Advice for a stressed out newbie :-(

witsend76

Hi all,

I have got to the point where my situation is starting to consume my thoughts days and night. My situation is that I am in about £70k of debt (not including my mortgage of £118k) which is all unsecured between credit cards and loans. I am up to date on all the payments because for the last few years I have been using my credit cards to live on and kept re-jigging my finances as they got to be maxed out. With the credit crunch as it is I am now approaching the situation where they are all maxed out again but have not been able to get any new finance. I knew this day would come but have well and truly had my head buried in the sand. My problems are
1. My fiance (we get married in November) knows I have debt but does not know the full extent, I know he will be supportive but I feel so deceitful.
2. I work in a bank and am afraid that when the doo doo hits the fan I will lose my job.
3. One of the loans I have is in my Mum's name and I pay the money each month....what would happen with that if I declared bankruptcy?

How will me going bankrupt affect my future husband? We have no joint finances, the mortgage is in my name and he lives here and gives half towards the bills? Can I get some general advice on my situation as I am too scared to make it official and out in the open at the moment!

stapeley

Firstly you need to tell the OH . You can go into a marriage with this hanging over you , it will destroy the relationship in the end . It is also not fair on him . I suggest you talk to him first then come back online for advice on how to tackle this . Talkin to your future life partner is your first step ,good luck .

misspoppy

Hi

Do you have a union because i think it would be good to find out how this could affect your job. There will be plenty of people along that can help you with your debt problems but i think its important to know your options re your job.

Things will be fine well done for reaching out for help.

Lula-Hula

Hi & welcome,

I cant really offer any advice other than to post your Statement of Affairs which all the experts here will go through & offer good advice. This isnt the busiest time of day so I will give you a bump later on to make sure it catches someones eye.

You really have come to the right place if thats any comfort to you, the people here are friendly, supportive full of knowledge & advice & never judgemental.

You've taken the first step in admitting you're in trouble so breathe a sigh of relief because you're no longer on your own. Make yourself a cup of tea & work out your full SOA including all your income & outgoings from the mortgage payments down to your haircuts. dont forget to include all the APR's on your loans & credit cards. If you have a chance the snowball calculator on www.whatsthecost.com is a great tool for working out how long the debts will take to be repaid & in which order you should pay them.

There are also a couple of free debt charities that could be useful. www.cccs.co.uk & also payplan are the ones that majority of people here seem to use.

Hang in there, better help will be along soon

Take care
Lula

witsend76

Thanks so much for the replies so far, I totally agree that the first thing I should do is tell my OH but I kind of wanted to get a little plan of action in place for when I do so I don't just go and drop this giant bombshell with no solutions in place as I don't want him to have to take the burden of any of this. If I had any other job I wouldn't mind but I suspect that once everything becomes out in the open it will be fairly obvious that something is going on if I lose my job! Grrr what a bl@@dy idiot I am!!!

Miia

witsend76 wrote: »

Thanks so much for the replies so far, I totally agree that the first thing I should do is tell my OH but I kind of wanted to get a little plan of action in place for when I do so I don't just go and drop this giant bombshell with no solutions in place as I don't want him to have to take the burden of any of this. If I had any other job I wouldn't mind but I suspect that once everything becomes out in the open it will be fairly obvious that something is going on if I lose my job! Grrr what a bl@@dy idiot I am!!!

Gosh, I really feel for you and I think putting a plan in to place will most definitely help with the conversation and will give you the confidence to do it. I've been lurking for a week now and ready to start posting. I'll explain my reasons on my own post without crashing in on yours.

Are banks still really that strict if you an employee? I find that shocking.

GeorgeUK

Not too sure what the status is of working in the finance sector and going bankrupt.

With regards your mothers loan - it is in her name and she is liable for any repayments no matter what. Even if you went on a Debt Management Plan this is your mothers loan, not yours so you would not be able to reduce the payments or anything.

Definately need to tell other half what the full scale of your debt is. I suggest making a statement of affairs (SOA) and finding exactly how much you have going out and what you can throw at the debts - then see what debts you have and what the minimum repayments are.
http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

Lula-Hula

Just popping back to give you that bump

bank_of_slate

Hi witsend and welcome!
Let us know how you get on, there is always support on here for you when you need it.
...Linda xx

homeaway

Hi there ,I think you have taken a massive step in starting to sort things out. Good luck with telling OH, it is better to reveal all now rather than after the wedding. Take care.

Verbatim

Hi witsend,

Well done on biting the bullet and deciding to sort things out. I totally understand your wanting to have a plan before coming clean to your oh.

you might want to look at the bancruptcy threads/sub boards on here before decing that that's the way to go. One thing to consider is whether you might lose your house/flat. (You said you had a mortgage in your name only). If you write an SOA everyone will be able to suggest savings/cheaper providers they've found and perhaps there's more leeway around than you thought.

Best wishes,
V