sister walked out on husband with massive debts advice please

Nenen

I'm putting this on the debt board as, although it is related to a marital breakdown, I am hoping for advice re a very difficult situation re debts and limiting liability. If this is wrong could the mods move it please?

My little sister has finally walked out on her husband of 12 years (something she should have done many years ago IMHO). He is an aggressive, arrogant bully who, although he didn't physically hurt her to my knowledge (although it wouldn't surprise me to learn he had) has mentally and emotionally abused her for the whole of their marriage.

They have one child aged 10 who is currently with my sister in rented accommodation. During their marriage the husband continually ran up huge debts, insisting on remortgaging their home several times in order (he said) to increase his business although it seems the business is doing badly and still has massive debts. My sister has worked longer and longer hours trying to service all their debts to no avail. Despite this, he has just been away on holiday to Chile for four weeks with a friend. I think it was the 'straw that broke the camels back' for my sister who realised while he was away what a relief it was to her for him not to be there with all his moods and unreasonable demands (he has a drink problem which means she never knows what kind of mood he will be in). He also let slip before he went that he had used the last equity release to pay for his car and holiday and still had an overdraft of £20,000 as well as other debts and now huge mortgage.

When she walked out a few days ago my bil begged her to stay at first and then threatened to 'kick her head in'! One minute he says he is devastated, will change and wants her back but, at the same time is telling their child that my sister is mentally ill. My sister is still so emotionally battered and her self-esteem so low she is racked with guilt and feels this is all her fault. She says she wants things to be 'civilized' and is refusing to see a solicitor as 'it will upset him' (her words)! She has only taken a suitcase of clothes for herself and her child and left everything else in the marital home... again she says she doesn't want to take anything else as it will upset him!!!!! He has told her he is going to change the locks on the marital home so she cannot come and take anything. I've told her I'm 99.99% sure that's illegal but this guy is such a nutter (with a gun licence I might add) that he will do whatever he wants and, unless my sister is prepared to challenge him via a solicitor (which currently she isn't) I'm frantically worried for her. I'm particularly concerned he will take 'revenge' by cleaning her out financially and continuing to run up even bigger debts in joint names.

As she won't go to a solicitor, is there anything she can do to stop him running up further debts she will be jointly liable for or prevent him from cleaning out their joint accounts? I just don't know what to advise her but am hoping someone here might be able to advise.

Horace

If I were her, I would have stayed in the marital home and changed the locks so that he couldnt get back in, plus I would have cleared the joint account as well.

Is the mortgage in joint names or just one? I ask because if its in both their names then I think she may be liable.

She needs to see a solicitor pronto knickers if it upsets said husband - she has to start thinking about herself and her child.

I am sure that others more experienced that I will come on offering advice.

Old_Git

he cant take out joint loans unless she agrees .
Joint accounts he can empty ,but so can she .

Locks on the door ,yes he can change the locks .

COOKIEWILLOW

Poor thing, can she also have a word with local police as he has threatened her? mention gun licence to them too, although he does sound full of hot air but like any cornered rat!! You mentioning it must mean you are worried for her and your nephews safety.

Burlesque_Babe

she can't preven him clearing out the joint account - but then, he can't stop her doing the same thing.

I don't know much about the joint debts, but if she is not living there, she should have her name taken off the council tax bill (and obviously transfer it to her new address) which will be one less joint bill to worry about.

lifesuckssometimes

#1 tell her to withdraw half the money of the account. CLEARING ALL WILL PUT HER IN A BAD LIGHT.
#2 With a guy like this she should contact the police And tell them he has access to guns and is violent this will all help in court to show his true character.
#3 MAKE SURE ANYTHING THAT IS IN JOINT NAMES ARE CANCELED OR INFORM CREDITORS THAT THEY ARE NO LONGER TOGETHER. HE MAY DECIDE to max the cards THEN GO BANKRUPT AND YOUR SIS WILL HAVE A WHOLE LOT OF DEBT TO PAY OFF..

i wish your sis all the strength to get away from the pr##k..

Elaine_Wilson

Well, you have asked for opinions and this is just my opinion.

She needs to see a solicitor as soon as possible to find out exactly how she stands legally and also what is the suggested course of action. Remind her that she does not have to authorise the solicitor to take any action. She just needs to get the legal facts and some unbiased advice.

I'm sure she can do something to prevent further debts being run up. She will probably have to write to the lenders and inform them that she does not authorise any further borrowing. But the solicitor will be able to confirm this or advise her of an alternative.

Unfortunately, whatever she does will probably "upset" him in some way. If she is seriously worried about the threat of violence then she should contact the police and consider moving to a refuge.

I do hope this can be sorted out without any nastiness. But remind her to think of her child, rather than of the father. She has to do what is best for the long term, even if someone is upset along the way.

Sorry I can't be of real help. But my thoughts are with your sister.

supersavershal

I really beleive your sister needs to see a solicitor.She should also obtain a copy of her credit reference and in doing so have it ammended to disassociate herself from her husband.Her credit reference will give her an idea of all the credit outstanding and whether it is in her name.
Will her husband be able to afford the mortgage without your sisters wage if he has released the equity? If he does not pay the mortgage company will come after your sister if she is named on it.
Again, she really does need a solicitor, it can still remain amicable it will just mean she gets all the correct advice and if her husband becomes difficult she will not have to deal with him.