covers all mortagge and household bills but he does pay more than what I do. However when we bought the house, my parents paid £20k deposit and OH paid £10k deposit. Because we were not married, my parents wanted a "Declaration of Trust" ( I think it's called), which the solicitor drew up stating who had paid what part of the deposit. That way if we split up and sell, then the house will be split proportianally. However, as OH pays more towards the mortgage than I do then this will change over time. We have recently got engaged and I can't see the debts being a major issue. OH knows the extent of my debts and I am paying them off myself, with the aim of clearing these debts by Christmas. We trust each other 100% and OH knows that I am not going to take out any more credit. I do feel bad bringing him into my debt problems, but my long term goal is to clear my debts and only have the mortgage debt outstanding.

Good luck

Sammy x

Sammy_Girl

Sorry Princess, I was rambling in my previous post!! In answer to your questions, you will only be affected by his credit status if you have any joint accounts with him. Obviously if you get married and then you split he may have a claim against some of your house. But if he is intent on clearing his debts, and doesn't need to take any credit out, then he should be supported and encouraged.

Sammy x

tallyhoh

It should be okay unless he has to/forced into bankruptcy. From what I understand (check my posts), its possible that the house could be under threat as he is assumed to have contributed to it if he lives with you. Its not cut & dried but its a very grey area.

Would it be better if you try & sort the debt issue before he lives with you? By sorting I mean clear if possible.

You could try asking if they could post an SOA for some help.