Dating a guy who's Bankrupt

Badger_Lady

Yep, I'm still on the hunt for a Badger_Man!

For those who haven't heard it all before - I was badly burned by my ex who basically took advantage of me financially, refusing to work for a living and leaving me in a lot of debt (which is now thankfully paid off!). I've spent the last 2.5 years single, working hard to get myself back onto a solid financial footing, and am now ready to get back "out there".

I met a guy yesterday who I find really interesting - intelligent, creative, witty and fun to be around. But he's unemployed and is about 18 months into his 3-year bankruptcy. According to him, he went bankrupt when his photography business failed, and is currently interviewing for a pretty sound job that he's almost guaranteed to get (obtained through "networking").

Should I step back to protect myself, and recommend he sorts himself out first, or am I being overly cautious?

I guess there's likely to be a lot of bias posting in this forum, but I'd love to hear it from both sides!

Waspeze

As a bankrupt single bloke .. i'd just say the only thing to make sure is that you are not taken advantage of again but i'm sure you know this

As long as he pays his way and doesn't expect to be able to sponge of you then go for it!

One thing i'm a bit confused about though .. bankruptcy lasts for 1 year not 3 so unless he's paying an IPA (which would be odd if he's unemployed) then has he been naughty and got himself a BRO?

2Loose

Surely it is possible to explore this 'interesting' man without putting yourself on the line for him if things don't work out in the near future. It isn't every day that we meet people that 'click' so well and nothing ventured, nothing gained in my opinion.
Hopefully he should have learned from his past mistakes and as long as you don't sign everything over to him then I don't really see your concern, as long as you ensure that you remain in sole control of your financial matters until things pan out a bit further down the road.

Be good and be happy.

duchy

I'd keep it very light until he has started the new job....especially if he's been out of work for a while (and if he has ask myself why).
Just go in with your eyes wide open-and don't link yourself financially in any way whatsoever-even in trivial ways................and see how things go.
Good luck !

Badger_Lady

2Loose wrote: »

Surely it is possible to explore this 'interesting' man without putting yourself on the line for him if things don't work out in the near future.

Thanks

I think my (possibly paranoid) concern is that he could be habitually bad with money - that this could be a warning of future problems with him - and that I could get quite emotionally invested before I figure that out.

It was part of the problem with my ex - by the time I was working 3 jobs and bleeding cash, I was in love and convinced that "he'll sort himself out soon"...

dalip

Sorry but you met this guy yesterday,so when's the wedding:D .


Now serious. Take it one step at a time and see how things pan out. For the time being try to keep your distance emotionally so you dont get hurt again. That sad some women can be drawn to a particular "type" of chap. I don't think his bc comes into it,it's his not being able to pay is way i would be more bothered about.

Let us know how it goes as i might well need a new hat soon.:rotfl:

philnicandamy

dalip changes username to Cilla

NekoZombie

Badger_Lady wrote: »

Yep, I'm still on the hunt for a Badger_Man!

For those who haven't heard it all before - I was badly burned by my ex who basically took advantage of me financially, refusing to work for a living and leaving me in a lot of debt (which is now thankfully paid off!). I've spent the last 2.5 years single, working hard to get myself back onto a solid financial footing, and am now ready to get back "out there".

I met a guy yesterday who I find really interesting - intelligent, creative, witty and fun to be around. But he's unemployed and is about 18 months into his 3-year bankruptcy. According to him, he went bankrupt when his photography business failed, and is currently interviewing for a pretty sound job that he's almost guaranteed to get (obtained through "networking").

Should I step back to protect myself, and recommend he sorts himself out first, or am I being overly cautious?

I guess there's likely to be a lot of bias posting in this forum, but I'd love to hear it from both sides!

I'd say, regardless of whether he's bankrupt or not, that you hardly know enough about him for this to be a major issue. You'd be right to think about this if you were about to get married, but as you've only just met, I'd say shelve this one away until you're about to make a serious decision about your relationship together. You're one step away from asking if he'd make a good dad! :rolleyes::rotfl:

EDIT: I see Dalip and I are thinking the same thing